


Whatthefuckisthis.jpg

by SammiPheonex



Series: Whatthefuckisthis.jpg (series) [1]
Category: I Am Not Okay with This (TV 2020), IT (Movies - Muschietti), Stranger Things (TV 2016), The Goldfinch (2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Have a Good Relationship, Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Bisexual Bill Denbrough, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Boris Pavlikovsky & Richie Tozier & Mike Wheeler Are Triplets, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Little Shit, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Disaster Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Panic, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Losers Club (IT) Group Chat, Multi, Musicals, Not Beta Read, Polyamory, Rated T for Trashmouth, Richie Tozier Has ADHD, Richie Tozier Has PTSD, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Soon to be Revised, Teenage Losers Club (IT), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Trans Stanley Barber, Trauma, bisexual icon stanley barber, gender-neutral pronouns for Stan, non-binary Stan, pansexual sydney novak, queer dina, starkid will be mentioned bc i love it, the party makes an appearance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21682339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammiPheonex/pseuds/SammiPheonex
Summary: Mikey: @bigbill hasnt said anythingEddiek: yeah he could be some sort of creepBevvy: i dont think soBevvy: everyone else turned out niceBigbill: what the literal fucjBigbill: i have 25 notifs for somthing i didnt even knoe existedAn IT group chat fanfiction where everyone is gay, they all just met about 3 seconds ago, and Richie was adopted, but of course, he doesn't know that yet.Stick around because of all the shenanigans to get into, these 7 get into the most shenani-est shenanigans to ever shanan.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Dustin Henderson/Lucas Sinclair, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Beverly Marsh/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Stanley Barber/Dina/Sydney Novak, Theodore Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, minor Nancy Wheeler/Jonathan Byers, minor steve harrington/billy hargrove
Series: Whatthefuckisthis.jpg (series) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563028
Comments: 74
Kudos: 363





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [a (number) neighborhood of seven](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20185441) by [BookRockShooter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookRockShooter/pseuds/BookRockShooter). 
  * Inspired by [thanks obama](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23319196) by [bytheinco_nstantmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bytheinco_nstantmoon/pseuds/bytheinco_nstantmoon). 



> trash mouth-tozier=richie  
> eddiek=Eddie  
> bevvy=beverly  
> mikey=mike  
> benny=ben  
> stan=stan  
> bigbill=bill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything begins

august 28th 2019, 3:20pm

trashmouth-tozier created number neighbours

trashmouth-tozier added, bevvy, eddiek, stan, bigbill, benny, and mikey

trashmouth-tozier: hello number neighbours, it is i, your god

stan: im jewish

trashmouth-tozier: nvm then

bevvy: what is this?????

trashmouth-tozier: number neighbors

trashmouth-tozier: see bc ourt numbers are all off by one number

stan: i dont like this at all

stan: is there an option to leave?????

benny: hi!

mikey: who are you all?

trashmouth-tozier: richie 

bevvy: beverly

eddiek: no this is not smart what if someone here tries to kill me

bevvy: i dont hink anyone here is gonna kill you

trashmouth-tozier: plus we all know ur name is eddie k anyways

eddiek: what the fuck!

eddiek: how the fuck!!!

benny: your name is ur username 

trashmouth-tozier: yeah dickhead

trashmouth-tozier: benny is right

mikey: @bigbill hasnt said anything

eddiek: yeah he could be some sort of creep

bevvy: i dont think so

bevvy: everyone else turned out nice

bigbill: what the literal fucj

bigbill: i have 25 notifs for somthing i didnt even knoe existed

bigbill: what did i do to deserve this 

bevvy: not a serial killer i assume???

bigbill: no wtf my brother just found and adopted a stray dog and now i have to tell my parents

eddiek: that could be ur method 

eddiek: luring in kids with the promise of dogs

bigbill: ummmmm… no

bigbill: first off im not a serial killer

bigbill: second of all my brother would kill me if i gave away the dog

bigbill: and third of all who are you people?

trashmouth-tozier: a fucking trashmouth with no sense of personal bounderies

bigbill: ok not what i ment but good enough

bevvy: most of our names are in our usernames

mikey: yeah my name is mike

benny: ben

stan: can i leave?

stan: also stan

eddiek: i still dont tlike this 

trashmouth-tozier: its not bad no one's died yet

eddiek: oh sothats the fucking bar

eddiek: death!!!!!!!

eddiek: fuck no im getting the fuck out of here thank you very much

stan: same

stan: once you figure out hbow pls take me with you

eddiek: why the fuck cant i leave

trashmouth-tozier: no particular reason

trashmouth-tozier: no reason at all

eddiek: fuck you richie let me out

bigbill: i think eddie is the true trashmouth of this chat

benny: um yeah i was gonna mention thatb

trashmouth-tozier: fuck no

trashmouth-tozier: i am the trashmouth thank you very fuckinh much

bevvy: i think richie is trying to overcompensate dont you guys?

eddiek: yes

eddiek: yes i do

bevvy: see eddie agrees with me

eddiek: not really i just hate richie

trashmouth-tozier: fuck off u dick

august 30th 2019, 4:35am  
number neighbors

bevvy: anyone else awake??/

trashmouth-tozier: bold of you to assume i sleep

stan: bold of you to assume i live

bevvy: r u ok stan

stan: bold of you to assume im ever ok

eddiek: thats not ok 

trashmouth-tozier: i think thats the point

eddiek: fine euck off

bevvy: euck

stan: euck sounds like a disese

trashmouth-tozier: oh yeah i got it from eddies mom once

eddiek: fuck offf richie

eddiek: stop talking about my mom you dont even know her or me

bevvy: yeah richie i think you should leave eddies mom alone

stan: maybe richie 

trashmouth-tozier: fuck off i can do what i want

bigbill: go to sleep you guys

bigbill: please

benny: please

mikey: pls

august 30st 2019, 11:12am  
number neighbors

bigbill: what ws that about last night

bevvy: technically it was tyhis morning

bevvy: but i couldnt sleep and stans dead

benny: what??????

stan: i am

eddiek: fucking lie

stan: inside

stan: im dead inside

mikey: nooooo dont be dead inside

mikey: think about happy things like rainbows and puppies

bigbill: oohh wanna see pictures of my new dog?

bevvy: yes!!!!

bevvy: dogs are my life

bigbill: georgieanddog.jpg

bigbill: georgieanddog2.jpg

bigbill: ihatethedog.jpg

bigbill: georgieanddog3.jpg

bevvy: aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww

benny: so cute

mikey: aggghhhh i want a dog so badnow 

trashmouth-tozier: ooh the dog is cute

trashmouth-tozier: doed it have a name?

bigbill: yeah his name is asterisk

bevvy: like *

bigbill: like asterisk and obelisk the old french cartoon

bigbill: asteriskandobelisk.jpg

eddiek: im trying to pack and now im distracted by asterisk

bevvy: pack for what?

eddiek: college

benny: where are you going?

eddiek: somewhere far far far away from derry

trashmouth-tozier: omfg u live in derry?

benny: we all do

bevvy: how do you know that?

benny: area codes

mikey: oh yeah bc we all live in the same town we have the same area code

trashmouth-tozier: thanks for explaining that mikey i had no idea what an area code was

bevvy: domt pick on mike bc ur a dumbass

trashmouth-tozier: i wasnt picking on mikey hes to nice to do tht too

trashmouth-tozier: i astually didnt know what area codes ment 

trashmouth-tozier i just knew they were a thing

stan: no surprise there

benny: so is everyone going to college?

bevvy: im going to the fashion institute of technology full scholorship

eddiek: thats amazing beverly!!!  
eddiek: im going to columbia university

bevvy: those are really close

bevvy: we could meet up for luch sometime or something 

benny: im going to new york college of technology

bigbill: im going to hunter college 

bigbill: also in new york

trashmouth-tozier: guess whos alsp going to columbia university

trashmouth-tozier: this guy

eddiek: fuck

stan: poor eddie

stan: im going to nyu 

mikey; barnard for me

benny: were all in the same general ares!!!!!!

bevvy: ooooohhhhh

bigbill: thats interesting

trashmouth-tozier: huh

eddiek: fuck im going to school with fucking richie

eddiek: no fuck no hell to the fuck no

bevvy: it cant be that bad

benny: is everyont living on campus?

bigbill: i am

eddiek; i am moving in tomorrow

trashmouth-tozier: im moved in already

trashmouth-tozier: ha

bevvy: i moved in a couple days ago

benny: me 2

stan; im moving in tomorrow 2 but im already packed, bc im smart

mikey: i moved in a couple days ago

trashmouth-tozier: lol eds is the only one who hasnt moved in yet

eddiek: dont fucking call me that!!!!!!!!

bevvy: aww eddie’s mad

bigbill: hes probably so tiny and mad

stan: how tall are you anyeays eddie?

eddiek: tall af

trashmouth-tozier: i dont believe a single second of that bullshit

eddiek: fuckinh fine 

bevvy: im 5’5”

mikey: im 6’3”

trashmouth-tozier: awwwww mikey’s taller than me

trashmouth-tozier: not that i expected anything different

trashmouth-tozier: im5’10”

stan: im 5’11”

stan; ha richie im taller than u

benny: im 6’2”

bigbill: im 5’ 7”

bigbill: im fucking short

bevvy: ur taller than me :)

eddiek: height dosent matter!

trashmouth-tozier: only short people think that

eddiek: its not my fault im 5’3”

stan: ………….ur shorter then beverly

eddiek: shut the fuck up staniel

trashmouth-tozier: hahahahhhahhahahhahahhaahahahahahahahhahhahahahahhah hahhahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahhahahha

trashmouth-tozier: ‘tall af’ he said omfg im dying

trashmouth-tozier: yeah hes tall af 

trashmouth-tozier: also staniel?

trashmouth-tozier changed stan to staniel

staniel: you fix this right now tozier or i swear ill kill u in ur sleep

bevvy: lmao im dying this is so fucking funny

eddiek: no its not im not fucking short

benny: you prolly havnt finished growing eddie

bigbill: yeah ull grow more 

mikey: then ull be taller than richie and u can rub that in his face

bevvy: wait so the hight order is (from shortest to tallest) 

bevvy: eddie me bill richie stan ben mike 

eddiek: fuck this im going to go finish packing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is very similar to other group chat fics, so please let me know if you find one similar to mine and I will tag them as inspiration, thank you :)


	2. Roommates and meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben and Bev meet  
> Richie and Eddie meet  
> the party is introduced, vaguely

september 1st 2019, 2:37pm  
number neighbors

eddiek: fml

eddiek: i fucking hate everything 

eddiek: but especially stupid fucking asshiole richie motherfucking tozier

trashmouth-tozier: yeah well same sentiment

trashmouth-tozier: fucker

eddiek: im selling my roommate anyone want one motherfucking dickface

eddiek: im willing to negotiate

bevvy: omg r u guys roommates?

eddiek: of fucking course

eddiek: because fate fucking hates me

trashmouth-tozier: yeah well your fucking annoying and short

trashmouth-tozier: i s2g eds is shorter than 5 3 hes like 4 3 

trashmouth-tozier: hes tiiiiinnnyyy

bevvy: wow

bevvy: how messy is richie exactaly 

eddiek: dont gey me fucking started

eddiek: hes so messy he already has clothes everywhere

eddiek: do you even know what a hamper is???????????

bigbill: stop goading them beverly

staniel: yeah exactly how annoying is eddie?

trashmouth-tozier: so annoying i mean the first words he said were

trashmouth-tozier: all these clothes everywhere have got to be a fire hazard

trashmouth-tozier: and we’re so far away from the stair well if theres a fire we’re both dead

trashmouth-tozier: so i said 

trashmouth-tozier: if theirs a fire im throwing you out the window and using you as a human pillow to break my fall

eddiek: hes a fucking nightmare with no regards to fire safety

trashmouth-tozier: maybe i’d rather die in a fire than be ur roommate

staniel; this sis comedy gold  
staniel: i regret ever wanting to leave

bigbill: come on guys

bigbill: it cant be that bad

eddiek: oh it fucking is

benny: wow my roommate is really nice

benny: his name is will

benny: hes really nice but dosent talk that much

staniel: i would also like to sell my roommate

staniel: his name is dustin hes an ass

staniel: im willing to pay for you to take him

staniel: he talks 

staniel: constantly

eddiek: cant be as bad as richie

eddiek: i’ll take him

staniel: i dont want richie so ur gonna have to figure out a place for him to stay

eddiek: fuck nvm

eddiek: if someone takes richie ill take dustin

staniel: any one want to take richie!!!!!!!!

mike: sorry stan and eddie but my roommate is super nice his name is also mike 

mike: which is confusing

bevvy: woah

bevvy: so my roommate just got here and ive never been more bisexual in my whole life

bevvy: her name is max and shes so pretty

bevvy: ashfjklhdjkaslfhfhku

bevvy: im dead

trashmouth-tozier: bi-buddies (^*^)

bevvy: (^*^)

bigbill: (^*^)

bigbill: im bi too

bigbill: my roommates name is lucas

bigbill: hes cool

eddiek: someone take richie pls

eddiek: he just started playing anaconda

eddiek: the fucking nikki manaj song

eddiek: get me the fuck outta here

bevvy: im sorry eddie but max is amazing and i cant have richie fucking this up

staniel: pls beverly take him so i can get rid of dustin

staniel: pls

benny: hey hes ur roommate stan be nice to him

bigbill: hey btw what r everyones pronouns 

bigbill: i dont want to get anything wrong when we meet

bevvy: oohh thats smart

bevvy: she/her

benny: he/him

benny: good thinking bill

mikey: he/him

trashmouth-tozier: he/him

eddiek: he/him

bigbill: he/him 

bigbill: stan?

staniel: sorry dealing with dustin and his fucking talking

staniel: they/them

bevvy: cool! 

bevvy: that was really good thinking bill

benny: yeah!

benny: now im not nearly as nervous t meet you all as i was 10 minutes ago

september 1st 2019, 10:23pm  
number neighbors

eddiek: seriously richie!!!!!!!!!!!

eddiek: please stop

bevvy: richie what r u doung????

staniel: i wanna know

bigbill:can u show me, i wanna know bout t he strangers like me

bigbill: tell me more pls show me somethings famillier about the strangers like me

benny: every gesture every moove that she makesmakes me feel like never before

mikey: why do i have this growing need to be beside her there r some emotions that i never knew some for the world far beyond this place

benny: beyond the trees above the clouds i see before me a new horizon i want to kno

bigbill: can you show me?iwant to know bout the stragers like me

eddiek: that

eddiek: that is what hesmdoing 

eddiek: watching tarzan

eddiek: one of if not the mose random movie in the history of disney

eddiek: god i wanna kill him

trashmouth-tozier: its the best movie in the history of mankind ever

trashmouth-tozier: its better by far than star wars or any other disney movie

trashmouth-tozier: im right and whatever eddie says next is wrong

eddiek: fine richie 

eddiek: iguess its a good movie

bevvy: damn richie

bevvy: eddie schooled you

trashmouth-tozier: fuck

trashmouth-tozier: goddamnit eds

trashmouth-tozier: fuckinf fuck you

bigbill: omfg lol this is the best

staniel: i told you

staniel: comedy gold

benny: will left to go visit his friends :(

benny: im all alone:(

benny: on a sunday

bevvy: where do u go again?

bevvy: i’d take the subway over if i knew:)

benny: new york college of technology

bevvy: its only 11minutes on the subway

bevvy: im on my way ben

bevvy: ur gonna hve top give me instructions to ur dorm

bevvy: ill dm u

september 1st 2019, 11:00pm  
bevvy-benny 

bevvy: im here 

bevvy: where is ur dorm

benny: oh… i thought u were joking

benny: gimme a minute ill walk out

bevvy: you dont habe too

benny: its easier

bevvy: ok then :)

beverly was nervous, meeting ben for the first time would be interesting. she didn’t even know what he looked like or what he liked. she took the train over on some stupid ass whim and he probably thought she was nuts.

she looked around, shivering, september nights got chilly in new york and she was wearing a thin t-shirt and jeans. 

“um, beverly?” someone spoke from behind her.

she spun around spooked. “sorry, sorry, sorry. it's ben.” the tall man with broad shoulders and beautiful blue eyes spoke yet again.

“ oh!” she sighed in relief, “you scared the crap out of me ben.” 

“i'm sorry, i didn't mean to scare you.” ben looked sheepish.

she smiled, before mentioning how chilly it was and how could he walk around without a coat on in his own thin t-shirt.

ben laughed and said something about how cold maine nights got and that she should be used to it.

the two walked back to ben’s dorm, where it was considerably warmer than outside. talking late into the night and only occasionally appearing on the groupchat to talk about how nice and sweet and amazing the other is, the two formed a very close friendship.

at two o’clock in the morning she spoke up from her spot at ben’s roommate, will’s, desk. “i should probably head back to my dorm.”

ben wilted, “ oh yeah, it is getting late.”

“i'm sorry i don't want to go but…” she sighed, “ i should.”

“ you could stay here.” ben blurted out “will is staying at his boyfriend’s place, you could take his bed.”

“i don't know ben.” she muttered, “wouldn't that be a bit weird?”

“since when do you care?” he asked her.

“never.” she said firmly with a smile on her face. “i'll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave constructive criticism, I love to know how to improve my writing :)


	3. proper meetings and stan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group hangs out at Central Park

september 2nd 2019, 9:50am  
number neighbors

bevvy: we should meet up today

bevvy: unless anyone is doing anything?

mikey: i have orientation in 10 

mikey: but i could meet for lunch

bigbill: yeah lunch sounds good

trashmouth-tozier: lunch?????

trashmouth-tozier: is thta one of those meal things people do?

eddiek: ok lets pretend you didnt start crying at 5:30 in the morning because the cafeteria dosent open until 7:00

trashmouth-tozier: that sounds like a wonderful idea

trashmouth-tozier: lets not

bevvy: stan?

bevvy: can u do lunch?

bevvy: stan?

eddiek: their probably asleep

benny: its 10:00 bev

benny: stop doing things

eddiek: doing things???

benny: shes all

benny: im hungry does this place have food? where is it? comeon lets go!

benny: uuugghhh its too early fort this shit

trashmouth-tozier: wait did beverly stay the night????

trashmouth-tozier: you sly dog benny boy

trashmouth-tozier: how was it, i need answers

bevvy: shut the fuck up richie

bevvy: im inline to get food

benny: nothing happened

benny: bev stayed in will’s bed

benny: he stayed with his boyfriend

mikey: mike2 had his boyfriend will over

mikey: how much you wanna bet their the same will

mikey: ill go for 200

trashmouth-tozier: fuck i could use that money but i dont want to lose it when they turn outto be thee same will

eddiek: at least you know ur wrong

staniel: icango

staniel: myspacebarsbroken

staniel: buticangoforlucnhwherewillwego?

bevvy: idk ill look when i sit down to eat breakfast

benny: its fine ill do it

benny: i found a panda express and an arbys

benny: vote

trashmouth-tozier: panda express

eddiek: arbys

bevvy: where do you actually want to go?

bevvy: we all know ur only doing it bc richie said panda express

bevvy: also i want panda express

staniel: arbysandwecouldtakeoutandgositincentralpark

staniel: ifuwantto

mikey: arbys sounds nice

mikey and i like ur idea stan

benny: well i vote for panda express

bigbill: panda express

bevvy: k theres a panda express down the street, its only about 20 minutes away from us

bigbill: we could meet by the natural history museum?????

mikey: cool

staniel: surethatsoundslikeaplan

trashmouth-tozier: stan with a plan

trashmouth-tozier changed staniel to stanwithaplan

stanwithaplan: fuckyou

stanwithaplan: reallyfuckyourichie

eddiek: thank you staniel

trashmouth-tozier changed stanwithaplan to staniel

staniel: realytruelyfuckyourichie

staniel: fuckyourichie

staniel:fuckyoutothebestofmylongdistancenospacesabilities

eddiek: thank you staniel 

bigbill: damn i almost forgot his name isnt actually staniel

benny: lmao me too

bevvy: it isnt

staniel: noitisnt

staniel: itsjuststan

trashmouth-tozier changed staniel to itsjuststan

itsjuststan: fuckthefuckoffrichieumassivedickhead

trashmouth-tozier: frichie i like that

trashmouth-tozier changed trashmouth-tozier to frichie

frichie: i love it thanks itsjuststan

itsjuststan: eddie make him stop

eddiek: i cant  
eddiek: i dont think anyone canever stop him

bevvy: stan you got your space bar back!!

itsjuststan: yeah, i tried it again and it worked

itsjuststan: whixh is good bc i can now tell richie to fuck off with the power of the space bar on my side

bevvy: we have to go get the food

bevvy: see u all there!!!!!

benny: cant wait to meet the rest of you

itsjuststan: i should probably go too if i wanna be on time

frichie changed their name to trashmouth-tozier

eddiek: we should go too richie

trashmouth-tozier: ok

bigbill: i cant wait to meet yoi guys!!!!!!

richie and i arrived at the american museum of natural history, they argued the whole train ride and had not stopped when the train did. “i’m just saying, if you've never seen one how do you know it exists?” i argued.

“well if you've never seen one how do you know it doesn't exist!” richie pushed back, we had been arguing about nonsensical things all day. now we were on the topic of the supernatural, more specifically, ghosts. 

“ok but what about like, bigfoot?” i asked “because you can't seriously believe in a mutated man bear living in the middle of the woods?”

richie looked astonished, “of, fucking, course i believe in bigfoot. don't you?”

“did you not hear me? no i dont believe in some glorified bearman in the middle of the, fucking unsanitary as hell, woods.” i shuddered, so unsanitary.

walking towards us was a redhead woman and a buff blond man, not that i took much notice, not until they stopped in front of us.

richie , of course, kept talking, not noticing the couple. “look just because he lives in the woods and noones seen him does not mean he dosent fucking exist. i mean people live in the woods and they exist, so how hard is it for you to believe bigfoot exists?” 

he said it with so much affrontation, i couldn't help answering with “do you live in your own little world?” before gesturing to the pair standing in front of us, stifling giggles. i sent them a glare, the one that made richie think twice about asking me about my inhaler last night.

“who are you?” richie asked them, completely switching trains of thought. he probably has adhd, like i do. richie nudged me, i had completely spaced out and done exactly what i had mentally accused richie of. 

“im beverly, this is ben. you must be richie and eddie.” the redhead known as beverly said, gesturing to us.

we nodded. “you really are tiny eddie.” she said then giggled.

“im not fucking short.” i grumbled,

“yeah.” richie said. i stared, he always said the same thing to me, that i was so teeny tiny. “he's just fun-sized, aren’t you eddie-kins.”

“ goddamn it richie, fuck off.” i can't believe i thought he would defend me. honestly it hurt a bit.

seeing as beverly had the food with her we went and found a picnic bench to sit on while we waited for the others. 

while waiting we continued arguing, beverly taking richies side and ben opting to observe. then we got a notification from the group chat, it was stan.

september 2nd 2019, 11:59

itsjuststan: im here where r u guts

trashmouth-tozier: inside my stomach

itsjuststan: fuck you

itsjuststan: you know what i mean

bevvy: were at a picnic table

itsjuststan: thanks thats sooooooo helpful

bevvy: were on the left of this really big tree

eddiek: which is dangerous the branches could collapse on us and kill us and we’d be dead and that would fucking suck and-

while the others were typing on their phones, trying to help staniel find us, i was looking for the aforementioned staniel. suddenly i saw eddie beginning to shake.

“eddie?” i asked him, “are you ok?”

“we’re under a tree that will probably collapse and kill us all and then we’ll be dead and i will have never graduated college and gotten married and i’d just have died and i’d be dead.” he panicked, beginning to hyperventilate.

“eddie. breathe.” i said, beginning to take exaggerated, slow, breathes. “it’s ok eds, just copy me.” 

beverly and ben looked like they wanted to help, but didnt know what to do. i was just grateful they didn't try, they probably would have made him panic more.

when eddie calmed down, taking only a minute or two to breathe properly. 

“sorry.” the smaller teen said, looking nervous. “i get really anxious over dumb things.”

“it's no problem, it wasn't your fault.” i said, meaning it to be reassuring.

“of course it wasn’t my fault!” eddie said, looking upset. “panic attacks are never the panicker’s fault.” 

“exactly, see we agree.” i said. eddie looked absolutely terrified.

“no. absolutely not. i'm not agreeing with you. never in a million years. i will never agree with you.” eddie yelled, standing up to his full 5’ 3”.

“hi” a tall person with very, very, fluffy hair, said. “im stan.”

“staniel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” i cried out. 

“its stan, just stan.” stan told me, with a flat look on his face.

“ok” i said, waiting for them to say hello to beverly, ben, and eddie. as soon as ben began to say hello, im ben. i couldn’t help blurting out “staniel.” 

stan turned to glare at me. “shut up richie.” 

“if he can he never has.” eddie piped up.

everyone introduced themselves to stan, and, when richie and eddie went to introduce themselves, stan said “you’re richie and the small one is eddie.” 

eddie just sputtered. i laughed, “you're hilarious staniel.” i was able to get out between laughs. “ you are exactly like i expected you to be.” 

stan slightly smiled. “is that a good thing?” 

i smiled “hell yeah.”


	4. more meetings and the realization of brats

the five of them sat around the table, talking and not touching the chinese food that bev bought them. 

bill was close to the five but, not knowing what the others looked like, did not know where they were. pulling out his phone and checking what the others told stan about their location, turned and heard someone yell. 

“stop it richie you butt.” bill immediately looked in the direction of the yell, he saw five friends sitting around a picnic table, he was unsure whether they were his five friends. 

bill was mildly anxious to meet his friends in real life, especially because, through text he doesn't have a stutter. 

while watching the five on the picnic table bill heard a conversation that cemented the fact that these were his internet friends. 

“you can disagree, but you’ll know internally i’m right.” the curly haired, gangly, teen said, waving his long limbs around.

the short brunette was quick to respond, “yeah but i’ll know your wrong and im right.”

“neither of you are right.” the redhead woman sighed, the fluffy haired person next to her shook their head, seemingly agreeing with her statement.

bill sighed, seems like richie and eddie flirt just as much in real life as they do online. steeling his nerves and, telling his anxiety to shut the fuck up, began to walk towards his, presumed, friends. though he was right he didn’t know that then.

the closer he neared the more anxious he became. he was almost there when his brain started screaming ‘nononononononononononononononono’

he was just about to turn around and take the train back to his dorm when the redheaded women noticed him, “hi, are you one of the dumb boys i know over the internet?”

“ uuum, y-y-y-yeah.” he stuttered out, everyone's eyes on him. “ i-i-i’m bi-bill”

“hi bill, i’m richie, this short-stack is eds, stan is the human-bird’s nest over there, beverly is this gorgeous lady, and benny is mr. cutie-patootie.” richie said, introduced the other four at his table with individual nicknames. 

eddie protested his and stan flipped richie off, but otherwise everyone seemed content with their nicknames. “i’ll call you… deer. because your hair is the perfect colour to be a deer.” richie told the other, shorter teen. 

“uumm, th-th-thank you.” bill stuttered out, feeling a little bit better about the whole scenario. in response richie shoved eddie off the bench and patted the seat. bill laughed and took the seat. when eddie finished yelling at richie he sat back down next to ben, “you would never push me off a picnic bench, right ben?” 

“of course not.” ben replied and eddie looked pointedly at richie, richie made a face back and the two began bickering again.

beverly was a patient person, but she was getting hungry and they were still waiting on mike. 

almost as soon as she began to think about beginning to eat without mike he arrived. 

“um… are you guys the number neighbors gang?” a tall, broad, darker skinned man said, standing behind beverly, making her spin all the way around.

“yeppers!” she shot to him, there was something about him that made her want to smile.

“i’m mike.” he told her and she introduced him to the other boys and stan, who had just realized he was there.

they all dug into the food. everyone was talking and laughing, as if they had known the others their whole life. 

“r-r-richie!” bill laughed out, the other man having attempted to stab his sweet and sour chicken with a chopstick and eat it that way, only to have it fall on bill’s pants.

the whole group lost it and began to laugh, this whole encounter felt familiar to bev, as if, in a past life, they lived in this state of companionship.

afterwards, with the promise to meet again soon, they split up, back to college, back to life.

september 19th 2019, 4:35pm  
number neighbors

trashmouth-tozier: that was the most fun ive had since i came to ny

eddiek: so ur saying im not fun?

trashmouth-tozier: yep :)

trashmouth-tozier: u were probably born before fun was invented

itsjuststan: thats impossible

itsjuststan: fun was never invented

bigbill: stans right

itsjuststan: xp

eddiek: thanx stan :)

eddiek: now can u tell richie that his clothes on the floor are a huge fire hazard and should be picked up immediately

itsjuststan: he wouldnt listen to me

trashmouth-tozier: talk about me where i can see it why dontcha

itsjuststan: ok

eddiek: sure 

eddiek: thanks foe ur permission 

bevvy: u guys are as much brats in real life as u are over message

bigbill: u speakthe truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth

mikey: yup

mikey: sorry guys but their right

mikey: u guys are endearing brats

trashmouth-tozier: awww fuck off

bevvy: :)


	5. learning and making true friends

september 23rd, 2019, 11:30am  
number neighbors 

trashmouth-tozier: so

trashmouth-tozier: if i was to theoreticaly to kill someone (read eddie) what would you do about it?????

bevvy: maybe id help

bevvy: depends

juststan: yes

juststan: id love to help u

juststan: where when and how

bigbill: should i be concerned????

eddiek: ummmmmmm yes

eddiek: honestly im afraid for my own life rn

benny: what happend

eddiek: i just thought id do a bit of cleaning

eddiek: i mean the clothes on the floor were beginning to resemble mt everest

eddiek: so i picked some of his shit off the floor

eddiek: and when richie came back from acting/drama class

eddiek: he flipped the fuck out

eddiek: so now he wants me dead and im going to go live in the library now thank you very much

bevvy: um ok so petition to make richie clean his own half of the room so eddie dosent have an aneurysm 

benny: signed

mikey: signed by me too

bigbill: i shall also sign

juststan: i vote/sign for anything that involves killing

trashmouth-tozier: um i dont want to die

trashmouth-tozier: pls

eddiek: neither do i

september 24th 2019, 2:50pm

bevvy: hey r any of u guys ok with wearing dresses?

trashmouth-tozier: yes

trasmouth-tozier: me

trashmouth-tozier: always

bevvy: k cool bc i need someone to model a design

bevvy: just to seee how it fits on an actual person

bevvy: if u really like it u can keep it after

bevvy: especially bc it will fiut u pwrfectly

trashmouth-tozier: ofc

trashmouth-tozier: and i want to keep it if i can 

bevvy: yes

bevvy: awesome

bevvy: can u come oveer tomy dorm tonight

bevvy: or tomorrow mornign or now idk

trashmouth-tozier: i can be there in half an hour

bevvy: omfg thanks so much trashmouth-baby

trashmouth-tozier: omfg i love my new nickname

bevvy changed trashmouth-tozier to trashmouth-baby

trashmouth-baby: asdfghjkl 

trashmouth-baby: i love it bev thank u so much asddseff

bigbill: im in class losers

trashmouth-baby: im leaving to ur place rn bevv

bevvy: see u in 30 xd

september 24th 2019, 9:50pm

bevvy changed trashmouth-baby to prettyinadress

prettyinadress: its not me in the dress its the dress on me

bevvy: richie you are gorgeous

bevvy: and wonderful

bevvy: and u look fantabulous

mikey: beverly send pictures now

bigbill: yes i want pictures 

bevvy: richieinagown.jpg

bevvy: gorgeoustrash-baby.jpg

bevvy: richiemydarling.jpg

bevvy: myextraboi.jpg

eddiek: whatthefuck

eddiek: omg

benny: wow richie u look stunning

bigbill: yeah bens right u look wonderful

bevvy: see i told u u looked amaze-balls

prettyinadress: asdfghjklrin

prettyinadress: theyre all lies

eddiek: oh ok

eddiek: that is a fuxking lie

eddiek: u look wonderful

eddiek: so shut the fuck up

mikey: eddie is right

mikey: u look incredible 

prettyinadress: ok is this gang up on richie hour

bevvy: no this is make sure richie feels like a gorgeous sob hour

prettyinadress: so im crying

prettyinadress: bev can attest

bevvy: tis true

september 25th, 2019 8:33am  
number neighbors

itsjuststan: guys

itsjuststan: um problem

bigbill: whats wrong stan?

itsjuststan: um

itsjuststan: nothing

prettyinadress: staniel

prettyinadress: tell me staniel

itsjuststan: um sorry to bother u guys nvm

bigbill: stfu stan

bigbill: whatis it

itsjuststan: um…

itsjuststan: im not rlly comfortable talking abt it 

itsjuststan: sorry for bringing it up

mikey: good morning 

mikey: also hi stan hope ur issue gets resolved

itsjuststan: thanks mike

mikey: no problem at all :)

bigbill: ur not getting away with this stan

itsjuststan: ok bye

prettyinadress: k please feel better staniel

september 25th, 2019, 3:04pm  
number neighbors

prettyinadress: do any of u have tattoos?

mikey: yeah

bigbill: no not yet

bevvy: yup

itsjuststan: yeah

eddiek: absolutely 

eddiek: not.

prettyinadress: ok so what are they and why???

mikey: my parents name small on my back 

mikey: because theyre my parents

itsjuststan: ; wrist

bevvy: survivor across my shoulder

benny: u ok?

bevvy: yeah

bevvy: my dad was a dick

bevvy: id rather not talk about it

benny: also i do have a tattoo

benny: its a rose on the outside of my pinky

prettyinadress: k bc i want to get a tat but im not sure where or what

benny: maybe u should wait until u know exactlt what u want

mikey: yeah maybe thats best huh rich?

prettyinadress: but maybe idk im thinking something like this…

prettyinadress: tatt.jpg

bevvy: its pretty...but

bevvy: i mean but what does it mean to u

prettyinadress: personal

bevvy: k

itsjuststan: so eddie why dont u wanna get a tattoo

eddiek: well first of all

eddiek: allergic reactions to the dye could lead to a staph infection

eddiek: diseases such as hepatitis b, c and hiv

eddiek: the fda hasnt approved the use of the dyes underneath the skin

eddiek: they only should be used for external use 

prettyinadress: hepatitis b, c and hiv

prettyinadress: my new hit single

eddiek: oh fuck off 

september 26th 2019, 2:53am  
number neighbors

mikey: anyone else awake?

itsjuststan: bold of u to assume i was ever asleep

mikey: dont u have classes tomorrow or something?

itsjuststan: nope today/tomorrow are saturday and sunday

itsjuststan: u ok mike?

mikey: um yeah im fine

itsjuststan: yeah 

september 26th, 2019 3:45 pm  
number neighbors

prettyinadress: hey someone want to give me a new name?

prettyinadress: im not in a dress anymore so its kinda redundant

prettyinadress: any ideas u guys

benny: richieofcourse

bevvy: mydarlingrichie

bigbill: richierich

mikey: trashmouth-rich

itsjuststan: fucking-asshole

eddiek: -che

prettyinadress changed their name to -che 

-che: i love it 

eddiek: comeon i didnt think u would do it

-che: yeah well im a bitch

bigbill: u think we didnt kniow that

-che: lmao 

september 27th, 2019 7:31am  
number neighbors 

itsjuststan: who are ur favorite actors/comedians/celebretirs

-che: john mulaney

-che: why???

itsjuststan: bc i just realized i know next to nothing about u guys

eddiek: thats what i said in the beginning 

bevvy: gwenyth paltrow

bevvy: shes a goddess

-che: fucking understatement

bevvy: yeah i know there are no words for that beautiful goddess of a human being

bigbill: she did have some controversy abt the bras and breast cancer tho right?

bevvy: yeah but even goddesses make mistakes

bigbill: k well i like pete wentz

itsjuststan: me too

itsjuststan: im a big fan of zendaya

-che: yaaaaas me too

-che: shes a kweeeeen

bevvy: oh your that bitch

-che: yaaaas kween

eddiek: ohhhh damn now u all know

eddiek: not like i havent been telling u that for a while 

eddiek: nope i never warned u guys

itsjuststan: yeah and im the only one that listened to u eddie

eddiek: can i also freely say i have no favorite celebrety

eddiek: but from an objecyive standpoint

eddiek: tom holland is hot af

benny: i dont think thats objective i think its the gay

eddiek: yeah good point

mikey: everyone finds tom holland hot

-che: yeah 

mikey: idk i guess i like shemar moore 

benny: yeah hes cool

mikey: does a lotta cop shows tho

-che: more variety would be noice

benny: btw my favorite actor is grant gustin

-che: afshjhfhg h

-che: hes amazing

-che: im so gay for him

-che: liike sooooooooo gay

eddiek: yeah same

bevvy: im like so bi for him

bevvy: he sings too

itsjuststan: tho th eflash is eeeh

eddiek: yeah after season two it went downhill

bevvy: i still watched it but it was baaaaaad

-che: i know i watched it too

mikey: i havent seen it but ive heard it was bad

september 27th, 2019 2:55pm  
number neighbors

-che: favorite color

-che: go!!

benny: light blue

eddiek: orange 

eddiek: light orange

mikey: dark forest green

bevvy: purple 

bevvy: but a lilac purple

bigbill: pink but a light bubblegum 

-che: i didnt peg u as a pink guy

-che: especially bc it my favorite color

-che: but i like the more red pinks

bevvy: asdgfhhjrjnuyewg 

bevvy: i hate red

bevvy: fuck red

-che: ok

-che: how bout we never bring up red around bev ever again

benny: ok that makes sense

benny: we should make a petition

benny: i would sign it 

eddiek: yeah me tooo red kinda sucks

eddiek: but i do have some cute red shjorts id never be able to get rid of

bevvy: never wear them around me

eddiek: i wouldnt 

-che: nah he wouldnt

mikey: are u two sitting in ur dorm together texting from there

-che: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

eddiek: yes

eddiek: hes on the otherside of the room avoiding his homework for costume design 101

-che: i mean ur actually trying to do ur homework and getting annoyed everytime u get a notif for the chat

eddiek: u suck so much che

september 28th, 2019 1:53am   
number neighbors

bigbill: if u were to kill someone how would you do it

-che: gun to the face

-che: no id

-che: also maybe acid

-che: yeah no, acid

-che: i would use acid

eddiek: go to bed richie

bevvy: garrote and behead them  
bevvy: then use acid to dissolve the body

bigbill: probably asphyxiation

benny: axe id be an axe murderer

-che: yeah that sounds right

itsjuststan: probably something like poison

itsjuststan: cyanide

-che: well wbu mike???

mikey: idk maybe axe or knife

bevvy: wbu eddie??

-che: yeah wbu eds?

eddiek: drugs

eddiek: now can u all go to sleep pls

eddiek: ur lighting up my phone like crazy

-che: yeah sur ewhatever


	6. roommates and writing

september 29th 2019, 12:31pm  
number neighbors

-che changed the chats name to best friends forever

best friends forever

bevvy: wtf is this chats name tho

itsjuststan: idk richie seems to be under the impression were besties

-che: fuck wrong chat

-che changed the chat name to new friends 

new friends

-che: sorry

-che: i thought this was a different chat 

eddiek: i s2g if its our dm imma kill u 

september 29th 2019, 12:35pm  
eddiek--che

-che changed the chat name to best friends

eddiek: oh seriously -che

-che: lmao yeah thats what i ment to do 

eddiek: seriously u doof

-che: look eds we r roommates so basically we r bffs

eddiek: dont call me eds fucker

-che: awww eds u know u love it

eddiek: oh fuck off

september 29th 2019, 12:38pm  
new friends

bigbill: so are we just assuming eddie killed richie

itsjuststan: yes

-che: u just like anything that gets me killed

eddiek: yes we do

itsjuststan: eddie we r gonna be better friends then u and richie

eddiek: oh yes

eddiek: we will 

-che: bill theyre gonna kill me

-che: and eddie and i live in the same room

-che: :( 

-che: biiiiiiiiilllll im scared :(

bigbill: stan, eddie leave richie alone

bigbill: and richie

bigbill: this is just so u will shut the fuck up and stop whining

-che: i know :)

bevvy: maybe u should stop tolerating his whining

bigbill: ehhh maybe but richie is basically a child

-che: i resent that

-che: i am not a child

benny: im sorry richie but you do act like a 5 year old

bevvy: lmao ok so what do u guys think of ur roommates

bevvy: besides richie

bevvy: and eddie bc we know they like hanging around eachother

mikey: mike is cool

mikey: he spends a lot of time with his friends

mikey: so we dont spend a lot of time together

mikey: actually now that i think about it he looks a lot like you richie

benny: will is super nice: he also spends a lot of time out and any night hes in the dorm hes studying

benny: but hes super nice

itsjuststan: dustin is always out too 

itsjuststan: honestly i'm beginning to think he dosent like me 

itsjuststan: except u know hes actually nice

itsjuststan: he talks a lot too tho

itsjuststan: so hes basically benny or mike with a dash of richie

bigbill: lucas is cool

bigbill: idk if he goes anywhere i dont pay that much attention to him

bigbill: hes nice to hang out with

bigbill: we sometimes get lunch together

bevvy: bc max is out a lottttttt

-che: gurl shes cheating on u

bevvy: richie!!!!!!!

bevvy: we’re not dating

bevvy: nits just wierd that shes always gone

bevvy: because she gets her homework done and is almost never in 

bevvy: she never sleeps in the dorm and when she does its strange

eddiek: ok strange how??????

bevvy: well when she is here she only comes to get clothes then leaves

bevvy: and when sh stayes the night which is not often

bevvy: she dosent sleep she does homework or plays on her phone

itsjuststan: that sounds like someone with some type of depression or anxiety

bevvy: oh… yeah that makes sense

-che: or she has a s/o

bevvy: oh yea no that makes sense

bevvy: thanks guys 

bevvy: really thanks

-che: no problem

eddiek: can i just say that my roommate is a dick and i hate him

-che: same sentiment towards mine tho

eddiek: oh seriously richie fuck off

september 30th 2019, 1:53am   
new friends

bigbill: so um does anyone want tto see pictures of georgie and asterisk?

-che: if u ve got them

bevvy: please i need something cute right about now

bigbill: asteriskandthesmolhuman.jpg

bigbill: pleasedontlick.jpg

bigbill: comeondog.jpg

bigbill: georgieisacutie.jpg

bigbill: doginmudwithcutebby.jpg

bevvy: wow ur brother is cute

bigbill: yeah hes like 12 tho so hes getting into the teenager range

-che: teenagers are hell

-che: i should know i was one

eddiek: i was a sweetheart

eddiek: also bill the dog and your brother are cute

eddiek: but can you all go to bed

eddiek: honestly ive lost so much sleep because of this stupid group chat

-che: half of this gc is eds complaining abt how late we stay up

september 30th 2019, 10:39am  
new friends

benny: you guys ever realize were basically the breakfast club

-che: yeah i did

-che: wait does that make me the principal or whatever

-che: bc i brought you all together

bevvy: does that make me whoever molly ringwald played

bevvy: because i have red hair

itsjuststan: i stg if im the insane bitch 

-che: we all know u are staniel

itsjuststan: oh comeon richie u suck so bad

eddiek: wait so then who am i???????

-che: a bitch

eddiek: uuggghhh

eddiek: seriously che

-che: k fine youd probably be the emo dude jackass

eddiek: fair

-che: benny or mike would be brian

-che: and bill would be the jock

mikey: really

benny: seriously

-che: there are too many of us u two have to share

-che: plus im already the ‘principal’

bevvy: ok so im molly ringwald

benny: mike and i are brian whatever his last name is

mikey: yup

eddiek: im the emo jerkass

bigbill: and im the jock

bigbill: u know i think some part of this is wrong

bevvy: yeah

bevvy: richie is the jerkass emo and eddie is the hardass principal

-che: seriously tho i didnt think of that

eddiek: ok im cool with being a hard ass principal

bigbill: ok so that sus as the breakfast club

mikey: sorry i gtg go to class

mikey: bye guys 

mikey: this was a truely eye opening conversation

-che: do i sense sarcasm there mikey boi

mikey: bye richie

-che: wow throw some shade mike

itsjuststan: maybe leave him alone so he can pay attention in class

itsjuststan: just maybe

-che: ok staniel leave me alllooooonnnneeeeee

itsjuststan: never u bitch

-che: edddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddssssssssssssssssssss

-che: save me please

eddiek: stan maybe u should leave che alone

eddiek: but if you dont want to dont i dont care

itsjuststan: yeah i dont want to stop pissing off richie 

itsjuststan: also you have been banned from the we hate richie club

-che: there was a we hate richie club :(

eddiek: not that i knew of

itsjuststan: yeah no i just made it up 

itsjuststan: and we dont hate u richie i just was being abitch

itsjuststan: on the contrary i think ur one of my best friends in the chat

-che: ghjghkufgfrjiuijohjrhughkjyuygetyftgjkgi

-che: im cryonf 

eddiek: he is 

eddiek: i cant believe u made him cry stan

-che: fuck u staniel

-che: im crunf so mucj

itsjuststan: yeah well it wont happen again 

itsjuststan: i shall never say nice things about richie again

-che: is that a promids

itsjuststan: eddie is he still crying?

-che: nooookl

eddiek: yes

eddiek: well no hes teary eyed but he stopped full out crying

-che: u suck so much eds

eddiek: why do u always calll me that??

bevvy: yeah why??

-che: hey bev where were u when stan was saying nice things about me

bevvy: ignoring ur bitch ass

bevvy: so why do u call eddie eds

-che: ok so first of all im the only one allowed to call him eds

-che: because its copyrighted to me cause i made it

-che: so give him ur own nickname this ones taken

-che: second of all because i want too

eddiek: ok so can u stop its fucking pissing me off

eddiek: ive been ignoring it bc idk 

eddiek: so can u fucking stop

-che: and now i know it pisses u off so imma keep doing it

eddiek: oh no u dont u fucker

eddiek: he ran the fucker ran

bevvy: what????

bevvy: lmao

eddiek: he was ‘working’ at his desk and after he pressed send he took off out of the room and down the hall

eddiek: the mother fucker im following and imma killhim when i find the bitch

bevvy: omfg this is too funny

benny: noone on ur campus ids going to be concerned????

bevvy: eddie??? is anyone gonna be concerned whenn they see a tiny boi chasing a gangly boi around campus

itsjuststan: i think hes busy chasing richie

bevvy: i think so too

benny: lmao this is the most hilarious thing ever

mikey: so why did i just see a smol anger boy chasing a thin fluffy haired boi outside my class room

bevvy: scroll up

mikey: seriously!!!!!!!!

bevvy: yeah theyre dumbasses

itsjuststan: oh we know that

mikey: yeah but why would they run the 4 minutes to barnard

mikey: omfg are they fucking with me

-che: ghdfsguyvasju

mikey: wtf r u doing richie

mikey: u could get arressted

mikey: richie seriously

mikey: comeon ur disturbing classes at a school u dont go to

eddiek: library

mikey: wtf eddie??????????????

mikey: i just got out of class and il be there in a minute 

mikey: what the do u want man?

-che: food

-che: hurrry up were hungry

mikey: what???????

bevvy: ok this is the most interesting thing that has happened in the gc in forever

benny: the last most interseting thing was stans weird thing a few weeks ago

itsjusstan: i told u it was nothing get over it 

bigbill: any reason the gc is sooooooooo clogged up

bevvy: scroll up like a fuck ton and u ll see the shit eddie and richie did

bigbill: richie

bigbill: eddie

bigbill: whats going on???

-che: so after running half way to barnard i got hungry so i thought mike goes to barnard

-che: and maybe he would get us some food so i told eddie to text mik elibrary

-che: and so mike met us at the library and we went to get taco bell

-che: we are waiting on our tacos rn

bigbill: ok thats a little messed up richie

-che: i know 

-che; i didnt mean to go to mikes place

-che: i just didnt want eds to kill me

eddiek: fuck off richie

eddiek: stop calling me eds

bevvy: ok stop flirting u two

bevvy: and stop mooching off mikey

eddiek: ok eeeew

eddiek: gross not richie eeeeeeeeeeewww

-che: what does that mean

-che: im not gross

eddiek: do we need to have the clothes conversation again :)

eddiek: im ready and wiling to

mikey: u two ran all the way over here

mikey: just to bug me for food

mikey: and then u play on ur phones the whole times 

mikey: rood

-che: sorry

bevvy: have fun on u r date u three uwu

itsjuststan: yeah hope u three have fun 

october 1st 2019, 12:01am  
new friends

-che: happy halloween bitches

itsjuststan: yes halloween is the best holiday ever

bigbill: while that's true where's eddie complaining abt how late it is

-che: he turned off his phone to sleep bc he has a test tomorrow

bevvy: awww hes so cute uwu

bevvy: also happy hawwoween

itsjuststan: maybe i should take a page from eddies book 

itsjuststan: especially since i as well have a math test tomorrow

itsjuststan: good night everyone except richie

itsjuststan: richie go to bed

bevvy: wow since eddie isn't here stan is taking his spot and telling us to go to sleep

itsjuststan: i wasnt fucking joking 

itsjuststan: go to bed u dicks

-che: yes sir

bevvy: kinky

october 1st 2019, 3:28pm  
new friends

mikey: what are ur guys hawwoween plans?

eddiek: running as far away from richie as possible

itsjuststan: idk i'll probably study or smthing

bevvy: stan!!! 

bevvy: i refuse to let u do that to ur self

bevvy: and on hawwoween no less

-che: eds is wrong

-che: we r going to sit in front of the dorms and hand out candy

eddiek: yeah no ur gonna do that i'll probably go to bed or something

eddiek: and stop calling me that!!!!!

benny: ok then

benny: what is everyone going to go as for hawwoween??!!??

bevvy: imma be lydia deetz

bevvy changed their name to bevvverage

bevvverage: yes imma be the ghost queen

-che: boi i was gonna be beetlejuice

bevvverage: omfg yes imma do the wedding dress lydia 

bevvverage: or u could be wedding dress lydia and i could be beetlejuice

bevvverage : or some one else could be beetlejuice but u have to be wedding dress lydia deetz

bevvverage: please uwu

-che: omg yes 

-che: but i refuse to take the idea from u bev if u want to do it i won't stop u

bevverage: k then i guess i'll be lydia

-che: i can't wait to see who u ask to be ur beetlejuice ;)

-che: if u know what i mean

itsjuststan: i'm not going to be anything

bigbill: no stan

bigbill: u have to be something

bigbill: what about like idk something easy

-che: staniel u should be a cowboy

itsjuststan: no.

bigbill: imma be a cowboy

bigbill: what's wrong with cowboys?

itsjuststan: idk i'd just rather not be somthing gendered

bevvverage: k so then what abt an astronaut

itsjuststan: no imma be and old fashioned birdwatcher

-che: with the netted hats and the huge ass binoculars

itsjuststan: yeah

eddiek: richie has convinced mw to be a doctor

-che: and ive decided to be sexy bob ross

benny: lmaooooo 

benny: seriously 

bevvverage: actually???!!??!!!!

bigbill: omfg richie that's adwdhhjhgyiuhijnf

-che: has bill been sniped?

bigbill: no i just

bigbill: sexy bob ross???

bigbill: really richie

-che: yeah 

eddiek: its just because the sexy clown costume wouldnt get here until after halloween 

bevvverage: omg rich im dying

bevvverage: max is so confuded

eddiek: confuded

itsjuststan: confuded

mikey: confuded

benny: confuded

bigbill: confuded

-che: confuded

bevvverage: omg i ment confused

-che: yeah we got that bev 

mikey: i don't know what i'm gonna be yet

benny: me either

bevvverage-benny

bevvverage: do u want to be my beetlejuice?

benny: what?

bevvverage: beetlejuice

bevvverage: do u want to be beetlejuice for halloween and i'll be lydia deetz

benny: oh yeah sure

bevvverage: and then um do u then want to go to this party that max and her friends are having

benny: yeah sure are u gonna invite the others?

benny: or is this just me i shouldn't mention anything kind of thing

bevvverage: no imma invite them in the chat 

bevvverage: but i wanted u to know abt it before i asked them

benny: k well we should get back to the group chat lol

benny: before someone kills richie

october 1st 2019, 3:45pm   
new friends

bigbill: u know i still have nothing to do on halloween 

-che: yeah u can come over and sit on our dorm step with me and eds

eddiek: don't call me that

-che: i'll never stop :)

eddiek: oh fuck off trashmouth

bevvverage: hey do u guys want to go to a party with max’s friends

-che: yeah beats sitting on the porch handing out candy

eddiek: whatever

eddiek: not like i have anything better to do

bigbill: sure id love to go 

benny: i already said i would go but ill just confirm again here

itsjuststan: ill go 

itsjuststan: but only because i don't want to be alone on halloween

mikey: i can go too

mikey: i have no plans

bevvverage: cool

bevvverage: i'll tell max

bevvverage-zoommaxx

bevvverage: hey all my friends say they'd like to come to the halloween party

zoommaxx: oh yeah cool

zoommaxx: my friends also agreed to come

bevverage: so are we doing this at our dorm???

zoommaxx: i guess

zoommaxx: maybe my friend steve can get us access to his bar

bevvverage: your friend owns a bar???

zoommax : yeah he needs something to keep busy

bevvverage: um ok

bevvverage: let me know what ends up happening so i can let my friends know

october 1st 2019, 3:56pm 

bevverage: k so max has no idea where it's gonna be 

bevvverage: but she said she'll tell me when she finds out where it'll be

bigbill: cool

october 2nd 2019, 11:03am 

mikey: do any of u guys take english 2

bigbill: yeah i do why???

mikey: i need help with my assignment

bigbill: what is the assignment on???

mikey: creative writing

mikey: i have to write a short story in a genre of my choice

bigbill: what genre did u chose

mikey: horror

bigbill: really!?!?

mikey: yeah why?

bigbill: horror is my passion

bigbill: id love to help out

mikey: oh my gosh please help out

mikey: romance is my thing

mikey: i have no idea how to be scary

bigbill: yeah no problem i dlove to help 

bigbill: when is it due???

mikey: friday :(

mikey: its ok if u dont have time to help

bigbill: actually i dont have classes until 5 so i can go to u now if u have free now

mikey: yeah i dont have classes until later

bigbill: i can be there in like 30 minutes

-che: wow getting together 

-che: on a date????

mikey: shut up richie

-che: uwu never

bigbill-mikey

bigbill: hey im out on the front lawn

mikey: k ill be there in a minute

mikey: i got held up by my roommate mike

bigbill: honestly i still find that crazy

mikey: me too

new friends

-che: then have fun u 2

-che: uwu

bevvy: uwu their so cuwute

bigbill: i resent that

bigbill: also mike and i gtg

bigbill: bye 

-che: uwu?

bigbill: uwu


	7. Panic Attacks and New/Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *trigger warnings for panic attacks and mentions of emotional abuse*  
> Im not sure yet if I should tag it but if u think I should, let me know.

october 3 2019, 2:39am   
new friends

-che: im so fucking done

-che: so tired

-che: homework fucking sucks so much 

-che: i hate everything

eddiek: hes laying on his bed fucking shreaking

eddiek: can someone get him to shut the fuck up

bevvverage: please be quiet richie

bevvverage: i can hear it from here

bevvverage: its so high pitched

bevverage: all the dogs in the city are barking like crazy

-che: shut the fuck up beverly marsh

bevvverage: never.

-che: fine ive stopped

bevvverage: eddie???

eddiek: hes groaning and rolling around

eddiek: just fucking do ur homework when u get it

-che: where's the fun in that

bigbill: since ur keeping me up

bigbill: whats the homework

-che: math

-che: otherwise known as the scourge of all beings ever

bigbill: sorry im a dumb gay bitch and know nothing about math

itsjuststan: if i help u will u shut up???

-che: yes hell yes

-che: i need to turn this in tomorrow and im also a dumb gay bitch

itsjuststan: send me the google docs link

-che: k

-che-itsjuststan

-che: the link is http/mathfuckingsucksalways.googledocs

itsjuststan: yeah thats a true af statement

-che: k thanks sm staniel

-che:<3

itsjuststan: ofc

october 3 2019, 10:27am  
new friends

bevvverage: what happened with ur math shit

-che: i handed it in this morning

eddiek: u sure??

-che: 100%

itsjuststan: u better have bc im actually dead

-che: sorry uwu

itsjuststan: thats ok 

-che: uwu???

itsjuststan: no.

-che: uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu???????

itsjuststan: absolutely not

-che: uwu??? :’(

itsjuststan: u

itsjuststan: w

itsjuststan: u

-che: no thats not how its done

bevvverage: its uwu

itsjuststan: no. absolutely not.

-che: come on uwu

bevvverage: uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu 

itsjuststan: no. never.

-che: pls uwu

bigbill: uwu pls stan

-che: uwu stan???

itsjuststan: nope

bevvverage: uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu 

itsjuststan: you cant make me

eddiek: just do it

benny: uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu

mikey: just uwu stan it's not that hard uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu

itsjuststan: uwu

itsjuststan: now stop it just stop it

-che; he did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bevvverage: we received an uwu

benny: our prayers have been answered

itsjuststan: i regret everything

bevvverage: u cant take it back

bevvverage: uwu’s are forever

-che: bev’s right uwu’s are forever

october 3 2019, 3:17pm  
new friends

eddiek: so i have questions

bigbill: about?

bigbill: bc maybe i could help

benny: is everything ok?

eddiek: um so…

eddiek: are all parents assholes?

bigbill: no

bigbill:my parents are great, tho they do pay more attention to my brother than me

bigbill: but their sweet, in their own way

bevvverage: no.

bevvverage: my aunt is the sweetest and most courageous woman ive ever met

bevvverage: some parents are asshats tho

mikey: my parents were amazing

mikey: but my grandad is kind of a butt

benny: my parents are ok, but i don't see them often

-che: yeah all parents are assholes

bigbill: richie

bigbill: r u ok?

eddiek: he's hiding under his bed

eddiek: just fyi he asked me to tell u guys bc he doesn't want to

eddiek; no violation of privacy here

bevvverage: oh no i hope he's at least a little bit ok

eddiek: i think he's just stuck in his head

eddiek: i'll talk to him in a couple of minutes

mikey: give him my love

eddiek: ofc

bigbill: anyways what was that question abt????

eddiek: my mom called

eddiek: and tried to get me to go home

mikey: so how much should i hate her for that 

mikey: because i'm heading right into very

eddiek: maybe not very but much

mikey: that sucks so much

eddiek: yeah, she's always on my back and like keeps trying to get me to go home

eddiek: she babies me and like raised me telling me i was always sick

eddiek: like i grew up thinking i had asthma

eddiek: i had so many asthma attacks turns out they were gazebos

eddiek: *placebo

eddiek: and like i couldn't go out anywhere except school

eddiek: but she made me do shit for her like grocery shop

eddiek: she fucked me up so bad i cant use the shower until i deep clean it

eddiek: i just have no fucking words to descrbe her except

eddiek: a diabetic fatass who controlled my entire childhood and fucked me up to the point of no return

mikey: woah

mikey: eddie r u ok rn

-che: end of conversation.

october 4 2019, 1:10pm  
new friends

mikey: hey eddie u ok??

eddiek: ish

-che: yeah can we just not talk abt it

mikey: okey dokey

bevvverage: hey eddie if u need to talk i'm here 

bevvverage: also…….

bevvverage: respecttheroyalcattin.jpg

bevvverage: this is royal cattin

bevvverage:she is my life and soul and i love her so much uwu uwu

-che: omfg i love her so much

eddiek: she looks so soft

itsjuststan: that's the cutest thing i've ever seen

bigbill: well asterisk is cuter so :p

bevvverage: that's a lie

bevvverage: a big fat hairy lie

bevvverage: u asshole

bigbill: um… ok i dont think youve ever insulted me before

bevvverage: well then it's about damn time

-che: ooh wait billlllllll have i ever insulted u???

-che: u halfassed dunderbrained pussymuncher

bigbill: um

bigbill: i think u have

-che: k bc i make it my job to insult all my friends

bevvverage: uve never insulted me unu

-che: that's because ur a redhead

bevvverage: o.o

bevvverage: this is new

bevvverage: u are my new best friend

-che: sorry eds im abandoning u for beverly

eddiek: not that i mind

-che: you wound me   
-che: the hole in my heart is so large

-che: i'm in so much pain over here

eddiek: your in the library

eddiek: shut your up richie fucking tozier

-che: shut your up??

-che: also fuck off

-che: and i'm not actually that loud 

eddiek: hfdhjfdudfbewyuyugvgvyufyg

benny: um are you ok???

eddiek: the librarians assistant came over here, smacked richie on the head with her book and told him to shutt he fuck up

bevvverage: hahahahahahahaha omg thats so asdfghalkj

benny: that's the best thing i've heard since u two ran to mike's place

eddiek: that's because richie makes trouble wherever he goes

-che: you suck eds like so much

eddiek: stop calling me that 

eddiek: your the worst ever in the whole world

-che: i know

october 4 2019, 7:03pm  
new friends

mikey: how many times will mikes boyfriend come over and randomly yell mike and watch us look confused

-che: always bc that's the best thing ever  
-che: and also because i'm open to paying him 

bevvverage: that's so funny mike 

bevvverage: also should we make a gc with our roommates???

eddiek: my roommate is already in the gc

-che: yeah mine too, did i mention he's an ass

eddiek: really?

eddiek: i didn't know

bigbill: look at eddie, throwin shade 

bevvverage: yes our son is growing up so fast

mikey: ofc he is

mikey: remember when he used to curse every other word

mikey: but he grew up and is now a respectable young gentleman

eddiek: fuck u mike

mikey: *le gasp*

mikey: i am offended

eddiek: i would apologize but richie would make fun of me

-che: i so would not

eddiek: sorry mike unu

-che: good job eds also…

-che: mike is wholesome 

mikey: uwu thank u richie

bevvverage: that is so true but also ben

bevvverage: ben is wholesome af

benny: uwu thank u 

benny: i'd like to thank beverly who gave me this award

benny: and richie who started everything

benny: and mike bc he's nice

benny: and eddie bc idk

benny: and stan bc i dont want them to feel left out

benny: and bill bc he's cool and a good friend uwu

bigbill: awwwwwwww thank u bennnnn

itsjuststan: thanks ben that's really thoughtful

benny: oh sorry eddie and stan i just remembered

benny: and eddie for always making things fun in the gc

benny: and stan for always being there when i text at 5am

benny: many uwus to u stan uwuwuwuwuwuwu

-che: why does staniel get so many uwus

-che: i want uwus

benny: these uwus are for everyone

benny: uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu

bevvverage: thank u for the uwus ben 

itsjuststan: when were uwus invented/where?

benny: ummmmmm idk

mikey: japan

mikey: it was a way for schoolgirls to express themself

mikey: it was the beginning of the kawaii style

mikey: which means cute btw

mikey: it's actually kinda cool

-che: woah

-che: i didn't know that

eddiek: u dont know lots of things richie

-che: ur a jerk unu

-che: im crying in the club rn

mikey: what the fuck club r u at that ur texting us

-che: my favorite club

eddiek: he's under the bed again

-che: only bc u got us kicked out of the library

eddiek: me???!!!

eddiek: i got u kicked out of the library?!?!?!?!?!?

eddiek: u were the one screaming 

eddiek: that's…

eddiek: im banned from the library bc of u

eddiek: u absolute nitwitted dumbfuck who cant keep his stupid mouth shut in the fucking library

eddiek: i'm sorry i didn't mean to get that mad on the gc

eddiek: i'll just go now

benny: woah

bevvverage: mood

bigbill: um is eddie ok?

-che: imma go too

-che: disney movies and apologies are in order

bevvverage created these bitches gay  
bevvverage added itsjuststan, benny, bigbill, and mikey

bevvverage: so… these bitches gay

mikey: i assume were talking abt richie and eddie

bevvverage: yep

bevvverage: we r

itsjuststan: ok…

itsjuststan: so they flirt constantly and are super protective of each other

bigbill: and aside from today i dont think theyve seriously insulted each other before

mikey: yeah and it was an accident on eddies part

benny: and richie calls him eds and eddie calls him -che

mikey: when richie asked us for names he took eddies without question

bevvverage: omfg that's right

mikey: yeah and when we met irl richie helped eddie through a panic attack

benny: and now it seems to be a regular thing tho

bevvverage: yeah, which is interesting  
bevvverage: ;)

itsjuststan: yeppers

itsjuststan: but like also they are super close 

itsjuststan: and like know shit abt each other

benny: i know shit abt richie

itsjuststan: like…

benny: ummmmmmmmmm…

benny: he has brown hair

benny: and his nickname is trashmouth

bevvverage: thats not a lot 

bevvverage: really

itsjuststan: exactly

itsjuststan: we dont know much about either of them

itsjuststan: we only know about eddies mom bc he told us

bevvverage: and then when eddie got really emotional richie pulled him away

itsjuststan: yeah and same when richie got upset

bevvverage: yeah those two are so gay for eachother 

mikey: exactly

mikey: they r v gay for each other

october 5 2019, 7:10am  
new friends

-che: eds and i r good now

eddiek: stop calling me that

bevvverage: im glad u guys r ok

eddiek: yeah were fine

eddiek: can we not talk about it

itsjuststan: yeah sure

benny: hey i have a question

benny: so what r ur favorite disney movies

mikey: moana

mikey: shes so badass

-che: ooooof idfk

-che: their all so iconic

-che: tarzan or the hunchback of notre dame

benny: hunchback of notre dame is the best movie ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bevvverage: lilo and stich

bevvverage: nani is so fucking badass i love her

bigbill: i really like hercules

mikey: wbu eddie

eddiek: the sword in the stone

benny: omg these are the best movies ever

mikey: yeah lilo and stich is epic

bevvverage: nani is so fucking bitch ass protecting her sister like a badass

bigbill: yeah she only cared abt keeping lilo safe and thats super epic

benny: this is so great

benny: like u guys have the best movie ideas

october 6 2019, 2:38am  
new friends

-che: yo bitches

-che: waddup

eddiek: stop screeching

-che: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

bevvverage: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-che: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

bevvverage: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-che: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

itsjuststan: stop

itsjuststan: or take this crap somewhere else

-che-bevvverage

-che: wanna screech here so stan dosest kill me?

bevvverage: i mean not really

bevvverage: im just such an insomniac 

-che: bitch me too

-che: i cant sleep ever

bevvverage: yeah…

bevvverage changed the chat name to insomniac bitches

-che: lit

bevvverage: we can hang in here instead of fucking in the main chat

-che: yeah…

bevvverage: boi this sucks…

bevvverage: insomnia truely is a bitch

-che: u got that so right

bevvverage: like i have homework but i cant even figure out if i should take a shower or just ‘go to bed’

bevvverage: how am i supposed to do homework

-che: thats a fucking mood

-che: like im 500% sure i have add and cant fucking concentrate on anything ever

bevvverage: ?

-che: add

-che: attention deficit disorder

-che: it took all my brain cells to type that

-che: be proud of me

bevvverage: oh huh

bevvverage: imma go do late night research™

-che: u dont have to tho

bevvverage: but i want to 

bevvverage: so suck it bitch 

-che: :’)

-che: im crying thats so nice

-che: people dont usually do nice things for me bc they want to

bevvverage: well i will bitch

bevvverage: bc im the best friend ever 

-che: u sure as hell are

-che: *sending hugs*

bevvverage: *receiving and sending hugs*

october 6 2019, 10:23am  
new friends

bigbill: ok so are we gonna make a gc with our roommates?

itsjuststan: sure whatever

bevvverage: yeah

-che: my room mate is in the gc already

eddiek: fuck u richie

-che: ok but later im in class

eddiek: what the fuck

eddiek: stop

eddiek: fuck u no.

bevvverage: omg what?

bevvverage: this is gold af

mikey: ahahahaha thats funny 

mikey: omg goldaf

benny: yeah we should do that

-che: who wants to make it?

bevvverage: i'll start it but u guys have to add ur roommates

bevvverage created roommates bitch

bevvverage added bigbill, benny, -che, eddiek, mikey, itsjuststan, and madmax

bigbill added georgelucas

itsjuststan added dustybun

mikey added mike&ike

benny added will

mike&ike: what????

madmax: wait mike????

madmax: i'm confused

georgelucas: max?

georgelucas: dusty?

dustybun: wait…….. what?

bevvverage: yeah… um we wanted to make a gc with our roommates?

bevvverage: but i guess u all know each other?

-che: well my roommate is a bitch

eddiek: yeah u suck too

-che: well u suck more

eddiek: well… i dont know either

bevvverage: u guys are ridiculous

bevvverage: also how do u guys know each other

will: um mike(&ike) is my boyfriend

madmax: and lucas and i r ex’s

dustybun: and lucas and i r dating now

dustybun: also we've been friends since middle school

madmax: hey can i add el?

mikey: who?

madmax: oh she's my gf and mike&ike’s ex gf and i think she dated will too while he was confused but she's also will’s step-sister

bigbill: sure… is she also part of ur friend group?

georgelucas: yeah she's pretty epic

madmax added el-enormycousin

el-enormycousin: um what

el-enormycousin: max wtf is this

madmax: so our roommates all know each other and made a gc with us in it to like introduce us except… we know each other

el-enormycousin: oh huh… so who is everyone??

bigbill: bill… lucas’ room mate

mikey: um im mike's roommate

benny: wills roommate ben

-che: im richie 

eddiek: richies my roommate and he sucks 

eddiek: also im eddie

bevvverage: max is my roommate im beverly

el-enormycousin: oh cool max talks about you sometimes

dustybun: hey so eddie and richie r roommates

dustybun: lucas’ roommate is bill

dustybun: and beverly is max’s roommate

dustybun: ben is will’s roommate and mike is mike’s roommate (this is confusing)

dustybun: and stan is my roommate but their in class and hate everything so their not here rn

itsjuststan: i dont hate everything

itsjuststan: just richie

-che: u know u love me uwu

itsjuststan: no.

itsjuststan: u suck

-che: uwu staniel uwu

itsjuststan: don't call me that

-che: staniel

madmax: that is the weirdest friendship ever

itsjuststan: i know

-che: yeah we know

mike&ike: also yo max where are my blue converse?????

madmax: why tf do u think i know where they are

el-enormycousin: their in her closet

el-enormycousin: she took them like a week ago

madmax: no stop el honey no

mike&ike: no my shoes 

mike&ike: i'm so sorry 

mike&ike: max’s feet are disgusting

madmax: mike fucking stop 

madmax: ur feet are 10000000x more disgusting

mike&ike: shut the fuck up maxine

madmax: dont fucking call me that

bigbill: i mean its a nice name

dustybun: im adding nancy and robin and steve

madmax: if u do that i'm adding billy

el-enormycousin: please add billy

el-enormycousin: i love billy he's epic

el-enormycousin: hes basically my brother at this point

el-enormycousin: if u dont add him i will

dustybun: um no billy kinda sucks

el-enormycousin: fuck you so fucking much

el-enormycousin: billy is fucking amazing

el-enormycousin added billythedad, stevethemom, robinthewineaunt, and nancywhatsherface

stevethemom: dustin???? el???

robinthewineaunt: steve your kids are being idiots again

billythedad: aren't they always

bigbill: um…

-che: what the fuck?

-che: who the fuck are those guys?

-che: what the actual fuck

eddiek: richie stop being a dick

-che: have u ever met me?

-che: like ever

bevvverage: richie is a dick

bevvverage: like all the time

itsjuststan: those r the facts

nancywhatsherface: wtf i did not ask for whatever this is 

-che: shut the fuck up staniel, ur not my mom

itsjuststan: if i was u wouldn't be such a disrespectful bitch

-che changed their name to disrespectfulbitch

disrespectfulbitch: ha fuckin beat that

stevethemom: what?

nancywhatsherface: i like the disrespectful bitch

nancywhatsherface: ur funny

nancywhatsherface: mike i'm trading you for whoever that guy/gal/whatever is

mike&ike: nancy u cant

nancywhatsherface: yeah ok

nancywhatsherface: but i'm gonna bitch

stevethemom: ok who's who?

robinthewineaunt: scroll up doofus

robinthewineaunt: actually ur all doofus’

robinthewineaunt: also steve can u watch mr. dr. fucknutt while i go to the store

stevethemom: ur literally sitting two feet away

stevethemom: just ask

robinthewineaunt: too much work

disrespectfulbitch: who/what is mr. dr. fucknutt??

billythedad: its what steve named our hamster

dustybun: really why would you do that

stevethemom: bc i'm 20smthing and i don't want her to have a “normal” name

georgelucas: i can hear dustin shrieking from here

dustybun: i'm not that loud

will: but u do admit u were shrieking tho

dustybun: fuck all of u u suck

bigbill: :(

benny: what has this become

benny: i went to get a sandwich and i came back and this exists???

disrespectfulbitch: yes


	8. Where Richie and Mike W are probably twins

october 6 2019, 3:30pm  
new friends

disrespectfulbitch: its nice to know all our roommates know eachother

bevvverage: except eddie

bevvverage: where is he anyways?

disrespectful bitch: he has classes until 4

mikey: what abt lunch?

benny: he was texting me uwu

bevvverage: ????

disrespectfulbitch: *le gaspe*

disrespectfulbitch: how dare he not tell me important things

disrespectfulbitch: eds

disrespectfulbitch: my love

disrespectfulbitch: light of my life

bevvverage: this is gold

mikey: @eddiek come get your mans

eddiek: im ni claass 

eddiek: stio ir

bigbill: stio ir???

bevvverage: under the desk texting

bevvverage: im a queen at that

disrespectfulbitch: your a queen in general bev

benny: 2nd ed

mikey: 3rd ed

bigbill: 4thed

itsjuststan: 5th’d

eddiek: 6tjed

disrespectfulbitch: seems we all agree

disrespectfulbitch: and whatever eds said

eddiek: no

eddiek: bad name

eddiek: no e*s 

eddiek: bad richie

bevvverage: eddies in class texting is golden

mikey: we should text more when eddie is in class

benny: im sorry eddie but its prime entertainment

itsjuststan: im not sorry 

itsjuststan: this is hilarious eddie

itsjuststan: your suffering brings me joy

bigbill: stan is a daemon confirmed

itsjuststan: dont tell anyone

bevvverage: ayyyyyyy

benny: omg stan

mikey: wow

disrespectfulbitch: i fucking called it bitches

disrespectfulbitch: i am the lord of the future

disrespectfulbitch: i know all and see all

disrespectfulbitch: bitches

bevvverage: ok

mikey: u never called it???

benny: yeah i dont remember that

disrespectfulbitch: eds tell them i called it

eddiek: if your arop calling me thst

disrespectfulbitch: ok sorry eddie

eddiek: he did clall it

bevvverage: when bitch

itsjuststan: no you didn't 

disrespectfulbitch: it was late one night

eddiek: it was like 1:30 pm

disrespectfulbitch: i was in the middle of a deeeeeep ponder

eddiek: he was trying to figure out how many holes a straw has

disrespectfulbitch: and then it hit me we have a place full of vast and infinite knowledge at our very fingertips

eddiek: and then he remembered that he could look it up

disrespectfulbitch: so i did and the answer was inconclusive

disrespectfulbitch: so i decided to ask a wise and knowledgeable sage

eddiek: so he texted stan

disrespectfulbitch: and they answered me in wise and sacred speech

eddiek: and stan answered in science terms

disrespectfulbitch: and thus i stated

disrespectfulbitch: he must be some sort of hell-beast to have such infinite knowledge that the vast internet being does not

eddiek: and so he said

eddiek: what the fuck theyve gotta be some soort of deamon or something bc the internet didnt know that shit

mikey: rofl

bevvverage: eddie’s interpretations made it a hell of a lot funnier

benny: this is better than eddie’s keyboard smashes masquerading as words

itsjuststan: ok so i do remember that

itsjuststan: yeah i guess richie called it

disrespectfulbitch: i said so 

disrespectfulbitch: none of you believed me

disrespectfulbitch: roooooood

eddiek: i wouldnt have believed you if i wasnt there

itsjuststan: i… cannot believe you called it

itsjuststan: it was my one closely gaurded secret 

itsjuststan: and u called it

itsjuststan: now thats rude

disrespectfulbitch: wow ok sorry staniel

disrespectfulbitch: i apoplogize

itsjuststan: what the fuck is that word ????????

disrespectfulbitch: a pop logize

disrespectfulbitch: i apologize… in song!!!!

itsjuststan: im so sorry i asked

bevvvergae: no i wanna see this

benny: it kinda seems sweet

benny: in a richie way

disrespectfulbitch: is it too late to apologize???

disrespectfulbitch: too late????

disrespectfulbitch: i said is it too late to apologize

disrespectfulbitch: too late?????

itsjuststan: i regret everything leading up to this moment

benny: so u regret being our friend :’’’’’’’’(

bevvverage: there u go u made ben cry :(

itsjuststan: sorry ben 

itsjuststan: i dont really regret it

itsjuststan: i just sort of regret getting involved in this particular conversation

benny: thats ok stan

benny: i was joking anyway

itsjuststan: ok 

disrespectfulbitch - itsjuststan

disrespectfulbitch: do u regret being friends with me?

itsjuststan: wtf no

itsjuststan: richie it was a joke

itsjuststan: i would never in a million years regret being your friend

disrespectfulbitch: ok sorry

disrespectfulbitch: its just i know im annoying 

disrespectfulbitch: and that a lot of people dont like me

disrespectfulbitch: and i know at least two of you are bound to not like me

itsjuststan: i say this is the nicest way but

itsjuststan: bullshit

itsjuststan: everyone in the gc loves you

itsjuststan: we are all your friends and we love hanging out with you and we love your weird 3am texts

disrespectfulbitch: really?

itsjuststan: of course

itsjuststan: im not that good with people or words

itsjuststan: but i ment everything i said

disrespectfulbitch: ok

disrespectfulbitch: sorry for gatting all sad vibes in this chillis

disrespectfulbitch: uwu

disrespectfulbitch: love u too staniel

itsjuststan: <<<<<<<<<<

itsjuststan: its just stan

itsjuststan: love u too i guess richie

new friends

bevvverage: so where do u think richie and stan went?

eddiek: somewhere else

benny: oh are u out of class?

eddiek: yeah im almost to our dorm

bevvverage: is richie there?

eddiek: yeah until 5 then he is going for a job interview

benny: where?

eddiek: fucking campus coffeeshop

bigbill: that sounds like a moderate amount of fun

bevvverage: i saw that billlllll

bevvverage: and ur right he does ;)

eddiek: saw what???

mikey: the less u know the better 

bevvverage: smol one

eddiek: anyway why did u ask bev?

disrespectfulbitch: im back losers

disrespectfulbitch changed the groupchat name to losers

losers

disrespectfulbitch: like it???

bevvverage: sort of

bigbill: feels like its missing something

benny: club?

itsjuststan: what?

benny: losers club?

disrespectfulbitch: i 

disrespectfulbitch: love it 

disrespectfulbitch: benny your a wonderful genius

bevvverage: i'll change it

bevvverage has changed the group chat name to losers club

losers club

disrespectfulbitch: i love it

disrespectfulbitch: thank u ben

bigbill: guess who got an update on his brothers doggie

bevvverage: show me doggie

eddiek: asterisk !!!!!!!!

bevvverage: though idc what pics uve got royal cattin is cuter

itsjuststan: i hate the fact that cuter is actually a real word

disrespectfulbitch: lmao suck it stan!!!

eddiek: just show us the aminals!!!!!

bigbill: asteriskatthepark.jpg

bigbill: asteriskwithgeorgieatthepark.jpg

bigbill: whywouldyoudothis???.jpg

bigbill: momplsno.jpg

bevvverage: herhighness.jpg

bevvverage: mycattinqueen.jpg

bevvverage: whyareurunning???.jpg

disrespectfulbitch: these photo names give me life

disrespectfulbitch: also bill wtf was that last picture???

mikey: i want to know toooo

bigbill: my mom decided to take pics with asterisk and georgie

bigbill: but asterisk doesn't like being held so it turned out like that

disrespectfulbitch: its so fucking blurry wtf even happened

bigbill: asterisk just jumped out of his arms

eddiek: but like yall sleepin on royal cattin

mikey: bev shes so cute

bevvverage: i know shes my bby

disrespectfulbitch: i hate that i have to go to workkkkkkk

benny: have fun richie!!!

disrespectfulbitch: i willl thanks bennnnn

itsjuststan: bye richie

disrespectfulbitch: bye stannnnnnnn love u 

itsjuststan: i guess i love u too or whatever

bevvverage-eddiek

bevvverage: r u ok???

eddiek: what?

bevvverage: with richie and stan???

eddiek: why would i not be ok with them?

bevvverage: well i just thought u liked richie

eddiek: what the fuck how did u know that????

bevvverage: im intuitive and also ur not that stealthy

eddiek: ok… then ur getting my early morning omg richies adorable texts

bevvverage: but like boi

bevvverage: what r u feeling rn with richie and stan

eddiek: idk im not like too jealous

eddiek: like i feel like i should be but im not

bevvverage: but like what r u feeling then?

eddiek: idk like rich and stan are allowed to love eachother but also i think they might have been joking

eddiek: but like idk

eddiek: but also like im sort of jelly of richie bc how did he get so close to stan

eddiek: like why doesnt stan talk to me???

bevvverage: wow

bevvverage: ok thats a lot of feelings

eddiek: yeah im smol but i have feeeeeeeelings

bevvverage: wow ok thats awesome

eddiek: but like idk what the fuck is going on in my brain

bevvverage: well i cant explain it to u

eddiek: thats ok i dont expect u too

eddiek: i think i might like stan too

bevvverage: ok 

bevvverage: we stan one (1) eddie k

eddiek: thank u bev

eddiek: i stan u toooooo

bevvverage:<3

october 7th 2019, 10:25am  
roommates bitch

el-enormycousin: hi everyone

disrespectfulbitch: hello whats going on?

madmax: hey elllll 

mike&ike: hey el, max and disrespectfulbitch

disrespectfulbitch: its richie

disrespectfulbitch: but hiiii everyone

will: hey everybody

bevvverage: yo whats up beaches

madmax: the fact that i could hear u laughing while writing that is peak

el-enormycousin: lol, im sad i dont go to school with any of u 

disrespectfulbitch: which school do u go to???

el-enormycousin: i go to columbia 

eddiek: omfg so do richie and i

disrespectfulbitch: we are meeting up for lunch

disrespectfulbitch: ur not allowed to say no

el-enormycousin: ok where do u want to eat?

mike&ike: am i the only one who thinks this might be a bad idea?

dustybun: not really i mean new friends am i rite?

georgelucas: i think it might be chaotic from what i know abt richie and eddie

bigbill: i mean i dont know el(enor???) but she seems chill so i think it will be ok

stevethemom: i stg el if u get urself killed i will kill u again

el-enormycousin: i wont get killed richie sounds like a lovely person

el-enormycousin: and eddie sounds very similar to me haha

stevethemom: ok...if either of u hurt her i will murder her

disrespectfulbitch: ok...i see why hes called a mom

robinthewineaunt: yeah he moms everyone

dustybun: hes basically my mom

mike&ike: and mine

madmax: bc hes basically married to my brother hes like my mom

georgelucas: i hate that hes my mom too

will: steve is such a mom to all of us

bigbill: thats actually sort of funny

disrespectfulbitch: promise i wont kill ur daughter

eddiek: neither will i 

stevethemom: shes not my daughter...i think

el-enormycousin: your so my mom

bevvverage: this is weird

bevvverage: how much older than u guys is steve???

robinthewineaunt: like he was in 11th grade

robinthewineaunt: and they were in like 7th grade lmao

nancywhatshername: yeah so hes like 4 years

bigbill: ok… so its almost lunch so where are u guys meeting???

el-enormycousin: we could do the cafeteria or the pizza hut down the road

disrespectfulbitch: fucking pizza hut is my jam

el-enormycousin: ok cool, we can meet at 11:30?

eddiek: im free then

disrespectfulbitch: me too 

disrespectfulbitch: lit see u then

eddiek: this is gonna be so fun..

disrespectfulbitch: i cant wait!!!

el-enormycousin: me either!!!

benny: so is everyone else in class???

madmax: bev and i are

mikey: i am 

eddiek: im not 

bigbill: ofc

bigbill: ur texting when ur in class is peak entertainment

eddiek: stop no its not

disrespectfulbitch: yes eds it really is

disrespectfulbitch: but el we should run over to mike’s college and freak him tf out

el-enormycousin: ????

disrespectfulbitch: we did that a bit ago

eddiek: it was kind of awesome

eddiek: he took us for food after 

eddiek: it was super fun

el-enormycousin: ooh other mike sounds fun!!!

mikey: id like to think i am 

itsjuststan: you are

bevvverage: you are

stevethemom: you do seem super nice and fun

disrespectfulbitch: you so are

bigbill: you are

benny: you are, mike!!!!!!!!

mike&ike: you are like literally the best roommate ever

mike&ike: like actually the best

el-enormycousin: i cant wait to meet you!!!!

mikey: me either!!!!

disrespectfulbitch: mike and el(enor) being wholesome is my life

bevvverage: you guys are actually adorable

georgelucas: but like did el introduce herself???

eddiek: i dont think so

itsjuststan: i would love to hear it tho

disrespectfulbitch: stan how are u so nice to el(enor) and a rude ass bitch to me

itsjuststan: bc el(enor) is awesome and u suck

disrespectfulbitch: rood

el-enormycousin: ok but like my name is el

el-enormycousin: i mean technically its jane

el-enormycousin: but once when i had to sneak into mike’s school 

el-enormycousin; he told his teacher i was his cousin elenor from switzerland

el-enormycousin: or something like that

mike&ike: it was very stressful ok

will: much stress

dustybun: you weren't even there!!!

will; yeah fair point

madmax: but yeah her name is el or jane

madmax: but mostly el

disrespectfulbitch: ok but like is el short for anything?

madmax: ok but like if u guys are going to meet up at noon u might want to go now

stevethemom: nancy and i gtg but billy and robin will supervise

billythedad: tbh i forgot this was a thing 

robinthewineaunt: why do u think billy and i are more mature or smthing

robinthewineaunt: bc were not 

robinthewineaunt: were really not at all

stevethemom: do u think i care

nancywhatsherface: just make sure noone dies

disrespectfulbitch: how fucking dare el be so sweet

disrespectfulbitch: like what the fuck

el-enormycousin: awwww richie your also very nice

eddiek: el… your very sweet

eddiek: but he is incredibly annoying ill give him that

disrespectfulbitch: i try

el-enormycousin: but like tbh richie looks just like mike

el-enormycousin: like its weird

el-enormycousin: if mike got glasses he would be richie

disrespectfulbitch: im funnier tho

mike&ike: probably tho

disrespectfulbitch: wait no…

disrespectfulbitch: im the only one allowed to be self deprecating

disrespectfulbitch: stop it 

bevvverage: richie stop 

bevvverage: no self deprecation in this chillis

bigbill: richie your wonderful

bigbill: also el pls how similar are richie and mike???

el-enormycousin: like very

el-enormycousin: visually

el-enormycousin: but different personality wise

mikey; u know i sort of got that

mikey: but i sort of thought u both knew abt the other bc u look like twins

disrespectfulbitch: wtf

disrespectfulbitch: wouldnt be surprised tho

mike&ike: nancy?!?!?!?!

nancywhatsherface: i dont actually know

nancywhatsherface: i dont remember karen being pregnant with you

nancywhatsherface: but also i was like really little

nancywhatsherface: but you should ask her

mike&ike: k

disrespectfulbitch: i would really not be surprised if my mom just forgot i was adopted

bevvverage: im going over there to give u a hugggggg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit longer than usual... I think.
> 
> ALSO, this is up to 100 pages on my google docs which is really fricking exciting!!!!!
> 
> I hope everyone is safe during this stressful time and that you guys are staying inside and doing your part to flatten the curve!
> 
> Much love,  
> Sammipheonex


	9. Triplets, Trauma, and Photos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly in that order.

october 8th 2019, 1:50pm  
roommates bitch

bigbill: so um… 

bigbill: idk how to say this but 

georgelucas: what???

bigbill: um @richie and mike were either of u hanging in central park today???

disrespectfulbitch: i wasn't?

mike&ike: no i was with will

bigbill: ok bc i totally saw someone that looked just like you

bigbill: are we willing to make the twins theory a triplets theory

disrespectfulbitch: sure

mike&ike: i was gonna talk to karen later this week but maybe ill move that up to right now

disrespectfulbitch: karen???

nancywhatsherface: our mom

nancywhatsherface: her name is karen

disrespectfulbitch: her name is karen???

disrespectfulbitch: is she friends with the manager???

nancywhatsherface: considering will’s mom is the manager of the town general store

nancywhatsherface: yeah shes friends with the manager

will: yeah, sorry mike, your mom is a very stereotypical karen

mike&ike: yeah i know that

bigbill: if your ok with me asking why do u call her karen?

nancywhatsherface: bc thats her name

mike&ike: i think he means like why we dont call her mom

nancywhatsherface: ohhhhhhh

nancywhatsherface: bc she never asked us to

disrespectfulbitch: but like its the same with maggie

eddiek: can we not talk abt parents?

disrespectfulbitch: ok 

disrespectfulbitch: if u had a million dollars what would you do with it

eddiek: what the fuck richie

disrespectfulbitch: idk i needed to stop talking abt parents

itsjuststan: pay off my college loans

bevvverage: hah i dont have those

bevvverage: i would…

bevvverage: probably buy my aunt a house and like some nice shit 

georgelucas: ok but like id probably pay off my college loans and pay my sister through college

robinthewineaunt: yes erica i love erica

georgelucas: why are you friends with my sister

georgelucas: thats weird

robinthewineaunt: america wouldnt exist without erica

georgelucas: shes got u saying her thing??!?!?!?!!?!!?

georgelucas: eeeew

stevethemom: erica is awesome

stevethemom: shes #2 on my list of favourite kids

dustybun: your not supposed to have favourites

billythedad: but we do

billythedad: mine is maxine

stevethemom: billy were not supposed to tell them who it is

billythedad: whoops

robinthewineaunt: mine is erica

dustybun: steve who is yours???

stevethemom: not telling

stevethemom: the cardinal rule of momdom

itsjuststan: so u adults gonna do anything with your million dollars

stevethemom: probably like pay off student loans and then buy my house back from my dad

billythedad: i would pay my dad to run away

robinthewineaunt: lmao billy i bet steve would do that for you

robinthewineaunt: but with the money like, loans and then a house, maybe a business if i feel so inclined

nancywhatsherface: student loans then idk probably something else

dustybun: i would probably do the loans thing then like buy a million little houses and sell them for like 7 bucks

el-enormycousin; thats actually a good idea dustin

el-enormycousin: student loans then help mom and dad build their new house

will: same ^

bigbill: i would probably pay student loans then get a prosthetic for my brother

mikey: i would do loans then help my grandparents with their farm

eddiek: i would pay off loans then get an apartment and save the rest for like travelling

itsjuststan: you all think 1000000 is a lot more than it actually is

disrespectfulbitch: but really staniel what would u do?

itsjuststan: probably pay off student loans then put the rest into funds for food and bills for during the next four years

disrespectfulbitch: ok… how dare you be so realistic

disrespectfulbitch: i would do that loans thing and like also use it to become a famous comedian so i can make my own million dollars instead of being given a million dollars by some deity

madmax: i would do the student loans thing then maybe buy a fast car and an apartment

disrespectfulbitch: this has been fun, where is benny tho???

benny: im here, sorry i was just doing the homework thing

benny: i would pay my student loans then probably like give the rest to my mom

bigbill: cool, is that everyone?

itsjuststan: yeah i think so

el-enormycousin: that was fun!

disrespectfulbitch: how are you so wholesome

stevethemom: tbh i have asked that forever and never got an answer

disrespectfulbitch: should we do another one?

stevethemom: no

disrespectfulbitch: ok

madmax: so what are we gonna do

eddiek: idk

nancywhatsherface: idk either should we just abandon ship

itsjuststan: yes

disrespectfulbitch: no we will not jump ship

eddiek: k so again, what are we gonna do?

bevvverage: idfk… like maybe pics of us so the others know???

disrespectfulbitch: that has sounds like fun

disrespectfulbitch: but im an ugly bitch so someone else has to go first

eddiek: thats a lie

eddiek: your so not ugly

madmax: considering you look like mike...

madmax: im sure you are the more attractive twin/triplet

disrespectfulbitch: omfg thats the nicest things anyone has ever said to meeeeeee :’)

disrespectfulbitch: except when eddie said i was ‘as nice as warm, out of the dryer, socks’

mike&ike: maxxxxxx u suck

stevethemom: i think this is a smart idea

stevethemom: ill go first if u want 

will: that sounds nice

bigbill: i think thats smart

stevethemom: k ill go first

stevethemom: selfie#239.jpg

disrespectfulbitch: you are a lot younger than i expected lmao

dustybun: wait was that one from last summer???

stevethemom: duh

stevethemom: i dont work at scoops anymore

dustybun: right

dustybun: sellfe#72.jpg

madmax: why am i there?

georgelucas: i am in this picture and i did not consent

dustybun: look i tripped, and i think its funny

disrespectfulbitch: bc it is funny

bevvverage: your hair is really really curly like is that allowed?

bevvverage: bestgirl/royalcattin.jpg

benny: royal cattin is so cute like how is that allowed

madmax: tbh shes kinda snooty

will: u never told us u have a kitten!!!!!

el-enormycousin: max told me… i went to visit and royal cattin is my child

bevvverage: she can be our child, max ur mom #3

el-enormycousin: maxxxxx<3.jpg

madmax: bby ur so cute

el-enormycousin: <3

bevvverage: ok… el ur super adorable

disrespectfulbitch: i know right lmao shes adorbs

eddiek: sorry everyone el is officially the cutest

mikey: smellfie.jpg

benny: like ive meet u but like how dare u be so cute

benny: melmao.jpg 

georgelucas: i…

bevvverage: benny ur so cuwute

itsjuststan: you're adorable

mike&ike: pic-uwu-t-uwu-re.jpg 

disrespectfulbitch: attack of the body snatchers

mike&ike: wait so do u really look like me???

disrespectfulbitch: meandedsuwu.jpg

eddiek: when did u take this

eddiek: i was watching u the whole time and u didnt have ur phone?????

bevvverage-eddiek

bevvverage: u were watching him the whole time???

bevvverage: uwu?

roommates bitch

will: but like u look like mike how???

nancywhatsherface: we r gonna talk to karen tomorrow lol

nancywhatsherface: howtobeatabitch.jpg 

robinthewineaunt: bitch u cute

robinthewineaunt: if u werent with jon i would tap that

stevethemom: robin stop that

robinthewineaunt: bitchwhatthefuck.jpg 

bevvverage: wow if u werent old i would probably tap that thoooo

robinthewineaunt: i am uncomfortable

bevvverage-robinthewineaunt

bevvverage: i didnt mean to make u uncomfy it just seemed a bit awkward im sorry

robinthewineaunt: thats alright i dont mind

robinthewineaunt: as long as it was a joke

bevvverage: it was a joke

bevvverage: k we should go back to the main chat

robinthewineaunt: k see u there

roommates bitch

will: i guess ill go next

will: uwuplease.jpg 

mike&ike: uwu <3 u 

will: uwu <3

bigbill: ill go next

bigbill: georgieandme<3.jpg 

mikey: how dare your brother be so cute

billythedad: ihatethis.jpg

madmax: love u too billy

stevethemom: love u to billy

dustybun: yeah whatever billy

mike&ike: who hasnt gone???

will: um… max’s picture was with el’s and eddie’s was with richie’s so just stan i think… and lucas

georgelucas: ihateericathanks.jpg 

disrespectfulbitch: wait so is erica ur sister?

georgelucas: yep

disrespectfulbitch: huh

disrespectfulbitch: ok so its just @staniel

itsjuststan: fuckyourichie.jpg 

disrespectfulbitch: why is ur hair so flurffy

itsjuststan: can we be done

bigbill: how dare u be so cuteeeeeee

dustybun: watch steve adopt u 

stevethemom: im not gonna!!!

stevethemom-itsjuststan

stevethemom: but if u want me too i will

Itsjuststan: Actually I might just want that

Stevethemom: ok then, text me here if u want to talk

roommates bitch

itsjuststan: ok are we done yet???

dustybun; well thats everyone

nancywhatsherface: so richie me and mike r gonna talk to karen tomorrow do u want a live play by play?

disrespectfulbitch: um… sure?

disrespectfulbitch: i guess… if its gonna be amusing

disrespectfulbitch: if not then not really, i just wanna know what the answer ends up being

mike&ike: yeah it will probably be vaguely funny

mike&ike: in a weird way

disrespectfulbitch: k 

october 8th 2019, 1:21pm

roommates bitch

disrespectfulbitch changed the group name to wakawaka

will: is that shakira?

will: or like fozzie bear???

disrespectfulbitch: well it was fozzie bear but now its shakira

eddiek: yes we r watching old school muppets on a sunday afternoon  
eddiek: no we do not take constructive criticism

bevvverage: oh i was just about to ask about constructive criticism

eddiek: we dont want any thanks 

bevvverage: yeah got that

disrespectfulbitch: so um… where/when is the meeting with karen

mike&ike: its gonna start in a few minutes and its over the phone bc shes at home in indiana

disrespectfulbitch: k im not gonna bother talking to my mom bc i wont get anything from her

mike&ike: k well u might as well try

mike&ike: unless u cant thats cool

disrespectfulbitch: thats ok

nancywhatsherface: ok so i just connected mike to the call 

nancywhatsherface: he just flat out asked omg 

nancywhatsherface: ‘was i adopted.’

disrespectfulbitch: and?

nancywhatsherface: she says ‘why do u ask mike?’

nancywhatsherface:’just tell me’

bevvverage: oh wow this is getting spoicy quick

nancywhatsherface: omfg

nancywhatsherface: what the literal fuckity fuck

nancywhatsherface: motherfucker fucking fuck

disrespectfulbitch: whats going on???

nancywhatsherface: wow

nancywhatsherface: ok so basically whoooooooo

nancywhatsherface: so mike was adopted 

nancywhatsherface: um and hes an immigrant from russia

nancywhatsherface: so what the fuckkkkkkkk

disrespectfulbitch: what the fuck

disrespectfulbitch: russia????

disrespectfulbitch: what the fuckity flip-flap fuck

eddiek: this is insane

will: is mike ok?

nancywhatsherface: he hung up idk call him

will: ok

disrespectfulbitch: um… so imma call my mom

richie lay back on the bed, eddie next to him. 

thousands of things were flashing through richie's head, if he really was mike's brother then was he also from russia, were they really even twins/triplets, and who is the third party if there even was one?

eddie’s head lay on top of richie's thumping chest, “-che are you ok?”

richie didn't really want to answer, afraid he might spiral if he opened his mouth. he sighed, patted eddie's side and began to get up, eddie sitting up off his chest. “richie are you alright?”

richie grabbed his phone and dialed his mother’s number with eddie sitting next to him. “richie what are you doing?” eddie seemed a bit panicked, trying to calm him down, richie took eddie's hand in one of his own.

“calling my mom,” richie snapped, he realized what he had done and apologized, “sorry, i didn't mean to snap.” the number was inputted and the phone began to ring.

“what,” maggie tozier snapped into the receiver, sounding obviously annoyed.

“was i adopted?”

“who is this?”

“richie, how many adopted sons do you have?”

“oh richie, gosh i’m sorry i didn't recognize your voice, honey,” her voice softened, sounding very false.

“look can you just answer the question?”

“how has college been,” she dodged the question expertly.

“maggie, can you just tell me,” richie was getting visibly annoyed

“oh, what was the question again, sweetie?”

“was i adopted?”

“yeah,” she said, flatly, not sounding like she cared at all.

“why didn't you tell me when i was younger,” he sounded hurt, eddie could see his eyes tearing a bit.

“i didn't think it mattered,” she said, nonchalantly.

“maggie, why wouldn't it matter?”

“i don't know, that's just what your father told me.” richie could hear the uncaring tone she used and it cut him like a knife. she never cared about him and probably never would.

“do you have any information about the adoption?”

“no, why would i?”

“i don't know! maybe so i could know more about my birth family!” richie wanted to know more, more about his family, more about himself.

“i don't know anything about it, went just brought you home one day,” her uncaring tone just hurt. richie took in the information, and then the tears that were sitting on his eyelashes began to fall.

“cool, maybe i'll call him,” richie adopted the same nonchalant tone his mother was using, flat voice speaking to an even flatter voice.

“maybe you should.”

“fine i will.”

“fine. love you honey,” her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“bye.”

eddie took the phone out of richie’s hand and laid it on his nightstand. he took richie’s whole body in his arms and hugged the taller boy. richie was crying.

“why doesn't she like me,” he sobbed. his face was burrowed into eddie's neck, tears flowing down his face.

october 8th 2019, 9:30pm  
eddiek created for his own good  
eddiek added bevvverage, mikey, bigbill, benny, itsjuststan, nancywhatshername, and mike&ike

eddiek: so if u guys saw on the roommates gc

eddiek: mike is adopted and russian

eddiek: so if mike and richie are twins they are russian

eddiek: so richie called his mom

eddiek: who is a bitch

eddiek: and she just kind of said

eddiek: yes you are adopted and also i dont care

eddiek: so richie isnt ok

eddiek; just fyi

nancywhatsherface: wow

nancywhatsherface: is he going to be ok?

eddiek: i dont really know

eddiek: he usually cant sleep at all and goes to bed late

eddiek: but hes asleep rn so im a bit worried

bevvverage: pls just stay with him

eddiek: ok

eddiek: ill talk to you guys later k?

nancywhatsherface: k

itsjuststan: k 

benny: okey dokey

mike&ike: i hope he feels a bit better tomorrow

mikey: me too


	10. Gay Panic and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****Trigger Warnings*****  
> Abusive parents and gender dysphoria
> 
> If anyone finds anything else possibly triggering please let me know!

october 9th 2019, 4:56am  
for his own good

eddiek: hes alright, awake and texting 

itsjuststan: i know considering hes texting me

disrespectfulbitch-itsjuststan

disrespectfulbitch: heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

itsjuststan: hey richie r u ok?

disrespectfulbitch: no

disrespectfulbitch: definitely not

itsjuststan: why?

itsjuststan: eddie told us about your conversation with ur mom

itsjuststan: so if u dont want to talk about it thats ok

disrespectfulbitch: no its just 

disrespectfulbitch: god im so gayyyyyy

disrespectfulbitch: or bisexual makes more sense but whatever 

disrespectfulbitch: eddie is so fucking cute

itsjuststan: thats interesting

disrespectfulbitch: he slept with me last night

itsjuststan: you slept with him????

itsjuststan: you better actually like him!!!???!?!!?

disrespectfulbitch: what no not that kind of slept with

disrespectfulbitch: just in the same bed bc i was very not ok™

itsjuststan: oh ok well then pls gay panic at me

disrespectfulbitch: omfg how dare eds be so fucking adorable and sweet and kind

disrespectfulbitch: like not allowed

disrespectfulbitch: and he was so sweet dealing with me last night

disrespectfulbitch: and omfg he was just so sweet he let me cuddle himmmmmm

disrespectfulbitch: he's so tiny and sweet omfg i wanna kiss himmmmmmm

disrespectfulbitch: adhjsdfhsuihdfhiuhgugjh

itsjuststan: oh well that's nice

disrespectfulbitch: and like hes so angry and annoying 

disrespectfulbitch: i just want to kiss the mad off his face

disrespectfulbitch: and like make out with him all the time bc he's cute 

disrespectfulbitch: do u know he wears these tiny little shortsssss

disrespectfulbitch: it activates my gayyyyyyyyyyyy

itsjuststan: wow your so horny

disrespectfulbitch: bitch i am the king of horny

itsjuststan: ok yeah i can see that

disrespectfulbitch: and i know that it's a little weird to be so into someone i just met

disrespectfulbitch: but i live with him and he's cuteeeeeee and angryyyyy

itsjuststan: ok but like i only get to see him being wholesome and angry and obnoxious

disrespectfulbitch: and like yes he is those things

disrespectfulbitch: but he's also cuwute and sweet and kind and awesome

disrespectfulbitch: god i like him sooooo much

itsjuststan: your so gone on him

eddiek-bevvverage

eddiek: i think he's texting stan

bevvverage: why?

eddiek: idk he's silently giggling to himself so i think its stan

eddiek: it might be bill or mike tho

eddiek: but i'm more sure its stan

bevvverage: your weird

eddiek: no i'm just internally panicking

eddiek: richie fell asleep on me last night

bevvverage: omfg eddddddieee

bevvverage: this is such an achievement

bevvverage: my boiiiiiissssss are gonna be gay 2gether

eddiek: um yeah, he cried himself to sleep it was v sad

eddiek: but like i was holding him and he fell asleep

eddiek: it was very nice

eddiek: the best night of sleep ive had in ages

bevvverage: thats gay

eddiek: i know

eddiek: i really really really know

bevvverage: so like what does this mean for you gays?

eddiek: idfk

eddiek: we kinda got pretty close living together and taking some classes together

eddiek: this is just kinda another step

eddiek: idk what towards

eddiek: but its a step

bevvverage: i think its a step towards being boyfriens

bevvverage: a step towards

bevvverage: boooooonnniiinnnngggggggggg

eddiek: was that a b99 reference???

eddiek: bc if so im leaving

bevvverage: it was 

bevvverage: but ur not gonna leave

bevvverage: u need someone to gay panic too

bevvverage: eddie???

bevvverage: eddie where did u go

bevvverage: im sowwwwy

eddiek: dont do that

bevvverage: ha

bevvverage: i'm right

eddiek: shut up

eddiek: but like how the fuck is he so cute

eddiek: he's very very very very very very very very hot toooooo thoooo

eddiek: like have u seen his arms

eddiek: their noodles

eddiek: but like him so their ok

eddiek: but like they are very nice arms

eddiek: and his hair is so fucking flufffffy

eddiek: like what the fuck 

eddiek; ha painted his nails blue a few days ago and i think i went to heaven

eddiek: how dare he be so hotttt

bevvverage: that was such a strange panic

bevvverage: like what was that bit abt noodles?

eddiek: his arm are noodles

eddiek: but they are still very nice arms

bevvverage: you are such a strange gay

itsjuststan-disrespectfulbitch

disrespectfulbitch: so what do you think i should do???

itsjuststan: idk

itsjuststan: id say ignore it

itsjuststan: but like that's not good advice

itsjuststan: don't take it

disrespectfulbitch: ill do whatever i want

disrespectfulbitch: and coincidentally that is what i want to do

itsjuststan: no

itsjuststan: no richie no no no no no

itsjuststan: that dosent make sense

itsjuststan: please dont 

disrespectfulbitch: i can do whatever i want

disrespectfulbitch: im awesome

disrespectfulbitch: i dont need anyone

itsjuststan: except eddie

disrespectfulbitch: but like you too not joking

disrespectfulbitch: i like all of our losers club

disrespectfulbitch: i probably wouldn't be here without you guys

itsjuststan: stop with the feels

itsjuststan: i came here to watch u gay panic

itsjuststan: not be sincere about me

disrespectfulbitch: uwu

itsjuststan: *sigh*

itsjuststan: uwu

disrespectfulbitch: yay!!!!!

disrespectfulbitch: i win

disrespectfulbitch: …

disrespectfulbitch: something

itsjuststan: u win 3 rubber duckies

disrespectfulbitch: imma put them on the bathtub and use them to fuck with eddie

disrespectfulbitch: it will be worth it

itsjuststan: ok…

itsjuststan: that sounds interesting

disrespectfulbitch: it will be

disrespectfulbitch: *intense staring*

itsjuststan: pls dont look into my soul

disrespectfulbitch: ur the demon, there would only be hellfire there tho lmao

itsjuststan: that is true

itsjuststan: my soul is made of hellfire and brimstone

disrespectfulbitch: lmao 

disrespectfulbitch: but like ur soul must be so fluffy

disrespectfulbitch: bc like idk ur so sweet and yet so tough

disrespectfulbitch: idk probably spikes of fluffy stuff

disrespectfulbitch: bc like ^ sweet yet tough

itsjuststan: that's actually really nice

bevvverage-eddiek

bevvverage: eddie?

eddiek: beverly?

bevvverage: what the fuck

bevvverage: noodles?

eddiek: yes he has noodle arms and its hottt

bevvverage: so your sexualizing the poor noodles now?

bevvverage: noodle fetish

eddiek: shut the fuck up

bevvverage: never!!!!!!

eddiek: i know ur doing something panicky 

eddiek: i can tell bc ur trying to make this about me

eddiek: which it was 

eddiek: but now beverly whats up????

bevvverage: but like im so gay rnnnnnn

eddiek: mood

bevvverage: bc like max has el over and like wtf shes so cute?!?!?!?!???

bevvverage: and like max is also so fucking hot

bevvverage: and like they're so cute together like wtf is that allowed?!?!?!

eddiek: true el is very cute

eddiek: except like shes a girl

eddiek: and like wow bev that's very gayyy

bevvverage: i know but like my roommate and her girlfriend are so fucking uwu

eddiek: that sounds weird

bevvverage: i know

bevvverage: its very stressful for meeeeee

bevvverage: i am baby i cannot deal with feeeelingsssss

eddiek: ok but like we r both babies

bevvverage changed the chat name to babyuwu

eddiek: true dat

bevvverage: bc like fuck why are girls so hot????

eddiek: idk im way tooooo gay for girls

bevvverage: thats the whole point thoooooo

eddiek: *eyebrow raise*

bevvverage: wait fuck

bevvverage: i forgot u were a guy

bevvverage: and that kind of gayyyyy

bevvverage: i am sowwwwwwyyyy

eddiek: thats ok lamo

eddiek: it was kind of funny while it lasted

bevvverage: lmao u should go back to sleep tho

eddiek: ive been asleep since like 10 but i could sleep

bevvverage: uwu wuv u

eddiek: k <3

eddiek: wuv u 2

bevvverage: <3

disrespectfulbitch-itsjuststan

disrespectfulbitch: r u ok tho staniel?

itsjuststan: yeah richie i'm good

itsjuststan: why do u ask?

disrespectfulbitch: bc like ur awake rn?!??

itsjuststan: yeah i usually wake up at like 3

itsjuststan: i almost always wake up around that time

disrespectfulbitch: why?

itsjuststan: idk i've always been like that tho

itsjuststan: since i was like 15

disrespectfulbitch: well idk if u can but u should get more sleep

itsjuststan: that's not how it works but ill try bc u asked

disrespectfulbitch: how dare u be so sweet?

itsjuststan: fuck you

disrespectfulbitch: good night stan

itsjuststan: i'm not really going to sleep but whatever

disrespectfulbitch: i don't care

itsjuststan: bye

disrespectfulbitch: uwu

october 9th 2019, 10:28am  
roommates bitch

mike&ike: so… shit happened didnt it

disrespectfulbitch: you can say that again

mike&ike: so… shit happened didnt it

nancywhatsherface: so um… anyone know anything else or will we just ignore it???

disrespectfulbitch: lets do some thinking!!!

bigbill: so um i wasnt gonna mention it but remember when i saw not richie or mike in the park?

stevethemom: yeah i remember that

disrespectfulbitch: yeah

mike&ike: i remember that too

nancywhatsherface: why?

bigbill: well i saw him and his bf there the other day so i went and talked to them

disrespectfulbitch: how did it go?

bigbill: so um his name is boris pavlovsky

bigbill: he’s russian or something idk

bigbill: and i didn't really talk to him that much or tell him abt u guys besides saying that 

bigbill: like i had a friend that looked like him so…

bigbill: but he seemed cool?

bigbill: idk

bigbill: i got his number tho if u guys want it

dustybun: so um… thats weird

disrespectfulbitch: agreed ^

disrespectfulbitch: like before i met mike i would have just been like

disrespectfulbitch: *gaspe* doppelganger

disrespectfulbitch: but now

disrespectfulbitch: *gaspe* triplet

mike&ike: same tho

robinthewineaunt: so like are u guys gonna talk to him?

mike&ike: idk abt u richie but i think we should

disrespectfulbitch: i dont really care

disrespectfulbitch: but we can

bigbill: k his user is howdareyoubemyaesthetic

disrespectfulbitch: k ill make the gc with him

disrespectfulbitch created brothers???  
disrespectfulbitch added howdareyoubemyaesthetic and mike&ike

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: what the whole fuck???

disrespectfulbitch: hey im richie

mike&ike: im mike

disrespectfulbitch: my friend bill met u at the park 

disrespectfulbitch: we r the guys he said u looked like

mike&ike: selfiehahahafuckyou.jpg

disrespectfulbitch: hahafuckthis.jpg

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: ok thats strange

disrespectfulbitch: we think we might be triplets bc both mike and i are adopted 

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: ok so like you think i am your brother?

disrespectfulbitch: yeah basically

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: well i am not surprised

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: my father would be the person to not tell me things of importance such as brothers

mike&ike: so do you think we could be brothers???

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: almost definitely 

disrespectfulbitch: ok so like do you know our birth parents?

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: yeah mother is not

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: and father is also not

mike&ike: not?

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: so eh… mother has passed a while ago

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: and father sucks

mike&ike: oh…

disrespectfulbitch: what do you mean your/maybe our dad sucks

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: father used to get drunk a lot he was a bit violent too

mike&ike: are you ok?

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: i am fine now

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: i am living with a friend now

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: father does not know where i live

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: and i do not know where he lives

mike&ike: seems like you have a nice thing going there

mike&ike: i need a minute to process this and it hink richie does too seeing how he already left

howdareyoubemyaesthetic: yes, i need some time to think about this too

mike&ike: just know that now that were brothers we can talk and stuff about you know life and shit

disrespectfulbitch: how dare u be so nice mike!!!

mike&ike: i am not nice have u even met me???

disrespectfulbitch: no.

mike&ike: we r gonna change that 

richie took a moment to breathe. not only was his whole childhood essentially one big huge lie, but other people were going through the same thing. other people who he cared about, even a little bit and for some insane reason wanted to keep safe.  
eddie was sitting on his bed, he had a class at 11 but wasn't really getting ready to go because it was only 10:37pm. richie had a class at 11:30 but he wasn't really planning on going because, life changing news.  
eddie seemed to be texting someone, probably bev or bill, and wasn't paying attention to richie’s internal panic. richie could feel the panic boiling up and flowing over his head, he felt like he was drowning, like he was shoved into a pool and told to swim. his breath quickened and eddie looked up.   
“-che, are you ok?” eddie put down his phone and turned on his bed, sitting up to face richie head-on.  
richie didn't know how to reply, because on one hand it wasn’t the worst panic he had ever felt, but on the other hand, he was fucking drowning in air?  
“i’m… fine?” it was definitely phrased more as a question than a statement.  
eddie took his hands, which had begun to squeeze around the phone, the edges of the device cutting into his hands, leaving angry red lines. “richie you're going to hurt yourself,” eddie pleaded.   
richie was too lost in thought to care. too far gone in his own memories to be able to recognize what was real and what was false. 

he remembered the day, third day of junior year of highschool. when he arrived home from school his mom greeted him in the kitchen, just there for a refill on her alcoholic drink. richie couldn't remember if it was a vodka thing or more whisky, but did that really matter?  
she was only there for a few moments, long enough to add on to his, already shitty day, a couple of pointed insults. his father came home late from work, obviously intoxicated, maggie and wentworth began to argue about his continual lateness.  
all richie could think was that this was his fault. he hid in his room, with loud music blasting through his headphones, giving him the most false sense of protection possible. richie stayed in his room, but when he heard his father marching up the stairs. richie did the stupidest thing he could do, he stuck his head out of the door.  
went saw him and smacked him across the face, yelling, blaming him for all the grievances in his marriage.  
richie wasn’t surprised that he would do such a thing, he’d done it thousands of times before and it was always the same. wentworth would blame richie for screwing up his life, for making maggie an alcoholic, and for being another mouth to feed with the extensive money he made from his well paying job.   
went struck richie until the small teenager gave up, curling into a ball and waiting for the barrage of blows to be over. once he was done, wentworth called over his shoulder, “if you weren't such a shit maybe we would love you.”

richie couldn't think of his siblings going through something like that, but with what boris had said, it sounds like he was too late to stop it.   
“richie, breathe.” eddie.  
in the daze of past trauma, richie had forgotten that the smaller boy was even there.   
“richie?”  
“sorry eds, just had a little moment.”  
“it was more than that richie, i know what a flashback looks like.”   
“oh, then yeah it was that.”  
“ok, well do you want to talk abt it?”  
“not really.”   
“ok.” 

october 10th, 2019 2:19am

losers club

itsjuststan: yo is anyone awake?

mikey: yeah im up

benny: me 2

mikey: why r u up stan?

itsjuststan: i always wake up at around 3 but idk i woke up earlier this morning

itsjuststan: why are you guys up?

mikey: i just can't sleep, i've been up since 12

benny: idk why im still awake

mikey: u should sleep if u can ben

itsjuststan: anyway i assumed richie would be awake and i could yell at him but idk if i can yell at u guys

benny: that's ok i dont think i want to be yelled at 2 am

mikey: idk if i need to be yelled at but if u need to yell at someone you can yell at me

itsjuststan: i don't need to yell at anything other than gender dysphoria

mikey: oh, :(

benny: thats awful stan, i hope you feel better soon

mikey: i dont think hteres anything we can do but let us know if there is ok?

itsjuststan: yeah, i will

itsjuststan: you guys are the best

itsjuststan: idk do u think u could just listen while i complain?

mikey: yeah

benny: ofc go ahead

itsjuststan: it's just, sometimes it gets to me 

itsjuststan: that a lot of people don't respect me bc of this 

itsjuststan: and idk it's just a lot rn

mikey: i'm sure people respect you 

mikey: they're just assholes if they don't

itsjuststan: thanks mike

benny: people are assholes sometimes, 50% of the time it's because they don't understand, the other 50% is because they're just a genuine asshole, either way they do not dictate your life, live the way you want to not the way others want you to.

itsjuststan: ben, that was so fucking sweet

itsjuststan: your so amazing how dare you do shit this sweet

mikey: wow

mikey: ben that was amazing

itsjuststan: you should do public speaking bc that was incredible

benny: im blushing so hard u guysssss

itsjuststan: its ur fault for being so engouraging

benny: im glad u liked it stan

itsjuststan: i did

benny: im gonna go to sleep though now that your feeling a bit better

itsjuststan: ok, actually sleep tho

mikey: i could probably do some hw

itsjuststan: love u guys

benny: awwww love you guys

mikey: love you two <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were at 118 pages on Google docs, which IDK about you, but I think that's a lot!!!


	11. TTFN

october 10th 2019, 10:14pm

losers club

bevvverage: what the fuck happened last night

disrespectfulbitch: idfk i was asleep for once

itsjuststan: mike and ben are amazing and that is fact

mikey: ur so uwu stan

itsjuststan: um… i will not do the thing

itsjuststan: fine

itsjuststan: uwu

disrespectfulbitch: why is it such a fight for u to uwu at me

disrespectfulbitch: but u will uwu at mikey with no fight

itsjuststan: bc i like mike and benny

disrespectfulbitch: :’’’’’((((

bevvverage: that is such an ugly emoticon

disrespectfulbitch: staniel 

disrespectfulbitch: love meeeeeee

itsjuststan: ok 

benny: awwwww

benny: u 2 are cute <3

disrespectfulbitch: no, im a bitch and stan is cute

itsjuststan: ugh 

itsjuststan: yeah thats true tho

bevvverage-eddiek

bevvverage: so how do u feel?

eddiek: abt what?

bevvverage: richie calling stan cute?

eddiek: idk i think its true

bevvverage: its just that u like richie and stan likes richie and idk

eddiek: yeah, i think i like stan too idk

eddiek: but like i'm not too jealous

eddiek: maybe of the fact that stan got called cute and i didnt too

bevvverage: yeah thats what jealous means

eddiek: yeah but i dont think he should not call stan cute bc stan is cute

bevvverage: oh, yeah ok

bevvverage: i think you might have a crush on stan too?

eddiek: idfk

eddiek: i'll try figure that out 

bevvverage: that's ok

bevvverage: you don't need to tell me if you figure it out too tho

eddiek: i probably will tho bc ur a good confidant

bevvverage: aw thanks

bevvverage: u are too, it's nice to talk to u abt max and el

eddiek: yeah it's nice to hear about your issues lmao

eddiek: but yeah its nice to talk to u uwu

bevvverage: uwu love u 

eddiek: love u too uwu

losers club

mikey: ok so like what's going on with everyone

mikey: besides like richies drama

mikey: unless u have more shit going on we dont know abt

mikey: but like u dont have to tell us

mikey: i don't want to pressure you guys

benny: ive just been doing classes and stuff

benny: got a job tho

benny: at a coffee place by the school

mikey: thats cool :)

benny: yeah!!!

bigbill: i am just taking classes and shit

bigbill: i'm doing an art class, that's why i was in central park

disrespectfulbitch: i got a job a week ago…

eddiek: that doesn't count

disrespectfulbitch: yes it does, it so counts

disrespectfulbitch: ive been doing other peoples hw for cash

eddiek: which is not something you admit!!!!!

disrespectfulbitch: seeing as i get paid i like it

bigbill: but do you even do your own hw?

disrespectfulbitch: yeah, i actually had a high gpa in highschool

bigbill: somehow i didn't expect that

itsjuststan: i sort of did, except not with math 

disrespectfulbitch: i don't know math things

eddiek: but ur good at it, but also not

disrespectfulbitch: true dat

eddiek: i've just been doing hw and going to class like regular idk nothing new

bevvverage: same tho, just classes and hw

bevvverage: but i've also been hanging out with max and el recently

disrespectfulbitch: el is so sweet tho

bevvverage: yeah she's so nice 

itsjuststan: i've just been going to classes doing the regular

itsjuststan: i've made a few friends idk

bigbill: tell us abt them stan!

bigbill: we want to know abt ur friends :)

itsjuststan: her name is patty, she works at the bookstore by campus

itsjuststan: shes nice idk

disrespectfulbitch: she seems noice

eddiek: stop that richie

disrespectfulbitch: nooooiiiiceeeee

eddiek: someone get him to stop

benny: richie

disrespectfulbitch: yes?

benny: stop please

disrespectfulbitch: ok

itsjuststan: wow

mikey: that was cool

disrespectfulbitch: yeet

bevvverage: fucking yeet

eddiek: ok i can do this

eddiek: just not the noice thing

disrespectfulbitch: are u in our room?

eddiek: yeah, why?

disrespectfulbitch: wait a few minutes

eddiek: idk what ur gonna do but dont

disrespectfulbitch: too late

eddiek: what the fuck is that??????

disrespectfulbitch: 4 rocks

eddiek: what the fuck???

disrespectfulbitch: i thought the window was open bc it was this morning

eddiek: it was getting cold so i closed it

disrespectfulbitch: sorry

eddiek: what was even on those rocks?

disrespectfulbitch: i wrote y-e-e-t on them 

eddiek: omfg seriously

disrespectfulbitch: yep

these bitches gay

bevvverage: are we just gonna watch them flirt?

benny: yep

mikey: mmmm… yes

bigbill: i guess so

itsjuststan: considering richie did something stupid 

itsjuststan: yep

bevvverage: thats what i thought

itsjuststan: u know that night, when richie called his mom and that gc with nancy and mike2 was made

bevvverage: yeah, eddie texted me all night

itsjuststan: richie was texting me

bevvverage: did u hear abt the thing™ 

itsjuststan: yeah i got the full explanation

bigbill: what is the thing™ 

bevvverage: ill grab the screen shots of my convo with eddie

itsjuststan: and i have some of the one with richie

itsjuststan: whyisthismyproblem.jpg

bevvverage: that is an a+ name stan

bevvverage: whywhywhysooblivious.jpg

bigbill: what the fuck was that noodle thing?

bevvverage: apparently richie has ‘hot noodle arms’

itsjuststan: ur the one that fitted him for a goddamn dress

bevvverage: right

bevvverage: yeha he does have noodle arms

mikey: yeha

benny: yeha

itsjuststan: yeha

bigbill: yeha

bevvverage: stop, it was a typo

bigbill: nothing can hide from our eyessss

bevvverage: thats weird

bigbill: sorry

bevvverage: no its really not a problem

bigbill: ok

benny: i'm watching richie and eddies convo, its very weird

benny: i saw something abt yeet rocks?

mikey: their strange

bevvverage: and in luuuuuuuurvvvveeee

benny: yeah that too

bigbill: are they still arguing in the gc?

benny: no they left, to argue irl i think

itsjuststan: or make out, lmao

bevvverage: i just spit out my juice

mikey: is it illegal juice?

bevvverage: no its apple juice lol

bevvverage: illegal juice is what i'm calling alcohol for the rest of my life

bigbill: why did u think she was drinking illegal juice anyways?

mikey: idk i just did

bevvverage: well i take it as a complement 

bevvverage: so thank you mikey!!!

mikey: ur welcome?

benny: should we take this back to the gc?

bevvverage: unless we're gonna keep complaining abt reddie

itsjuststan: reddie?

bevvverage: richie+eddie=reddie

benny: ok yeah that works

mikey changed the groupchat name to reddie

itsjuststan: ok

bevvverage: how was that such a stan mood

itsjuststan: idk maybe bc i am stan

mikey: idk why ur such a mood stan

october 11 2019, 9:20am  
losers club

disrespectfulbitch: where did u guys go?

bevvverage: we have a secret gc where we talk abt u and eddie

eddiek: yeah, sure

disrespectfulbitch: thats such a bs explanation

reddie

benny: what the fuck?

bigbill: they dont believe us???

bevvverage: yep, i kind of expected this

losers club

bigbill: yeah, true

bigbill: so whats going on?

disrespectfulbitch: idfk

eddiek: idk we have classes soon tho

disrespectfulbitch: thats true 

bevvverage: i have class soon too tho

benny: lol same, do we just all have classes?

itsjuststan: i dont

bigbill: me neither

mikey: i dont lol

mikey: guess its just you 4 that have class

benny: guess so

bevvverage: well i gtg run across campus for class

bevvverage: bye boys

bigbill: bye bev

disrespectfulbitch: gtg <3

eddiek: gtg bye <3

benny: i gtg, bye

itsjuststan: bye you guys

mikey: ttfn 

bigbill: what?

itsjuststan: ta ta for now

mikey: ^ yeah

mikey: ttfn

bigbill: what is that

mikey: its just what tigger says in winnie the pooh

itsjuststan: yeah, duh

bigbill: ok… 

bigbill: ive never seen those movies

mikey: when do you guys have free time

itsjuststan: i have off tomorrow anytime after 3

bigbill: same

mikey: ok so come over and we’re gonna watch winnie the pooh

mikey: bc i need you to understand ttfn

bigbill: ok

bigbill: sounds like fun!

itsjuststan: sure, should we bring anything?

mikey: sneks?

bigbill: okey dokey 

itsjuststan: will do

bigbill: yeet

itsjuststan: ok

october 11 2019, 12:38pm  
roommates bitch

el-enormycousin: hello everyone!

will: hey el

stevethemom: hey sweetie

bevvverage: hi el

eddiek: hello everybody except richie 

disrespectfulbitch: rood

robinthewineaunt: ok...so do you guys ever actually go to school?

nancywhatsherface: they probably use their phones in class

robinthewineaunt: right that makes sense

dustybun: also its lunch rn

itsjuststan: yep

disrespectfulbitch: ru guys lunching together??????

disrespectfulbitch: also who changed the gc name back?

itsjuststan: i did 

itsjuststan: also no

disrespectfulbitch: ok

benny: so what is everyone doing???

stevethemom: working

stevethemom: at my job

mike&ike: i dont think its a job if u own the place

stevethemom: fuck u mike

mikey: i didnt say anything!

stevethemom: fine… fuck you wheeler

nancywhatsherface: i am innocent 

stevethemom: u ate all the lucky charms

stevethemom: thats evil

nancywhatsherface: technically that was ur fault for not going shopping when i told you too

stevethemom: no its not

robinthewineaunt: if u want to be technical its jon’s fault

billythedad: idk i thought is was your fault robin?

robinthewineaunt: no bc nancy told u to do it you told me and i told jon

nancywhatsherface: i feel like this is steve’s fault and we should all blame him

benny: so do you guys live together?

billythedad: yeah

nancywhatsherface added jon

jon: ???

will: make them stop arguing!!!

jon: ok ill go shopping, but steve has to come

stevethemom: ok

nancywhatsherface: got it

robinthewineaunt: i guess that ok

billythedad: thanks

jon: ok

disrespectfulbitch: so whos jon?

nancywhatsherface: my boyfriend and will’s brother

will: my brother

madmax: ok i actually have a question

stevethemom: for who?

madmax: u and billy

billythedad: ok what?

madmax: so i wanted to have a halloween party with the party and the roommates

madmax: but there's no way we can do it in the dorm

madmax: so can we do it at the bar?

stevethemom: as long as you guys don't drink my alcohol

billythedad: your not allowed to drink

madmax: but that was like 50% of the reasoning behind doing it at the bar

billythedad: but no

madmax: ok whatever as long as we can use the space

stevethemom: yeah but were coming too lmao

nancywhatsherface: me and jon have plans so no

billythedad: i feel like im gonna regret this

billythedad: steve do u wanna go trick or treating with me and robin?

stevethemom: yes

robinthewinwaunt: no billy

robinthewineaunt: this was gonna be a no s/o thingggggg

billythedad: do u want them to complain to us when steve ends up crashing their party?

robinthewineaunt: no

robinthewineaunt: fine steve can come with us

stevethemom: idk if im supposed to be this excited but i am

dustybun: idk how i feel abt you guys going trick or treating 

dustybun: youre like 30

billythedad: we’re like 23 shut up

dustybun: steve ur bf is threatening meeee

stevethemom: no he's not

disrespectfulbitch: ok i have a question

nancywhatsherface: yes?

disrespectfulbitch: wtf is going on?!?!?

nancywhatsherface: no

itsjuststan: ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta Ta For Now
> 
> But no. This chapter turned out a bit different than I expected, it took some unlicensed turns. I seriously didn't plan to make this so weird.
> 
> Also, super big thank you to everyone who has read this and commented. Comments and reviews make me feel like people actually like and appreciate my work, which is something I struggle with. Liking and appreciating my own work is difficult but it helps when I know other people like what I do!
> 
> Thank you all so much, it means a lot to me!
> 
> Sammi
> 
> (Also I was wondering how people liked the format that I write in and if it looks ok on a phone?)


	12. The Losers Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bev has an existential crisis, Mike and Richie meet face to face, and Beverley is probably not the right person to ask for relationship advice.

october 12, 2019 12:21am  
losers club

disrespectfulbitch: yo

bevvverage: hewwo bois

benny: hey guys

benny: what r u doing up?

disrespectfulbitch: just being an insomniac

bevvverage: same tho

benny: oh ok

benny: i just finished homework

benny: night guys :)

bevvverage: night benny <3

disrespectfulbitch: gn benny <3 <3

bevvverage: so…

disrespectfulbitch: so…

bevvverage: pm?

disrespectfulbitch: sure

bevvverage-disrespectfulbitch

bevvverage: hey

bevvverage: u ok?

disrespectfulbitch: ish

disrespectfulbitch: wbu?

bevvverage: im okish 

bevvverage: been doing a lot of gay paniking 

disrespectfulbitch: same tho

bevvverage: its just like assjiiofgihfihf

beverage: girls are so pretty and badass and awesome and i love them

disrespectfulbitch: yeah thats so fucking true tho

bevvverage: sometimes im also like wow guys are hot

bevvverage: but then the guy is a dick

disrespectfulbitch: wtf same

disrespectfulbitch: like we r basically the same????

bevverage: yeah, but ur funnier

disrespectfulbitch: thats a lie

bevvverage: fine than ur more chaotic

disrespectfulbitch: ok i can agree on that

bevvverage: so who are u gay panicking abt???

disrespectfulbitch: none of ur businesssssssssss

bevvverage: :’(

disrespectfulbitch: fine its this guy i go to school with

disrespectfulbitch: hes just super funny and chaotic and goes along with my shit 

bevvverage: ok, so its eddie?

disrespectfulbitch: wtf

disrespectfulbitch: um noooooooooooooo

bevvverage: really convincing

bevvverage: chill out tho 

disrespectfulbitch: dont tell anyone ok!

bevvverage: sure

disrespectfulbitch :its just i really like him and i dont want to mess this up too

bevvverage: im sure there is no way u can mess this up

disrespectfulbitch: but like ive already cried on him and he was ok with it

disrespectfulbitch: its just hhhhaarrrrrdddd

bevvverage :i dont need to know that much abt this

disrespectfulbitch: not like that!!!

disrespectfulbitch: just that i know he dosent like me like that and idfk what to do 

disrespectfulbitch: and like i dont even know what i want from this 

bevvverage: i think this is the most real conversation ive ever had

bevvverage: look, im sure he likes u too

bevvverage: just breathe and try to figure out where you see ur self in a few years

disrespectfulbitch: ok

bevvverage: only stan can really pull that ‘ok’ thing off

disrespectfulbitch: thats so true

disrespectfulbitch: anyone else looks like a jerk

bevvverage: thats so true 

disrespectfulbitch: im gonna go think about things

bevverage: okey dokey

bevvverage: i should try sleeping

bevvverage: try being the key word

reddie

bevvverage: thebitchadmittedit.jpg

bevvverage: ha 

bevvverage: i win 

bevvverage: not sure what i win but i win it!!!!!!!!!!

itsjuststan: ok

bevvverage: ha

itsjuststan: no but seriously im glad u got him to think about it

bevvverage: i could see that he needed to know where to go

itsjuststan: yeah i told him not to ignore it but he wanted to so there wasnt much of a choice

bevvverage: yeah i hope hes good bc this is kinda a tough time on him

bevvverage: and like hes our friend

bevvverage: we've got to be there for him

itsjuststan: yeah

itsjuststan: we do 

itsjuststan: u should go to sleep tho

bevvverage: u too <3

itsjuststan: gn bev

bevvverage: gn stan <3

itsjuststan: <3

october 13th 2019, 9:49am  
losers club

mikey: gm 

benny: gm mike

benny: how are you?

mikey: im ok ben

mikey: how are you?

benny: im currently running to class

benny: :)

benny: but i thought i should say hello to everyone

bevvverage: haha hi ben

bevvverage: its just kinda funny bc i am also running to a cross campus class

bevvverage: fuck math

bigbill: mood

bigbill: fuck math

mikey: true that

disrespectfulbitch: math is for assholes

eddiek: i mean u kind of need it for life

itsjuststan: yeah for shit like taxes

bevvverage: no

bevvverage: that a lie

bevvverage: i refuse to believe that 

itsjuststan: sorry bev

bevvverage: hahahano.

bevvverage: i refuse to believe it!!!!!!!!!!

eddiek: yeah sorry

disrespectfulbitch: eds stop ruining her dreams of never using math ever

eddiek: fine :p

disrespectfulbitch: :p

bevvverage: yeah ok

reddie

benny: when did that happen???

bevvverage: super early this morning

bigbill: im glad u tried to give him some direction

bevvverage: yeah, he needed it

mikey: i gtg but that convo was strangely cute

itsjuststan: it kind of was tho

she hadn't been getting much homework, or having any idea on what to do besides text the losers club, the six boys being fun to talk to. she liked talking to each of them, together or individually. 

richie being fun, similar to her in sense of humor. 

stan being a good friend, and a humorous person to talk too. 

ben is super kind and an amazing friend, bev couldn't imagine the group without their lovable benny. 

bill is smart and likes to talk to her individually, she knows he likes her, she just isn't too sure she’s interested at the moment. 

mike is incredible and adorable, he loves everyone and will go along with almost anything those idiots come up with. 

eddie is probably her closest friend in the group, he confides in her and she confides in him, she is thinking of telling him about her parents. 

beverly couldn't imagine college without the boys at her back, even if they didn't go to the same college she knew they would have her back.

her gay panic wasnt going too well. beverly had been doing a lot of thinking about what was going on. she ran a hand through her short red hair, her thought process running all over the place. 

she had so many people running a marathon through her little bisexual head that it would probably explode. she had a huge crush on literally everyone, and she couldn't help thinking. 

‘is it really a crush, or are you so starved for affection that you fall in love with anyone who is ever nice to you?’ 

that thought hurt, it cut through the outer layers of her guarded heart and pierced her. beverly sighed and flopped down on her bed. her heart felt like it would explode.

october 13th 2019, 10:15am

roommates bitch

robinthewineaunt: do you think we should change the name of this?

nancywhatsherface: bc like we aren't your roommates lmao

will: what abt… idfk someone else give an idea

bevvverage: maybe other friends?

disrespectfulbitch: group chat!

mike&ike: no

mike&ike: thats such a bad idea

disrespectfulbitch: ur roooood

eddiek: idfk?

robinthewineaunt: i like u eddie

robinthewineaunt changed the group name to idfk

nancywhatsherface: i actually like that

jon: i feel like im gonna get it confused but whatever

will: yeah, same

mike&ike: idk i like it 

disrespectfulbitch: simple but effective

disrespectfulbitch: good job eds

eddiek: thanks 

mike&ike: also who elected nancy and robin the presidents of this gc?

stevethemom: they did

stevethemom: we can't change that now

madmax: ok…

el-enormycousin: so um just wondering if anyone else wanted to meet up?

el-enormycousin: because i've already met richie and eddie but no one else from ur group

bevvverage: :’’’’’’’’’’’(

disrespectfulbitch: ew that emoticon is gross

bevvverage: *middlefinger*

disrespectfulbitch: rood

el-enormycousin: oh right and beverly :)

bevvverage: yeah!!!!!!

benny: well i would love to meet up whenever you would like to

el-enormycousin: how about later today, 3 ish?

bigbill: i mean that sounds good to me

will: mike and mike and me can come 

mikey: yep lol

bigbill: i can come

itsjuststan: dustin and i can

georgelucas: i’ll be there

bevvverage: i shall go!!!!!!!!

benny: i can go, cant wait!

disrespectfulbitch: im not doing anything

eddiek: neither am i

disrespectfulbitch: so let's go?

eddiek: i guess so

disrespectfulbitch: k

nancywhatsherface: do they do this often

bevvverage: yeah

benny: yep

robinthewineaunt: okay

disrespectfulbitch: what?

eddiek: what?

bevvverage: nothing 

reddie

benny: wow

bigbill: their oblivious

mikey: damn they got it badddd

bevvverage: this is very funny

idfk

el-enormycousin: so are we all cool to meet up?

stevethemom: idk if you invited us adults?

dustybun: no.

robinthewineaunt: *gaspe* rooooood

madmax: no ur rood

madmax: but robins right the adults should be allowed to come

madmax: but shouldnt come

billythedad: that is rood max

madmax: your not my mom!

stevethemom: thats rude max

madmax: sorry william

billythedad: i forgive you maxine

madmax: screeeeeeeeee

madmax: how dare you

billythedad :you did it first

madmax: u suck

billythedad: reverseuno.jpg

madmax: wow

madmax: real original

disrespectfulbitch: ok, how do u guys know eachother again??????

madmax: hes my brother

billythedad: shes my sister

disrespectfulbitch: idk why i didnt know that

disrespectfulbitch: i feel like you said that before

madmax: thats ok

itsjuststan: so where are we meeting?

itsjuststan: bc we cant just meet at a burger king

el-enormycousin: well we are in ny

el-enormycousin: central park?????

dustybun: sounds good to me!

georgelucas: when?

madmax: we already said 3, stalker

georgelucas: oh right

el-enormycousin: cool can't wait!!!

richie and eddie took the train over to central park and looked around for anyone they knew. both boys spotted el at the same time and walked over to where she was sitting with a couple of boys and stan. 

“the party has arrived,” richie called out towards the group, who turned to say hello to the two. 

richie met and made friends with lucas, dustin and max, he felt a bit closer to max than to any of the boys. beverly showed up, only a few minutes after richie had, with five boxes of pizza. “pizza’s here,” she called out, and everyone shuffled to make space for the pizza boxes.

el made sure no one touched the pizza until everyone arrived, ben came over soon after beverly, bill and the rest of the ‘losers club’ walked over soon after. at exactly 3:05 will, mike, and mikey arrived and everyone dug into the food.

at a certain point mike and richie caught each other's eyes, a silent agreement to talk passed through them and richie left his conversation with stan, mikey and dustin to go talk to his brother.

“hey,” richie spoke first.

“hi,” mike said, both standing across from each other. the situation felt a bit awkward for both of them.

“so what’s up?” richie asked his brother, still a little uneasy about calling him that. 

“i mean, not much. taking classes and hanging out with will,” mike responded to the question.

“i feel like i’m doing practically the same thing, just replace your boyfriend with my roommate,” richie laughed.

mike looked at him for a second, then spoke, “you really like eddie don't you?” 

richie was astonished, this was something he only told two people, beverly and stan. he told them not to tell anyone, but he had never made them promise, but why they would tell his brother is another thing. “yeah, he’s a good friend,” richie asked. 

“sure,” mike remarked, sarcastically.

richie rolled his eyes, “so what do you like to do?” 

“read, hang out with my friends, you know.” mike took a sip from his drink.

richie nodded, he knew what mike was talking about. “i get it,” richie smiled and turned to walk away.

“wait,” mike grabbed richie's arm. “do you want to hang out sometime?” 

“uh,” richie was surprised that mike would even want to know about him. “sure, maybe with boris?” 

“sure, if he wants to come, he can,” mike said, then took another sip of his drink. 

on the other side of the picnic bench beverly was talking with will and ben. “so, what do you guys think about mike, richie and the other one?” beverly asked them.

“boris,” will supplied, “and i think the whole situation kinda sucks. mostly because its hurting mike.” 

beverly sighed, “thats awful. i hope everything gets a bit better for mike.” 

“yeah, mike is just really upset that karen never told him,” will said quietly.

“that's actually really awful, do you know why she never told him?” ben asked, not particularly fishing for an answer. 

“she thought he knew, because he doesn't look like nancy or holly, his sisters.” will told them. 

ben and bev looked at eachother, “wow.” they spoke together. 

will meandered away, moving into a conversation with el about their parents relationship. ben turned to beverly, “so how are you liking college?” 

beverly smiled, “it's been going ok, some classes are fun, some are math.” 

“yeah, math is all on its own evil level. do you like your classes?” ben wondered.

the redhead rolled her eyes, “i like some of my classes, mostly the ones associated with fashion.” 

“that's good.”

“what about you, how do you like your classes?” beverly asked her friend.

ben smiled, “i actually like most of them, except math.”

“again, math is the devil's handiwork,” beverly smiled at the man.

october 14th 2019, 1:32pm  
losers club

disrespectfulbitch: did everyone have fun meeting with the others?

eddiek: what???

eddiek: only one punctuation?!?!?

disrespectfulbitch: shush

bevvverage: hey that's my thing

benny: agreed 

itsjuststan: i hate to admit but that was fun

disrespectfulbitch: wow u actually admit that

mikey: leave stan alone richie

disrespectfulbitch: okey dokey

bevvverage: artichokey

eddiek: omfg now richie is gonna be doing that all week

disrespectfulbitch: get ready eddie spaghetti

eddiek: dont fucking call me that

disrespectfulbitch: i shall call you whatever i want

disrespectfulbitch: eds

eddiek: bitch

reddie

mikey: *facepalm*

benny: omfg their flirting so hard

bevvverage: agreed 

losers club

itsjuststan: ok let's talk about something different?

itsjuststan: hmm?

bevvverage: that was a hmm of premeditated murder

disrespectfulbitch: obviously

disrespectfulbitch: remember… stan is a demon

disrespectfulbitch: duh

bevvverage: obviously

itsjuststan: ive never killed anyone

disrespectfulbitch: yet?????

itsjuststan: yet.

mikey: wow that's ominous

mikey: that whole . thing

mikey: ominous

mikey: that's what that is

itsjuststan: u all suck like a fair amount

disrespectfulbitch: yep :)

benny: ok kids stop fighting

disrespectfulbitch: fiiiiiinnneeeeee

itsjuststan: i apologize 

itsjuststan: not

disrespectfulbitch: bitch

itsjuststan: bitch

bevvverage: bitch

mikey: bitch

bigbill: bitch

eddiek: bitch

benny: …

benny: bitch

disrespectfulbitch: haha you have been corrupted

benny: ive been corrupted long before this

october 15th 2019, 8:19am   
losers club

bevvverage: so… my cousin called me

itsjuststan: bro… same

bevvverage: wait what???

itsjuststan: um yeah

disrespectfulbitch: so… cousins?

bevvverage: yeah, my cousin syd

itsjuststan: my cousin stanley

benny: wait ur cousin is named stanley too?

itsjuststan: yep… but he has crazy crackhead energy

mikey: so wait who is older???

eddiek: who was named after who?

itsjuststan: he’s older by a month and a half

benny: so the stan came after the stanley???

disrespectfulbitch: chicken meet egg

itsjuststan: yeah basically

itsjuststan: my mom was not too creative

itsjuststan: that's a fact

bevvverage: ok but like my cousin called me this morning to ask me for relationship advice

bevvverage: me

bevvverage: relationship advice

bevvverage: me

itsjuststan: actually same

bevvverage: what?

itsjuststan: my cousin asked me for relationship advice.

itsjuststan: mostly bc the girl he wants to ask out doesnt know hes trans

bevvverage: i swear if this is another ‘roommates’ thing

bevvverage: where they all know each other

disrespectfulbitch: thats actually very funny

eddiek: w h e e z e 

disrespectfulbitch: shut up richie

eddiek: hahahahahaha

eddiek: this is hilarious thoooooo

eddiek: i can't stop wheezinggggg

disrespectfulbitch: stop

disrespectfulbitch: give me back my phone

eddiek: make me bitch

bevvverage: i think your cousin and those two would be crackhead friends

itsjuststan: i am actually scared of that

bevvverage: tbh my cousin has big crackhead energy

itsjuststan: crackhead cousins?

bevvverage: crackhead cousins :)

eddiek: crackhead gc?

bevvverage: wait richie just said a good idea

mikey: what the fuck is going on?

benny: bev and stan have crackhead cousins and richie and eddie switched phones

bigbill: okkkkkkkkkkkk

bigbill: this is strangely awesome

bevvverage: we should make a gc with those two and give them the advice they so desire

itsjuststan: yeah…

itsjuststan: got it

disrespectfulbitch: gimme my fucking phone back richie

eddiek: you’ll have to catch me bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment... I'm sort of running out of ideas for this, guess I didn't think this through totally lol.
> 
> Thanks for reading this far, you are all absolutely fabulous. 
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> Sammi


	13. A Whole Ass Roommates Situation

october 15th 2019, 9:03am   
losers club

disrespectfulbitch: my phone richie

eddiek: i said…

eddiek: catch me bitch

disrespectfulbitch: richie fucking tozier 

eddiek: yeet

disrespectfulbitch: richie where are you?

eddiek: nowhere and everywhere

disrespectfulbitch: u bitch

eddiek: hahahahahahahahaha

disrespectfulbitch: come back richie

itsjuststan created let me help you

itsjuststan added fuckingyeet and bevvverage

bevvverage added fryingpan

fryingpan: stan…

fryingpan: imma stab u 

fryingpan: u bitch

fuckingyeet: it was an accident

fuckingyeet: dina dared me 

fryingpan: i will stab u 

fuckingyeet: ill help

bevvverage: fuck this

itsjuststan: again???

fuckingyeet: what is this abt?

fuckingyeet: who is the beetlejuice fan?

bevvverage: i’m beverly, syds cousin

fryingpan: im syd

fuckingyeet: i know

itsjuststan: i didn't 

fuckingyeet: im stan

fuckingyeet: or stanley whatever you prefer

itsjuststan: im stan ur stanley

fuckingyeet: ok whatever

fryingpan: so what is this gc abt?

bevvverage: your relationship issues

itsjuststan: bc we know you both have them

fryingpan: i think your wrong 

fuckingyeet: yeah no your so wrong

fuckingyeet: syd isn't dating anyone

fuckingyeet: shes too angsty

fryingpan: shut the fuck up stanley barber u loser

fuckingyeet: :’( you've wounded me

fryingpan: i will run to your house and gut you

fuckingyeet: yeah ok

bevvverage: yeah but syd texted me to talk abt her ~relationships~

itsjuststan: and so did stanley

itsjuststan: ~relationships~

fryingpan-bevvverage

fryingpan: the relationship that needs advice is with stanley

fryingpan: don't make me tell him

bevvverage: ok, fine

bevvverage: but we are keeping the gc

fryingpan: fine

fryingpan: also fuck you for even making that gc

bevvverage: um no that was stan

fryingpan: yeah whatever

itsjuststan-fuckingyeet

fuckingyeet: um…....

fuckingyeet: so i kinda needed this advice about syd

itsjuststan: oh ok

let me help you

bevvverage: ok fine, no ~relationships~

itsjusstan: ok whatever

fryingpan: so what the fuck are we gonna do here?

bevvverage: idk, im gonna go tho lmao

fuckingyeet: noooooooooooo

fuckingyeet: don't leave me here, you seem like the more sane cousin

fryingpan: stahp it stanley 

fryingpan: u rood

bevvverage: ok look

bevvverage: im staying but only bc u guys are funny

itsjuststan: stanley is not funny

itsjuststan: he’s a crackhead

fryingpan: lmao he got u there stanlee

fuckingyeet: weed doesn't count as crack syd i told u that like a bajillion times

itsjuststan: yeah it really doesnt 

bevvverage: but you guys have like the best crackhead energy

fuckingyeet: fucking yeeeeeeeeet

fryingpan: yeeeet

bevvverage: yeah your crazy as fuck

fryingpan: mood

fuckingyeet: fucking mood

itsjuststan: so im gonna go

bevvverage: dont leave me here with themmmmm

bevvverage: stan????????

bevvverage: i will pull the staniel card

itsjuststan: your not allowed to talk to richie anymore

bevvverage: your not my mom :(((((

bevvverage: mmmmmmmllleehhhhhhh

itsjuststan: ok, no.

fuckingyeet: wow you guys are so weird

losers club

benny: did you guys get your whole phone situation fixed?????

disrespectfulbitch: yeppers

eddiek: we did… no thanks to richie

disrespectfulbitch: how did your cousins intervention go???

bevvverage: it went ok…

itsjuststan: they knew eachother

itsjuststan: it was a roommates thing all over again

mikey: wow thats interesting

mikey: so how do they know each other???

bevvverage: um they live on the same street and are the same age

benny: okay so who did they need advice abt?

bevvverage: each other if you can believe that

mikey: what?

itsjuststan: yep

itsjuststan: they both like each other

disrespectfulbitch: wow thats pretty weird 

disrespectfulbitch: like actually pretty weird

disrespectfulbitch: so wait so they like each other?

itsjuststan: thats kind of what it means when i said 

itsjuststan: yep.

bevvverage: i think syd also likes this girl shes friends with 

bevvverage: dina something

itsjuststan: wait

itsjuststan: stanley likes this girl named dina too

itsjuststan: but hes worried that syd and dina wouldnt want to be in a polyamorous relationship

bevvverage: but like syd was going through the same shit in our dms

itsjuststan: wait so they like the same person but are too stuck in their asses to realize it??

disrespectfulbitch: wow thas some pretty crazy shit

bevvverage: so should we find out who this dina girl is??????????

disrespectfulbitch: i shall do it

eddiek: no you should go do your homework

eddiek: and not take another freaking assignment but for friends so you cant fail it

eddiek: i know how your brain works richard

disrespectfulbitch: no u dont

disrespectfulbitch: im not gonna do my homework bc its boring 

disrespectfulbitch: im gonna find dina bc its intellectually amusing

eddiek: dont make me find u and glomp you

disrespectfulbitch: you can never find me 

disrespectfulbitch: i am hiddddenn yeet

eddiek: your under your bed

eddiek: im coming up the stairs and if ur not doing hw im gonna glomp you

disrespectfulbitch: fineeeee

disrespectfulbitch: but i was gonna do something more funnnnn

disrespectfulbitch: taco bell???

eddiek: ok fine

eddiek: but ur paying

reddie

mikey: eew their flirting again

bevvverage: we should probably get used to it

bevvverage: their gonna be doing that for a while

bigbill: yeah, basically until we get them together

bigbill: which should be soon

bigbill: because their getting annoying

bevvverage: true that

benny: do u think this taco bell thing is a date?????

mikey: it is possible

bevvverage: yeah very much a date

bevvverage: omfg it is a date

bevvverage: richie asked eddie on a date

bevvverage: oh my fucking god he did it

bevvverage: this is fucking awesome

bigbill: but what if richie didnt mean it as a date?

itsjuststan: i dont think he did

itsjuststan: i dont think richie thought it through like at all

bevvverage: wait that makes sense

bevvverage: there is no way he would ask eddie out

bevvverage: too nervous

bevvverage: also…

bevvverage: a n x i e t y 

losers club

bigbill: ok so how was taco bell?

disrespectfulbitch: it was…

disrespectfulbitch: taco bell???

disrespectfulbitch: like nothing interesting happened???

bigbill: yeah but like…

bigbill: idk anything

reddie

bigbill: i do be fishing

benny: fishing is fun

bevvverage: i like fishing

bevvverage: fishing is fun

bevvverage: i would go fishing but i don't got lungs

bigbill: what are lungs?

mikey: baby dont hurt me

mikey: dont hurt me 

mikey: no more

itsjuststan: this is so fucking weird

bevvverage: we should do this to richie and eddie

mikey: hell yes

losers club

disrespectfulbitch: i guess the guacamole was funny tasting

eddiek: that was my information

eddiek: i was gonna tell them abt the guacamole

eddiek: the guacamole was mine to tell abt

eddiek: how dare you steal my guacamole information

eddiek: it was mine 

bevvverage: i like fishing

disrespectfulbitch: have u ever been fishing?

bevvverage: fishing is fun

eddiek: except its not

eddiek: fishing is terrible 

eddiek: why anyone would ever go fishing is an important question

bevvverage: i would go fishing but i don't got lungs

disrespectfulbitch: mood

bigbill: what is lungs

eddiek: this dosent even make sense

disrespectfulbitch: baby dont hurt me

mikey: dont hurt me

disrespectfulbitch: no more

eddiek: w h a t 

eddiek: that dosent even sense

eddiek: bc like what?

bevvverage: this was brilliant

disrespectfulbitch: this was very well rehearsed

disrespectfulbitch: i feel like your alllll rehearsing for shit 

disrespectfulbitch: w i t h o u t m e 

bigbill: i swear this was all an amazing coinkydink

mikey: who says coinkydink 

bigbill: 12 year olds

bevvverage: i cant believe i forgot abt your brother wtf

benny: me either

benny: your brother is adorable

benny: how dare you forget abt him

disrespectfulbitch: how old is heeeeee?!?!?!

bigbill: 12???!!!?!?

bigbill: i said that like 2 seconds ago 

disrespectfulbitch: ok but like whats his name, is he cute

bigbill: his name is georgie and he was cute before he got crotchety

mikey: wait

mikey: georgie denbrough??????????????

bigbill: wait how do you know my brother?

mikey: i worked at hanlon farms 

mikey: i used to babysit your brother

mikey: he would come and goof off with the chickens 

bigbill: wtf i can't believe you know my brother

mikey: i'm just terrible with faces like clinically terrible

mikey: you know i barely connected mike and richie and it took for fucking ever for me to realize it

mikey: i'm not surprised i couldn't connect your brother to chicken-man georgie

bigbill: chicken-man???

mikey: the chickens really like him

mikey: i don't make the rules 

mikey: the chickens do

itsjuststan: ok that is fact

itsjuststan: chickens are creepy

itsjuststan: they have creepy feet and eat so much gross stuff

disrespectfulbitch: ok but i raise you ducks

eddiek: who is weirded out by ducks??????

disrespectfulbitch: me.

itsjuststan: me.

bevvverage: me.

mikey: me.

eddiek: what???

eddiek: what is so freaky abt ducks

mikey: um everything 

itsjuststan: literally everything

october 16th 2019, 12:39am  
idfk

disrespectfulbitch: im sobbing rn…

madmax: um… am i allowed to ask why?

disrespectfulbitch: philip hamilton

el-enormycousin: that is a mood

el-enormycousin: did i do that right?

disrespecfulbitch: yes yes u did u funky fresh child

madmax: wtf?

madmax: thats pretty weird

jon: but like phillip was too young to die and he was funky baby

disrespectfulbitch: for an adult ur kewl

jon: neat

bevvverage: ok but has anyone seen six?

disrespectfulbitch: yessssss that musical is fucking amazingggg

madmax: ive only seen it bc u made me

el-enormycousin: ive seen it

el-enormycousin: i loved it it is very good

will: jon made me and nancy watch it

jon: bc the whole fucking thing is a bopppp

disrespectfulbtich: true that

el-enormycousin: what is bop?

mike&ike: like music with a good beat that is good

el-enormycousin: then yes six is a bop

nancywhatsherface: um yes six is a bop they are all literal kweens

robinthewineaunt: that is truuuuuu

bevvverage: ok so like six is good

robinthewineaunt: facts

eddiek: on the topic of musicals…

eddiek: starkid?

madmax: f u c k i n g y e s 

bevvverage: im so gay for lauren lopez

nancywhatsherface: yeah sorry jon i would leave u for lauren lopez

jon: i would leave me for lauren lopez

el-enormycousin: i really like starkid too

el-enormycousin: especially firebringer

el-enormycousin: that is my favourite

disrespectfulbitch: black friday is neat

eddiek: the harry potter ones are more canon than the cursed child and that's on facts

bevvverage: ^agree

itsjuststan: ^agree

el-enormycousin: ^agreed

will : ^agree

stevethemom: but like hannah is baby and i want to adopt her

billythedad: i hate to say it but i agree with steve

stevethemom: fight me bitch

madmax: just get married and have hannah as your child?

stevethemom: fucking yes

billythedad: m a r r y m e ? ? ? ?

stevethemom: s u r e 

madmax: s t o p 

madmax: i t w a s a j o k e

dustybun: but like anyone else waiting for them to seriously pop the question?

nancywhatsherface: ive been waiting for-fucking-ever

jon: sometimes i regret moving in with billy, steve robin and nancy

jon: but then i remember that steve is rich

stevethemom: i will cut you off chld

jon: im sowwy

stevethemom: is he doing the eyestm 

stevethemom: i dont know what to do

stevethemom: hey nancy can i knock out your boyfriend 

stevethemom: he has really big eyes

stevethemom: i dont understand

stevethemom: this doesnt seem anatomically possible

nancywhatsherface: he does have eyeballs

nancywhatsherface: and regular balls

mike&ike: eeeew 

mike&ike: i didnt need to know these thingsssss

mike&ike: im gonna go cry now

will: ill come with if thats ok

mike&ike: ofc bby

madmax: soft mike is good mike

mikey: im soft okayyyyyy

mikey: oh shit we r not talking abt me

mikey: oop

bigbill: but like u are softtttt

bigbill: bc seriously watching winnie the pooh with you really illustrated ur soft-ness

itsjuststan: this just in mike hanlon is softest boi

bevvverage: wow i cant believe this is actually news to you

benny: yeah like this is old news people

disrespectfulbitch: like the first time he ever spoke to me i almost died of softness

mikey: i literally just said

mikey: ‘hey u must be richie, im mike’

disrespectfulbitch: yes and i died

eddiek: can confirm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is shorter than normal but I'm kinda writing on 0% energy and should probably sleep but its noon so I'm not gonna.
> 
> Hope everyone is staying safe the shit that is going on in the world is terrible I have been going to protests and doing what I can to help right now donate if you can this is really important please do whatever you can and stay safe sign petitions and please help out we need all of the voices to speak up


	14. Fly-Swackin Paddy-Wackin' Bitch

october 17th 2019, 5:35pm  
losers club

bevvverage: fly-swackin paddy-wackin bitch

disrespectfulbitch: mood

eddiek: what even does that mean?

itsjuststan: fly-swackin paddy-wackin bitch

mikey: idk whats going on but i guess i agree

benny: i was just abt to say that lmao

bevvverage: does anyone know what we r doing?

disrespectfulbitch: omg bev thats such a mood

eddiek: mood

benny: how dare that be such a mood

mikey: actually mood bev

itsjuststan: um thats relatable

eddiek: we were all saying mood stan

eddiek: you broke it

bigbill: mood

bigbill: oh wait, no mood to bevs thing

bigbill: i do not condone being mad at stan

itsjuststan: wow you would be the first

bigbill: ????!?!??!?!?!?!

mikey: wtf stan n o

eddiek: im sowwy stan

bevvverage: um stan u are my child

bevvverage: mike we r getting married and adopting stan

mikey: no.

disrespectfulbitch: wow there i s someone else besides stan who can do the no. 

mikey: no.

disrespectfulbitch: ok i guess that works

bevvverage: ok well…

bevvverage: richie marry me and lets adopt stan

disrespectfulbitch: w a s t h a t a p r o p o s a l ? ? ? ? 

bevvverage: y e s 

disrespectfulbitch: so im married and bev is my wife now

disrespectfulbtich: no one else matters except you guys bc i like u 

eddiek: so um everyone matters to u???

disrespectfulbitch: yes

disrespectfulbitch: im very anxiety

bevvverage: so stan my child are you happy now?

itsjuststan: u and richie are dumbasses

itsjuststan: but yes

itsjuststan: you guys are one dumbass family

disrespectfulbitch: and you love it

itsjuststan: i don't not love it

eddiek: double negative 

eddiek: y e e t 

disrespectfulbitch: y e e t 

idfk

disrespectfulbitch: hey

disrespectfulbitch: jon 

jon: yeet

disrespectfulbitch: idk why but your my friend now

jon: k 

nancywhatsherface: yeah hes kinda sleep deprived

jon: i am the real sugar baby

jon: the real sugar baby

jon: all the other sugar babies are just imitating

disrespectfulbitch: wow

disrespectfulbitch: i want to be a jon when i grow up

disrespectfulbitch: not a care in the world

jon: w h e e z e 

jon: i have cares

jon: i care abt nance and will and my mom

jon: and what people think about me

will: aw jon

el-enormycousin: what abt me :(

jon: no dont be sad el i love u toooooooo

el-enormycousin: of course you do

madmax: my girlfriend is a savage

el-enormycousin: :)

october 18th 2019, 9:18am  
losers club

disrespectfulbitch: the gay agenda: big dogs not big dicks

bevvverage: omfg that's so true

eddiek: i want a big dog too

mikey: dogs are amazing

benny: i want so many dogs

bigbill: asteriskissomehowadorablewtf.jpg

bigbill: asterisk.jpg

bigbill: georgie has been sending me so many pictures of asterisk

bevvverage: wanna see royal cattin?

itsjuststan: hell yes

bevvverage: royalroyalcattinyeee.jpg

bevvverage: 525600minutesofroyalcattin.jpg

bevvverage: fuckingwhyareyouthere.jpg

bevvverage: youareawhore.jpg

itsjuststan: you name your photos like you have a death wish

itsjuststan: cats can read and will come after you

bevvverage: yeah i know

bevvverage: max takes care of her more 

bevvverage: and el helped me pick the names so…

bevvverage: royal cattin can kill them first then me

itsjuststan: yeah, ill help

bevvverage: help me or the cattin?

itsjuststan: i will assist her royal highness

bevvverage: richie we are un-adopting stan

disrespectfulbitch: um noooooooooooo

disrespectfulbitch: stan is our child 

disrespectfulbitch: how dare you abandon them

bevvverage: well their conspiring to kill me

disrespectfulbitch: im sorry bev we need to get a divorce

bevvverage: nooooo richie my one true love 

bevvverage: how dare you abandon me like this

disrespectfulbitch: your the one abandoning us :(

benny: wow this is just like my childhood

bevvverage: u ok ben?

benny: yeah, just maybe stop with the joke

benny: it kinda stopped being funny

disrespectfulbtich: ofc 

disrespectfulbtich: im sorry

bevvverage: me too

itsjuststan: im concerned bennnnnnnnnnny

benny: its ok, im kinda over it

bevvverage: thats not ok

benny: im fine

october 19th 2019, 11:20am

disrespectfulbitch-itsjuststan

disrespectfulbitch: um……

itsjuststan: what?

disrespectfulbitch: eddie is just really hot

itsjuststan: why are you so gay right at this exact moment

disrespectfulbitch: hes wearing teeny tiny shorts

disrespectfulbitch: and he let me paint his nails and their pink and im gayyyy

itsjuststan: ok

itsjuststan: why do i feel like you are hiding under your bed

disrespectfulbitch: bc i am 

disrespectfulbitch: its the perfect vantage point to stare at his leggggs

itsjuststan: stop being horny 

disrespectfulbitch: i cant just stop

disrespectfulbitch: duh

bevvverage-eddiek

bevvverage: omg im having feelings

eddiek: same tho

eddiek: whats up with el and max?

bevvverage: what abt richie?

bevvverage: oh wait lets type it at the same time

bevvverage: el is wearing a skirt and max is just wearing a really big hoodie and asdjklfsjkjsahgkjhgh im d y i n g 

eddiek: richie is hiding under his bed but before he was wearing a sleeveless crop top and i cant believe he has small abs and im dying i want to lay on them and have a noice pillooooowww

bevvverage: wow y r u so horny on main

eddiek: this i s not main?

bevvverage :ok so you want to lick his abs is what i heard there

eddiek: well you want to make out with el and max so ha

bevvverage: um wow eddie really telling the truths here

eddiek: ok look i know you like them 

eddiek: and like thats cool 

eddiek: but i feel like ur panic is a little more than that?

bevvverage: ok well max just told me that i looked nice today and i think i blushed so hard

bevvverage: and el decided to sit on my bed with me while max went to a class and we watched b99 together and i blushed myself to death

eddiek: wow thats a bit of a mood

bevvverage: yep 

bevvverage: ok but like richie?

eddiek: omfg he painted my nails and their pink and omfg he was so close to me i wanted to kiss him so bad

bevvverage: wow thats 

eddiek: and like i tried to get him to do something by wearing my shorts bc like…

eddiek: legs

eddiek: and hes just under his bed now i feel like i took it too far

bevvverage: i bet youre making him horny

eddiek: um no, hes probably just having the a n x i e t y 

bevvverage: yeah then maybe you should go lay down with him and help him out??????

disrespectfulbitch-itsjuststan

disrespectfulbitch: um eddie is sitting on his bed and swinging his legs and i want to go up and kissssss him

itsjuststan: ok so you should probably just do that

disrespectfulbitch: but i dont think he likes me that way

itsjuststan; wtf richie

disrespectfulbitch: yeah sorry i didnt mean to put this on you

itsjuststan: richie no im sorry i didnt mean it like that

itsjuststan: just that of course eddie like you

disrespectfulbithc: please stop lying to me

itsjuststan: im not lying 

itsjuststan: picturesistolefrombeverly.jpg

disrespectfulbitch: fhjfjfjiurgfisudfhwiugishvfuihweiufheehfiuewhat the fuck stan

itsjuststan: its true that is texts from eddie to beverly

disrespectfulbitch: wtf

disrespectfulbitch: im gonna be mad at you later and talk abt how eddie just slid under my bed with me and we r gonna watch b99 together on his phone

itsjuststan: ok so why are you mad at me?

disrespectfulbitch: bc photoshopping texts between bev and eddie abt eddie liking me isnt cool

itsjuststan: its not a lie i didn't make it ask beverly

disrespectfulbitch: im actually going to do that

disrespectfulbitch: if i find out you lied im sorry but im un-adopting you

itsjuststan: ok

disrespectfulbitch-bevvverage

disrespectfulbitch: photoshopbystan.jpg

bevvverage: wtf stans a little bitch

disrespectfulbitch: well i dont believe it

bevvverage: its true

bevvverage: go get your mans

disrespectfulbitch: first i have to go apologize to stan

richie finished texting out his apology to stan, it went something like ‘im sorry i didnt believe you, im readopting you funky little child. im sorry.’

once the text was sent he looked over at eddie, who was lying next to him on the floor, under the bed. richie couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. but considering that he just found out his crush liked him back, he was allowed to be nervous, right? 

richie turned his head towards eddie, just watching eddie choke out a bit of laughter at the characters on their show. he couldn't help but stare at the other teen’s cheek, which was just so soft, just sitting there under eddie's beautiful eyes. richard tozier had absolutely 0 impulse control and so he just reached out and poked eddie’s cheek. “richie?”

“sorry, i just really wanted to poke you.” richie blushed as eddie blushed too. maybe stan and beverly were right? maybe eddie did like richie, and that was why he was blushing. or you know they are under a bed and it is getting hot, but like regular hot, not sexual tension hot.

“if you poke me again i will poke you back,” eddie warned with a smile on his face, the smaller boy trying to intimidate richie and failing miserably. the two going back to watching brooklyn 99.

october 20th 2019, 11:14am  
losers club

mikey: hi everyone

bevvverage: hey mike!!!

benny: hello 

disrespectfulbitch: hi everybody!!!

itsjuststan: whats up guys?

benny: not much 

benny: i just want everyone to remember that math sucks and i want to cry

bevvverage: oh no ben

disrespectfulbitch: ben are you okay?

benny: its just math

eddiek: math is the only thing allowed to disappear forever

disrespectfulbitch: except for ghosts

disrespectfulbitch: but yes math sucks and really should not exist

benny: that is true

mikey: hey anyone else pissed rn?

benny: just at math 

benny: though i'm sure you're not talking about math

mikey: yeah no im not talking abt math

bigbill: whats up?

mikey: its just… i got pulled over yesterday

itsjuststan: wait but you dont have a car?

mikey: yeah i borrowed will’s car to drive over to pick up a fan for the dorm room

bevvverage: oh… why do i feel like this is gonna be bad?

mikey: because this went pretty bad

mikey: yeah so i got pulled over and they were like ‘license and registration’ and said all that legal stuff

mikey: so i gave him my license and he looked so fucking shocked i wanted to scream

eddiek: oh no mike, that sucks

mikey: i mean its not the worst thing to happen 

bigbill: but it must have hurt

bevvverage: im sorry, i dont really understand why thats bad???

bevvverage: im sorry

mikey: its just that it kind of sucks that he immediately assumed that i was doing something illegal

bevvverage: oh yeah that would really feel awful

disrespectfulbitch: mikey do you have classes at 12?

mikey: no?

disrespectfulbitch: @eddie lets goooooooo

eddiek: your the one still in bed

disrespectfulbitch: well now im up where the fuck are you?

eddiek: outside the dorm 

eddiek: move it

mikey: are you doing what i think you're doing???

disrespectfulbitch: mayyyyyybeeeeee

mikey: are you running over here to make me feed you again

eddiek: your only halfway right

disrespectfulbitch: we r coming to hugggg u

eddiek: bc your such a good frieenddd

mikey: was that a mean girls reference

eddiek: mean girls the musical yes

mikey: are you running and texting??

eddiek: no im using text to speech richie watch out u ass

mikey: richie???

eddiek: eddie im fine stop yelling ok sorry richie run faster eddie you have small legs shut the fuck up

bevvverage: wait what???

itsjuststan: richie is fine and eddie has small legs

bevvverage: thanks for the translation

mikey: im sobbing

mikey: they came up to my room and gave me a very big hug

mikey: and then apparently they brought burgers bc that's happening right now 

mikey: i hate to say it guys

mikey: but richie and eddie might just be the best

bevvverage: wha?????

bigbill: roodddd???

itsjuststan: thats ok

bigbill: is it tho????

bigbill: is it????

mikey: comeon they brought me burgers

mikey: they are very nice

eddiek: thanks uwu

disrespectfulbitch: thank u uwuwuwuwuwuwu

eddiek: i would like everyone to know that i did not write that 

eddiek: i had to bathroom and richie stole my phone

eddiek: i would like you all to know that i am better than ‘thanks uwu’

mikey: no one thought that was you

bevvverage: yeah i did

bigbill: except i did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this riveting new chapter that I sort of like, idk.
> 
> Please comment, I swear it makes my day.  
> I will admit I had no idea what I was doing when I started this and now I have nearly 4,000 hits here. I did not expect this, like at all. 
> 
> Seriously I have no idea how this got so big, and like I can't even properly write half the characters.
> 
> I'm glad you guys like this, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. But I know that's sad so I take that back, the best thing that ever happened to me was my sister being born.
> 
> Thank you all,  
> Sammi


	15. Some Angst Up in This Chili's

october 21st 2019, 3:27pm

idfk

jon: i hope you all remember that i didn't ask to be included in this gc

nancywhatsherface: yeah but you're the most active here?

jon: but i didnt ask for this

will: you've wanted to be a part of this since it was created???

jon: no i didnt

jon: thats a lie

jon: what?????

will: :|

jon: ok maybe i wanted to know what was going on in your life??

will: okay i guess thats cool?

mike&ike: i know for a fact that you could be doing this on any other chat than this

jon: except i want to love will everywhere

mike&ike: thats a mood

will: i have no clue wtf is going on?

disrespectfulbitch: idk i guess they love you or something

will: what???

will: i had no clue???

jon: i taught him how to do that??? <<<<3333

will: i regret manythings

will: that was one of them

october 22nd 2019, 2:10am  
losers club

bevvverage: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

bigbill: whats up bev???

bevvverage: im so tired 

bigbill: okay maybe you should sleep?

bevvverage: um no

bevvverage: sleep is for cowards

bigbill: i think you should sleep

bevvverage: yeah but im not going to 

bevvverage: im not having a good day and i dont want nightmares

bigbill: do you want to talk about it???

bevvverage: idk if i've ever talked about it with anyone who isn't my aunt

bevvverage: but i kind of didn't have much of a childhood and sometimes that's hard 

bevvverage: like i told u my dad was shit and sometimes it gets to me

bigbill: to be honest i had a pretty bad childhood, maybe not as terrible as yours or anything

bigbill: but my parents dont exactly talk to me, notice me or support me at all

bigbill: i dont know what happened with you or what went on in your childhood

bigbill: and i dont need to know

bigbill: but what i do know is that you need sleep

bigbill: you still need to keep in touch with your body you cant just ignore it

bevvverage: thank you bill

bevvverage: usually people say something generic like ‘im so sorry you had a crappy childhood, thats awful :(‘

bevvverage: im glad you told me this, your a good friend and i might pass out

bigbill: go to sleep

bevvverage: ok, you have to sleep too tho

bigbill: okay whatever <3

bevvverage: <3

october 22nd 2019, 9:02am  
losers club

disrespectfulbitch: bevvvvvvvvverly

disrespectfulbitch: omg are u ok?

disrespectfulbitch: bev bev bev bev im so sorry i wasnt awake to love u then but i will love you nowwwwwww

itsjuststan: shes probably asleep

bevvverage: i wasnt its ok

bevvverage: i was just subtly crying that richie wanted to help and loves me and shit

disrespectfulbitch: beverly you r gonna make me cry toooooooo

bevvverage: noooooooo

eddiek: you could just cry together?

bevvverage: :’’’’’’””””””””)

bevvverage: i am very sorry for that emoji face

disrespectfulbitch: that do be ok

disrespectfulbitch: apology accepted

bigbill: im just glad u feel better bev

bevvverage: im glad i feel better too lol

eddiek-bevvverage

eddiek: sjkdalsfadjjoiwfjjdifusndbfhiim so gayyyyyyy

bevvverage: i been knew

bevvverage: but what did richie do this time???

eddiek: you know he wasnt asleep last night he was watching shitty movies with me and fjkdfhihfiurhiurh kinda want to marry him hes so sweet

bevvverage: why were you guys watching shittty movies and which shitty movies???

eddiek: twilight and bc my mom called trying to get me to go home again

eddiek: once richie noticed i was pissed at my mom he came over 

eddiek: and he fucking sat next to me 

eddiek: like he just sat with me until she hung up then he hugged me

bevvverage: wow

bevvverage: i would date richie if he did shit like that with me

eddiek: yeah and like then he was just like ‘wanna watch twilight?’

eddiek: so we fucking did

bevvverage: oh wow

bevvverage: thats sweet?

eddiek: i mean it was twilight and he got a little to into it

eddiek: so like it was kinda funny

bevvverage: wait, he actually likes twilight???

eddiek: yeah its kind of cute 

bevvverage: you should just bone and get it over with

eddiek: no bev, he dosent like me that wayyyyyy

bevvverage: you know what

bevvverage: im so done with this

bevvverage: ididnotstealthisfromstan.jpg

eddiek: what?

eddiek: no way this is photoshopped or something

eddiek: thats crazy

eddiek: thats insane 

eddiek: i dont believe this

eddiek: im just gonna go die 

eddiek: i cant fucking believe this its insane 

eddiek: wtf

eddiek: is this photoshopped

bevvverage: i cant believe this 

bevvverage: yes richie likes you

bevvverage: no its not a photoshopped picture

bevvverage: please just go kiss him

eddiek: why would i do that

eddiek: i dont think he really likes me anyways

bevvverage: okay how much proof do you need?

eddiek: just him telling me straight to my face

bevvverage: well i cant help with that

eddiek: thats ok ill wait 

reddie

bevvverage: i made a mistake

itsjuststan: thats ok i made one too

bevvverage: i dotn think its the same one 

bigbill: you should type and send at the same time

bevvverage: k

itsjuststan: ok

bigbill: 1

bigbill: 2

bigbill: 3

itsjuststan: i sent richie bevs convo with eddie

bevvverage: i sent eddie stans convo with richie

itsjuststan: what?

mikey: so they both know?

bigbill: this is a fuckign mess

bevvverage: yeah it is

benny: wtf are we supposed to do abt this now?

mikey: i think we’ve meddled enough

benny: yeah

itsjuststan: im not gonna stop talking to richie tho

bevvverage: and im not gonna stop talking with eddie

bigbill: we dont expect u too

bigbill: their your friends your allowed to talk to them

benny: ^agreed

itsjuststan: k.

bevvverage: u guysss r the best

bigbill: *gays 

eddie couldn't wait, he needed to figure out a way to make richie confess. mostly because he actually did believe richie liked him, and definitely not because he just really, really, really wanted the taller boy to like him.

“hey richie,” eddie asked over the table they were using in the library, which they had finally been allowed back into. 

“yeah?” richie wondered, looking up at eddie through his curls. 

eddie wondered how one human being could be so gorgeous and brilliant and funny and, “oh…” eddie almost got lost in the other boy's eyes. “right, um, i guess i just wanted to know if we were gonna get dinner tonight or what?” trying to subtly ask richie out.

richie looked confused, “weren't we just gonna to get pizza?” 

eddie tensed up, he had forgotten about that. “ok do you want to maybe go out for pizza instead of eating it in the dorm?” 

“sure, i guess it makes sense to do that,” richie smiled at the smaller boy, thinking ‘did eddie just ask me out on a date?’

eddie was thinking, ‘did i just actually ask richie out on a date?’

now look, eddie did ask richie on a date, but neither actually realized that it was a date. even during the whole pizza fiasco neither thought ‘well this seems very date-like?’ 

only a few people thought it was a date, an older woman who they passed, the teenage boy manning the register at the pizza place, and one of the soccer moms who took their kid for pizza after his game. all three thought the two were dating, that they were completely in love, just from watching them talk to each other. 

richie and eddie were oblivious though, talking and laughing like normal. 

after their pizza they began to walk back to the dorm room. it was getting dark out, but the city was bright and bustling. it seemed to eddie that the whole world was frozen, except for new york, new york never stopped. he mentioned this thought to richie, who grew quiet. 

“you know, i've always wondered if time stood still in derry,” richie said, so quietly eddie almost missed it. richie’s tone was so soulful and sad that eddie couldn't help but take the taller boy’s hand in his own. 

eddie looked over at richie, “i wondered that too, but then i realized that if time stood still there, all i had to do was escape and then everything would be right.” 

richie smiled, “and we did, everything is right.”

“we escaped,” eddie whispered. 

“yeah, we did.” richie took eddie’s other hand and they looked around at the movement of the world as it all moved around them, as if the universe needed them to be the centre of everything.

this was their moment and nothing in the whole entire world could ruin it.

eddiek-bevvverage

eddiek: wtf 

bevvverage: r u still reeling from what i told u earlier?

eddiek: um no

eddiek: i think richie and i just went on a date?

bevvverage: what do u mean? 

eddiek: um we went for pizza and then on the walk back we had a serious converstion™ and it was really nice

bevvverage: yeah that sounds like a date to me

bevvverage: did u like it?

eddiek: it was fuckign amazing

eddiek: im just worried that richie might have thought it wasnt a date or something??????

bevvverage: ill have stan ask

eddiek: no, you dont have to

eddiek: actually pls dont

eddiek: i want everything to be right when i finally ask him out

eddiek: lets say this wasn't a date ok???

bevvverage: can i just say…

bevvverage: ur the fuckign cutest

eddiek: thats a fuckign lie

eddiek: both richie and stan… and like ben and mike and bill and u are cuter than me

bevvverage: u all are equally cute

bevvverage: tho el kinda takes the cake as cutest

eddiek: like im not into girls that way but el is really fricking cute

bevvverage: you dont have to be attracted to girls to appreciate the fact that they could kill you with their beauty

eddiek: yeah i feel that

eddiek: mostly bc i dont really like u in that way but like…

eddiek: you could step on me and i’d thank you

bevvverage: wow…

bevvverage: one date with richie and ur suddenly confidant mc. confidant-pants

eddiek: its all a show

eddiek: i immediately regretted sending that

bevvverage: bc it is or isnt true

eddiek: its so true

bevvverage: wow ok

bevvverage: tbh if i had to fake date anyone it would be u

eddiek: yeah, i could see that

bevvverage: idk i just think it would be the most fun

eddiek: lmao yeah like…

bevvverage: yeah?

eddiek: its just i kinda feel like ur my best friend?

eddiek: is that ok?

bevvverage: yeah ofc<3

bevvverage: tbh your probably my best friend too

bevvverage: maybe also richie but like u and i are closer

eddiek: oh 

bevvverage: u ok?

eddiek: idk ive never had a best friend before so i dont really know how to react to that

bevvverage: what do u mean uve never had a best friend?

eddiek: yeah 

eddiek: my mom never let me do anything as a kid so i never made many friends

eddiek: in school i hung out with the nerds and band kids

eddiek: but never outside of school

bevvverage: so im ur first best friend???

eddiek: yeah

bevvverage: can i tell u smthing personal?

eddiek: yeah!

bevvverage: best friend promise you wont tell anyone?

eddiek: ofc 

bevvverage: ive only had one best friend ever

bevvverage: her name was greta she was the daughter of one of my dads friends

bevvverage: we were friends from kindergarten until 8th grade

bevvverage: or at least i thought we were

bevvverage: i told her all my secrets and i thought she told me all of hers

bevvverage: one day, late 8th grade

bevvverage: she stopped hanging out with me, around when my dad got arrested

bevvverage: i thought it was bc of that

bevvverage: then i found out she had been spreading rumors about me

bevvverage: since like the 6th grade she had been tellign everyone that i was having sex with random guys

bevvverage: i was really lucky that my aunt was moving me or i probably wouldn't have made it past 10th grade it got so bad

eddiek: bev…

eddiek: some kid broke my arm in 7th grade bc he thought i was gay

eddiek: he was rigth but i didnt know that then i was just really fucking scared 

eddiek: dragged me out behind the school one afternoon and beat me up, he didnt stop until he heard my arm snap

eddiek: then he ran away

eddiek: i had a cast for like 6 months bc he kept aggravating it

eddiek: but i got better

eddiek: i still dont really trust people who want to talk to me alone

eddiek: or try to remove me from a group

eddiek: i panic

bevvverage: oh eddie

bevvverage: i still ahev a hard time trusting people

bevvverage: but u guys are different

eddiek: no one will do anythign about it if you tell them

bevvverage: same with your story too tho

eddiek: yeah

bevvverage: yeah

disrespectfulbitch-itsjuststan

disrespectfulbitch: hey

itsjuststan: u ok?

disrespectfulbitch: im… fine

itsjuststan: why dont i believe that?

disrespectfulbitch: idk 

disrespectfulbitch: maybe bc im lyign and ur a human lie detector

itsjuststan: wanna try all this again?

disrespectfulbitch: hi

itsjuststan: u ok?

disrespectfulbitch: no.

itsjuststan: whats up?

disrespectfulbitch: i feel like eddie and i went on a date

disrespectfulbitch: but like… 

disrespectfulbitch: i still dont think he likes me that way

itsjuststan: what do u mean?

disrespectfulbitch: just…

disrespectfulbitch: people dont like me

disrespectfulbitch: im too much or not enough im always at 100% or at 0%

disrespectfulbitch: most people dont like that, its too much of a switch for them to handle

disrespectfulbitch: i wouldnt be surprised if eddie realized im a shit person

disrespectfulbitch: like he probably wants to be with someone whos got their life together

disrespectfulbitch: and like who’s parents are cool

disrespectfulbitch: and who is happy all the time

disrespectfulbitch: and who isn't monumentally fucked up

itsjuststan: im sorry richie but i have to say this

itsjuststan: please shut your fuck up

itsjuststan: you’re incredible

itsjuststan: you’re nice and sweet

itsjuststan: people dont want someone whos happy all the time they want a human being

itsjuststan: no one is perfect

itsjuststan: i have to tell myself that all the time

itsjuststan: the more you say it they more you believe it

itsjuststan: you are exactly they way you were ment to be

disrespectfulbitch: stan…

disrespectfulbitch: so are you

disrespectfulbitch: you are sweet and kind and put up with my shit

itsjuststan: theres nothing to put up with

disrespectfulbitch: and u type really fuckign fast???

itsjuststan: yup

disrespectfulbitch: but even if you werent born the way you may have liked would you change that?

itsjuststan: no.

itsjuststan: i love being me

itsjuststan: just sometimes me is hard to be

disrespectfulbitch: yeah, that is true

disrespectfulbitch: me is hard to be

itsjuststan: you get me richie

disrespectfulbitch: you get me staniel

itsjuststan: and there you go

disrespectfulbitch: sorry

itsjuststan: no richie i was joking

itsjuststan: its ok

itsjuststan: i actually like the nickname even if i pretend i dont

itsjuststan: but dont tell anyone or i will have to kill you

disrespectfulbitch: *gaspe* you really are a deamon huh?

itsjuststan: you cant prove anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing well and staying sane in quarantine <3
> 
> I had so much fun writing this chapter, I mean except for the angst part, that was hard to write. But it was a necessary evil for this book to get where I want it to go.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you are staying safe, please comment any shenanigans you want the losers to get up to bc I'm kinda out of ideas rn. Thanks, you guys you're literally amazing!!!
> 
> Sammi


	16. Thrift Stores and Walmart

october 23rd 2019, 3:57pm

itsjuststan-disrespectfulbitch

itsjuststan: hey richie?

disrespectfulbitch: yes stanthony

itsjuststan: wtf?

disrespectfulbitch: im tryign new nicknames

disrespectfulbitch: is that one too masc?

itsjuststan: um no its fine

disrespectfulbitch: sorry was that a weird question?????

itsjuststan; no just no ones ever asked me shit like that before

disrespectfulbitch: ?

itsjuststan: well i mean people back in derry dont really acknowledge the gender binary

itsjuststan: so its nice that you asked

itsjuststan: even the most accepting people would just not ask and not do or say the thing

disrespectfulbitch: oh, huh

disrespectfulbitch: i kinda toyed with the idea of not saying anything

disrespectfulbitch: but im kinda really into this nickname thing and adjkjfisufnusd im having so much fun

disrespectfulbitch: but u wanted to talk abt not nicknames?

itsjuststan: yeah

itsjuststan: do you know about polyamoury?

disrespectfulbitch: yeah are u poly?

itsjuststan: um yeah

disrespectfulbitch: oh shit cool

itsjuststan: wait thats it?

disrespectfulbitch: what did you want something more dramatic?

disrespectfulbitch: bc i can do that

itsjuststan: no im ok

disrespectfulbitch: omfg how dare you not tell me stan this is a crucial part of your life how could you just not tell me omg screeeeeeech

disrespectfulbitch: that good????

itsjuststan: just that like most people dont know what it is and arent accepting

disrespectfulbitch: i mean i guess i never thought of it in anyother way then you just having too much love for one person

itsjuststan: wtf richie taht was so nice

disrespectfulbitch: ok but like do u have any crushes?

itsjuststan: um yeah

disrespectfulbitch: is it anyone in the losers club?!!?!?!?

itsjuststan: um…

disrespectfulbitch: oooooh let me guess………

disrespectfulbitch: ben and mike and bill?

itsjuststan: yeah, but not ben

itsjuststan: but like ben is nice though

itsjuststan: i guess i just dont like him that way u know?

disrespectfulbitch: omg ok so mike and bill????????

disrespectfulbitch: didnt u guys do like some movie thing????

itsjuststan: yeah

itsjuststan: we did

itsjuststan: it was really nice

disrespectfulbitch: so you guys watched a movie and what?

disrespectfulbitch: anything s p o i c y

itsjuststan: no.

disrespectfulbitch: ok so what did go on?

itsjuststan: we watched the movie, left in the middle to go get snacks at a gas station and finished the movie then fell asleep

disrespectfulbitch: on eachother?!?!!!?!???!?!?!?!

itsjuststan: on mike, yeah

disrespectfulbitch: omfg my child is growing up so fastttt

itsjuststan: noting even romotely sexual happened

itsjuststan: im just not ok with that

disrespectfulbitch: ok i wont ask about that

itsjuststan: no its ok you can ask i just wont dignify it with a reply

disrespectfulbitch: lmao have i mentioned that i love u stan?

itsjuststan: yeah a couple of times

itsjuststan: im kidding i love u too i guess

disrespectfulbitch: <3

itsjuststan: <3

bigbill-eddiek

bigbill: hey eddie

eddiek: oh, bill

eddiek: hi

bigbill: um i kinda wanted to ask u a question? 

eddiek: yeah?

bigbill: so i kinda like someone

eddiek: ok????

bigbill: and r u ok if i talk abt it with you?

eddiek: ofc

eddiek: idk i guess you dont talk too much in the gc’s so i would love to get to know u better

bigbill: idk ive just never had this many people to talk to before and its weird adjusting to having 6 of you blowing up my phone all the time

eddiek: oh

bigbill: no its ok i like it

bigbill: im just not used to it yet

eddiek: no that makes sense

eddiek: i didnt have many friends befor u guys either but im just always on my phone so im quick to respond to texts

bigbill: yeah i can understand that

eddiek: so um you wanted to talk abt crushes?

bigbill: yeah…

bigbill: i mean i kinda need help with mine

bigbill: see i think i like mike…

bigbill: and stan

eddiek: okay so you like both of them???

bigbill: yeah

eddiek: okay well… lemme do some research and ill get back to you

eddiek: in the meantime do u want to talk abt them????

bigbill: wtf eddie ur so nice???

eddiek: yeah i just have 0 energy to be a chaotic bitch today

eddiek: but just enough energy to get lost in the internet

bigbill: you dont have to do this u know

eddiek: no but i want to and im gonna 

bigbill: ok

4:23pm

bigbill-eddiek

eddiek: so theres this thing called polyamory

eddiek: its bascially where you love two or more people equally and you all date and shit

eddiek: or you know you date one of them and also the other

eddiek: but all with love and consent

bigbill: what

bigbill: its actually a thing?

eddiek: yeppers

bigbill: ok

bigbill: thanks eddie

bigbill: youre actually amazing

eddiek: yeah

eddiek: i hoep ur ok that richie helped

eddiek: he dosent knwo the info is for u tho

bigbill: yeah if he dosent know then its all good

mikey-ben

mikey: hey ben how u doing?

benny: im doing good today, u?

mikey: i kinda need to rant abt stan and bill again

benny: ok u go ahead

mikey: its just their so cute u know...stan 

mikey: and bill was so sweet with bev the other night i swear my heart exploded

mikey: and bill and stan and i have a gc and like stan sent a pic of them looking cute and i ...i think i died they’re so hot

mikey: and so we just started sharing pics and the next thing i know i have a picture of bill in a hoodie in my camera roll

benny: wow 

benny: thats a very interesting thing there

benny: though i cant seriously believe theres nothign abt how soft stans hair is or smthing

mikey: omfg

mikey: their hair is soft af

mikey: i just want to pet them forever like?????

mikey: their so adorable and snarky and i want to live with that snark and wake up to it and god im so far gone

benny: yeah u are

benny: i mentioned their hair and u went offffff

mikey: thats because you know their hair is literally so much the best

benny: that makes 0 sense

mikey: it dosent have tooooooooooo

benny: okay and so bills… abs?

mikey: um no…

mikey: wait does he have abs?

mikey: how would u even know that?????????

mikey: have u been secretly boning my crush and u didnt tell me

benny: you have some serious richie energy rn

benny: calm the fuck down 

benny: no i did not ‘bone bill’

benny: i just guesssed

mikey: no

mikey: i like bill’s smile and his words

mikey: remember when bill came over to help me with my english

benny: yeah thats when u realized u ~loooooved~ him and texted me a huge paragraph instead of to ur grandma and that's why we're here

mikey: yeah 

mikey: anyway his words when he helped me… they were scary but i could feel the emotion behind them

mikey: like he crafted them specifically to help me

mikey: god im so whipped

benny: w h i p p e d

mikey: yeah so fuckign whipped

benny: stan could stomp on u and you would thank them

mikey: yeah i would

mikey: mostly bc im nice and also bc i really fuckign like them

benny: yeah

losers club

bevvverage: so hi

benny: hey bev

mikey: hey guys

benny: are u gonna just ignore that fact that we were talking like 2 seconds ago @mikey????

mikey: noooooo

itsjuststan: hello

eddiek: hi

disrespectfulbitch: hewwo binches

disrespectfulbitch: *bitches

bevvverage: whats up u guys?

disrespectfulbitch: my hawwoween costume just got here

disrespectfulbitch: im in love with it jfk;janjira jdsi

bevvverage: is this the sexy bob ross costume????

eddiek: it is… hes wearing it rn

disrespectfulbitch: i haven't taken it off since i got it

disrespectfulbitch: but the wig is itchy so im not wearing that

itsjuststan: on a scale of sexy cat to sexy mr rogers how bad is it?

eddiek: its near the sexy mr rogers but tbh is kinda its own thing

eddiek: its pretty bad

disrespectfulbitch: its very obviously made for boobs so the whole front is like so loose

disrespectfulbitch: i mean the whole thing was obviously made for a female so like its kinda strange fitting but whatever

bevvverage: @eddiek have u gotten ur costume yet?

eddiek: um sort of…

disrespectfulbitch: he has a lot of medical shit but not a lab coat??!??!

disrespectfulbitch: that's blasphemy

bevvverage: ok so eddie do u want to go to a thrift store with me???

eddiek: yeah sure

eddiek: wanna meet up at the park entrance????

bevvverage: sure in 30 minutes

eddiek: ok

itsjuststan: anyone else have their costume

bevvverage: i still need the wedding dress so eddie and i wil get that at the thrift store

bigbill: i got all the shit to be a cowboy

mikey: i wanna be a cowboyyyyyy

bigbill: screeeeeeee

itsjuststan: i got the whole birdwatchers outfit 

benny: i got all the shit to be beetlejuice 

benny: ive just been looking for cheap temporary hair dye

mikey: i decided to be an angel 

mikey: im just gonna be wearing white with a little dinky halo

disrespectfulbitch: i can't wait to see your guy’s outfits

disrespectfulbitch: like seriously i cant wait

beverly met eddie by the metropolitan museum entrance to central park. they took the train down to a thrift shop bev liked and went to for fabrics. 

the two meandered around, looking for a wedding dress that fit beverly right and looked the part of lydia deetz’s dress. they felt fabrics and smelled different dresses, “this one smells like mothballs.” eddie laughed, placing it back on the rack. 

“hah,” bev exclaimed as she felt a cream coloured dress with small beaded flowers embroidered on the chest piece. “i like this one, it's a nice texture.” 

eddie walked over and sniffed the dress, “it smells fine, nothing a little run through the washing machine can't fix.”

bev pulled it off the rack and held it in front of her body, “you think it’ll fit?” 

“yeah, maybe a bit loose around the waist but you can fix that can’t you?” eddie observed, as they moved towards the changing rooms. 

eddie shoved bev into the changing room with the dress and he went to look for a lab coat. he meandered around, he found a couple of white curtains some kids costume pieces but nothing that actually counted. 

“eddie!” he heard from the other side of the mostly empty store. he walked over to see how the dress fit her. bev stood in front of the dressing room in the gown, it went down to her ankles and, as eddie had predicted, was a little loose in the waist. “i like it,” she said, giving a little twirl. “i just need a veil.” 

eddie handed her a couple of lace bits he had found while looking for a coat, “would any of these work?” 

bev took them from him and held one in front of her face, “how does this look?” 

“hmmm, maybe a bit too see through,” eddie replied. “but otherwise it looks nice.” 

bev went back to change into her jeans and hoodie, leaving eddie to wander around again, looking for that damn coat. he finally found something acceptable and went to show bev. “you think this would work?” 

“yeah, i can embroider your name in the corner ‘eddie k md’,” bev laughed, as she took the coat from his hands. they both paid for their things and headed over to the train, where they parted ways with hugs and smiles.

“bye eddie,” bev said, giving him a huge hug, squeezing like she was never gonna see him again.

eddie squeezed back, “bye bev.”

october 24th 2019, 9:21am  
losers club

itsjuststan: yello everyone

itsjuststan: that was richie

disrespectfulbitch: yeah it was

disrespectfulbitch: were at walmart and jfkauiwhfhdjshf stan is so fun wtf

itsjuststan: did you ever doubt????

disrespectfulbitch: i mean not really

bevvverage: what are u guys doing at walmart and which walmart???

disrespectfulbitch: um a walmart and we were just gonna buy tp but now were gonna buy everything

eddiek: you cant buy everything u fucknutt

disrespectfulbitch: well we sure as hell are

itsjuststan :yeah, i have to agree with richie

bevvverage: stan???

itsjuststan: yes

itsjuststan: i genuinely want to buy everything in walmart idk why but i really fucking do

mikey: okay???

benny: what about walmart makes you want to buy everything??????

disrespectfulbitch: theres a lisa frank aisle

itsjuststan: and idk the fucking bike rack

eddiek: why would you want that many pencil, binders, purses and shit

bigbill: also bikes?????

itsjuststan: idk hasnt everyone wanted to buy the whole bike rack at walmart

mikey: ok yeah thats a mood

bevvverage: a real big mood

disrespectfulbitch: yeah plus

disrespectfulbitch: the ~candy aisle~

bevvverage: well fuck

bevvverage: which walmart u asshole?!?!?

disrespectfulbitch: there's one by stan’s school that we r at rn

bevvverage: how long r u planning to be there

disrespectfulbitch: a million years

disrespectfulbitch: but seriously if anyone else wants to come you should bc then we can play hide and seek or some shit

bevvverage: i will run like the wind

eddiek: mikey?

mikey: ok ill meet u at the station?

eddiek: ok

disrespectfulbitch: fucking litttttt

bigbill: nobody says lit anymore

disrespectfulbitch: yeah well i do 

itsjuststan: u coming bill??

itsjuststan: ben?

benny: sorry i just checked my phone

benny: i’d love to ill be there soon

bigbill: im coming

bigbill: ill be there 

richie: cant fuckign wait!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> I just want to apologize for what's about to happen, not in the book or anything, though I suppose I should apologize for that too. But no, the real apology is about updates after this... my laptop broke and I currently don't have the money to fix it, so updates will be few and far between. I am using the family computer so I should still be able to write, but my family also needs to use it. 
> 
> Anyway, now that you know that all is well <3  
> Sammi


	17. Bike Rack at Walmart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a bit light on the text, I couldn't really think of anything special for this chapter.

october 24th 2019, 9:43am

richie was the seeker. everyone else had hidden in different places around the superstore and it was richie’s job to find them. 

he decided the best place to look was that string pit of bouncy balls. richie thought that would be where eddie was, or maybe bill. bill seems like the kind of person to get stuck in a ball pit. 

richie made his way over, there was a family in the aisle, a young daughter and her dad looking at the doctor toys. the teenager poked at one of the balls, it pushed back a bit but not enough for richie. 

“look, if you’re in there, please come out. i really don't want to climb in and make everyone think i'm crazy,” richie whispered to the ball pit. sure that if anyone could see him they would probably admit him to a mental hospital. 

the balls did not respond. 

richie sighed and shoved his whole arm into the pit, feeling around for anyone. the whole process took less than a minute, and ended when his fingers brushed against warm, human, skin. 

“gotcha,” he almost shouted, before reining in his own voice. “i’ve gotcha.” he tugged and mike, probably the only person besides benny that richie didn't expect, came tumbling out of the ball pit and got caught in the string. 

“hi,” the human being, stuck in a freaking ball pit, said, sheepishly. giving a little wave with the hand not stuck in the netting of the pit. 

“how are you planning on getting out?” richie asked, tilting his head so he could look mike in the face.

mike looked right back, “very carefully.” 

mike got out and they began looking for the others, they found beverly hiding in the middle of a dress rack and ben hiding behind a stack of tablets in the electronic section. the four meandered around the store, still on the lookout for stan, bill and eddie. 

“you should check for stan in the bike rack,” bev told him as they hunted through a display of bread. 

richie remembered stan’s insurance that they were gonna buy out the bike rack. “thats a good idea bev.” 

“just don't tell stan i reminded you, i kinda feel like they’re a stickler for rules.” bev stood from her position crouching on the floor. 

mike spoke, “we should go if we wanna find him.” richie agreed and so they strutted off, looking like the avengers or some super squad. 

they looked around the bicycle area, and, seeing no place to hide, richie plopped down on the floor. “we’re never gonna find them,” he sighed, feeling like everything was hopeless.

mike sat next to him, “it's a game richie. you can forfeit if it's too much.” 

richie looked at mike like he was crazy. “you’re crazy.” 

“what?” 

“i can't forfeit, that's not how this works.” richie looked squarely at mike's face. mike felt like he was under a microscope, like richie was staring into his skeleton. 

bev looked over at them, “yeah, you can't forfeit hide-and-seek. there are rules.” 

mike was confused, but he didn't really want to know the rules. they were probably some weird shit about helping people and hiding in the same place, maybe something about whoever gets to a spot first gets to hide there. mike really didn't care that much. 

“we have to find them,” richie griped. “we just have to.” 

ben spoke up, “i know we aren't supposed to help, but-”

“no helping, benny.” richie turned and pointed at ben, making his point.

ben snapped his mouth shut, and then looked up at the ceiling. 

richie looked at him, confused. “whatcha looking at ben?” he wondered.

“you said you don't want help,” benny mumbled, still looking up towards the ceiling. “i’m not helping.” he turned his head back down, looking towards richie, who was battling with himself. should he look up or follow the rules and not use the help ben gave him?

“just look up,” bev whispered as she looked up. 

richie gave up. he looked up to the ceiling and saw, nothing? “so exactly what are we looking at?” 

it was mike’s turn to look at richie as if he was insane, “you don't see them?” 

richie looked harder and saw them, perched on top of the bike rack, clutching to the bike rack bar. 

“stan, you’re caught.” richie called.

“yeah, but ben helped so it didn't count.” stan looked stuck.

“are you stuck?” mike called.

“no!” mike gave them a look. “yes.”

richie sighed, “how did you even get up there?” 

“sheer stubbornness,” stan called down. richie realized that they were kind of scared.

“should we call someone to get them down?” bev whispered, trying to keep stan asap, as sane as possible. 

richie replied just as quietly, “send ben to the front desk, and be quick.” this game of hide-and-seek wasn't worth stan’s sanity. “should i text eddie and bill?” 

bev nodded as she watched mike talk to stan, the concern evident in the taller teen’s voice.

richie pulled out his phone and sent a text to the group chat.

losers club

disrespectfulbitch: @eddiek @bigbill meet us at the bike rack asap

ben came back a few minutes later, bill and an employee at his side. “what the hell is going on?” the employee, who’s name tag says is chris, wondered. once he saw stan he swore and said, “i should probably call the fire department, right? yeah, i should go do that.” chris walked away, hopefully to call the fire department and not to quit his job and find some nicer, less stressful, job. 

chris returned, less than 3 minutes later with his manager, a woman with a tag that said, kamalah. kamalah sighed, “you all seem like a nice bunch so i’m sorry to say that, once your friend gets down you’ll have to be banned from the store.” 

richie was pissed, “common, over hide-and-seek?” 

“i’m just doing my job kid.” kamalah adjusted her headwrap, “i really don't want to ban you, but i don't have a choice. sitting on the bike racks isn't allowed.” 

stan was practically shaking. “it's ok though, kid. we’ll have you down in a jiff.” the manager called up to stan, who relaxed, minutely. 

the fire department came and so did eddie, showing up with a yell almost as loud as the fire truck’s siren. kamalah gave eddie a look, a sharp one, a look that said ‘i-know-your-panicking-but-its-not-helping-so-shut-the-fuck-up.’ eddie followed kamalah’s unspoken order and crumpled on the floor. 

richie sat down next to eddie, the two leaning against a shelf of bike supplies, a helmet digging into richie’s shoulder blade. “you ok?” 

“i don't know,” eddie mumbled, very quietly. “i don't feel ok, but i know stan is more not ok than me, so it really doesn't matter.” 

“this isn't a not-ok measuring contest,” richie said. eddie giggled and laid his head on richie’s shoulders. 

they watched the firemen work to get stan down, and waved to mike who was still trying to calm them down. bill had decided to help. those two could hold a ‘distracting 101’ class and never actually teach anything. it was kind of funny to watch,eddie and richie watched them distract with fond looks on their faces. beverly and ben were standing on the side, staying out of the fire people’s way. 

stan got down eventually. after three billion sigh’s from kamalah, and a lot of face palming from chris. once stan’s feet were on the floor they immediately started to tear up. richie stood up and ran over, but mike and bill got there first. bev and ben ran after and quickly they were all huddled around stan, giving them a huge group hug. 

“look, i know this is emotional or whatever, but you guys do have to leave.” kamalah walked over, and gave them a nice look. un-like her ‘shut-the-fuck-up’ look this one was more of a ‘please-take-your-time-i-know-that-was-tramatic-i’m-sorry’ look.

“ok,” stan whispered, their voice a little raspy from talking louder so they could hear him earlier. 

the whole group stood up together, some helping others up from their little cuddle pile. chris waved as they left. kamalah gave a parting sigh and the small group left, making their way to the subway.

“damn i forgot the toilet paper.” 

october 24rd 2019, 11:40am

losers club

disrespectfulbitch: ok guyyysssss

eddiek: ?

disrespectfulbitch: @bigbill and @eddiek where were u guys hiding?????

bigbill: behind the paper towels

eddiek: pharmacy

bevvverage: ok but behind/in what????

bevvverage: eddie???

eddiek: no i was just walking around

eddiek: not even hiding

disrespectfulbitch: *gaspe* how dare

disrespectfulbitch: much blasphemeeeee

bevvverage: screeeeee

itsjuststan: looking back on it that was kinda fun

itsjuststan: but too late now

itsjuststan: not happening again

bigbill: how did u even get up there in the first place?

itsjutstsan: like i said, sheer willpower

itsjuststan: and some weird ass footholds

disrespectfulbitch: ass footholds??????????????

itsjuststan: really richie???

benny: guess what?

bevvverage: chicken butt

benny: no the guy from walmart

benny: chris

benny: in my math class

benny: he used to sit next to me

eddiek: what???

bevvverage: he seemed so done with us lmao

benny: yeah he saw me in class today and walked out

benny: he turned and walked back in but he’s definitely scared of us or some shit

mikey: im not surprised

bevvverage: ok but in that walmart i found my role model

disrespectfulbitch: kamalah???

bevvverage: abso-fucking-loutely

bevvverage: she had the looks™ and the sighs™ and omfg shes amazing

itsjuststan: she is really nice

itsjuststan: helped calm me down a lot while i was up there

mikey: we should thank her

bevvverage: we should send her flowers or something

benny: and like nice little messages

disrespectfulbitch: ur too wholesome ben

benny: thanks?

disrespectfulbitch: ur welcome

eddiek: al in favor of making a nice gift basket for kamalah and making chris bring it to her

disrespectfulbitch: aye

itsjuststan: i

bigbill: i 

benny: aye

bevvverage: aye

mikey: aye

disrespectfulbitch: ok who wants to organize

benny: i guess since its all going to chris who’s with me ill do it

bevvverage: ok we’ll send stuff to u 

disrespectfulbitch: lets try to aim for hawwoween

bigbill; good idea!

bevvverage: im going to make some origami flowers

bevvverage: this is exciteding!!!!!

itsjuststan: thats not a word

bevvverage: its the only thing to describe the feeling in me rn

itsjuststan: i’ll allow it

stan smiled at their cell phone, plugging it in to charge. dustin stood, “talking to your friends?” 

“yeah, got stuck on the bike rack of the walmarts today.” stan said, flippantly. 

there was a crash as dustin fell off his bed in surprise. “wait what???” 

“yeah, i climbed up there for hide-and-seek and couldn't get down,” 

“are you ok?” dustin asked, standing up and re-positioning himself on the bed. 

stan smiled a bit, “yeah, i’m fine.” 

dustin jumped off his bed, suddenly seeming to have too much energy for the small room. “are there any pictures?” he asked, hyped up to see them. 

“maybe, i’ll ask.” stan picked up their phone and texted richie asking if he got any good pictures. richie responded with a yes and 3 pictures, two of which had captions. they pulled up the pictures and turned the phone to dustin.

the first picture was blurry and of stan on the bike rack, it looked like richie was swinging his hand around trying to get a ‘good’ shot. the caption was ‘spotted a wild stanthony’. dustin giggled.

the second picture was more focused and of mike talking to stan, stan sitting in the corner of the frame. looking like a vulture or some type of deranged creature. there was a caption, ‘we tried summoning satan and we got a stan.’

the last one was of stan on the bike rack, perched and hunched over like a condor or vulture. 

dustin thought they were all extremely funny, especially richie’s captions. “you really are some weird cross between satan and an angel,” he giggled.

stan laughed, amused. “alright, i’m going to get some food. you want some?” 

“yeah, sure,” dustin answered and they stood .

“want anything special?” stan opened the door and looked back to speak.

dustin turned, “just mac-and-cheese if there is any.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot shorter than I wanted it to be but, as I said before, I don't really have any good ideas. Anyway, the next few updates will probably be shorter so... get used to it.


	18. 50 Shades of Confusion

october 25th 2019, 3:29 pm  
losers club

eddiek: anyone have any ideas for what to give kamalah?

eddiek: bc i have no fuckign clue what to do

disrespectfulbitch: i told u

disrespectfulbitch: just buy her some alchohol

bevvverage: thats a terrible idea richie

benny: i mean u dont even know if she drinks

mikey: yeah, ben’s right

disrespectfulbitch: ok so what are good gifts for kamalah?

bigbill: idk bens idea of nice notes sounds right

benny: yeah!

benny: we could all make a big jar of sweet notes

bevvverage: and little individual gifts

disrespectfulbitch: ok but like what do women like???

bevvverage: as the only woman i shall make a list

bevvverage: soap bitch

bevvverage: we like soap

bevvverage: and food and gift cards and technology shit

itsjuststan: ok… i call soap

eddiek: bitch i was gonna get soap

bevvverage: theres enough soap to go around guys

bigbill: just get different soaps

bigbill: ill probably get like bread and cheese or something like that

disrespectfulbitch: ok so i should just get her gift cards???

bevvverage: yeah basically

mikey: ok so soap food and gift cards 

mikey: i feel like this is the recipe for disaster

october 25th 2019, 9:20pm  
losers club

bevvverage: i genuinely need to tell u guys this shit so please dont laugh

benny: okay

bevvverage: um…

disrespectfulbitch: hello yes

bevvverage: im reading 50 shades of grey

disrespectfulbitch: um………………...eeeeew

bevvverage: exactly

bevvverage: it was a dare

bevvverage: its terrible

bevvverage: this is literally awful

bevvverage: i want to die

disrespectfulbitch: they do too much sexy timesssssss

bevvverage: have u actually read it???

disrespectfulbitch: yesssssssssssss

disrespectfulbitch: i told myself i was gonna do it so i did and i hated it

bevvverage: its so creeeeeeeeepy

disrespectfulbitch: they grey man is so weird and controlling and grosssssssss

bevvverage: exactly its so fuckign terrible i will never fuckign watch the movie

bevvverage: im just about to read the second book and i regret my whole lifeeeeeeeee

disrespectfulbitch: there is too much nasty times

disrespectfulbitch: and the fillers are shit

disrespectfulbitch: its all shit

bevvverage: the plot is shit

bevvverage: some of the facts are actually weird as fuck

itsjuststan: why are we talking about the sex book???????

bevvverage: because i made a mistake

disrespectfulbitch: i made a mistake in high school by reading this book

disrespectfulbitch: well i made a lot of mistakes in highschool

disrespectfulbitch: but this one was the worst

itsjuststan: i read it

itsjuststan: i hated it

itsjuststan: i read it because i wanted to see how shit it was

itsjuststan: it was the shittiest 

bevvverage: and like just fuck its weirdddddddddddddddddd

disrespectfulbitch: there is literally nothing interesting about these books

bevvverage: there is nothing interesting about the characters

itsjuststan: literally the every book in the series is disinteresting

bevvverage: i’m halfway through the second book and its slightly more interesting than the first

itsjuststan: yeah the first one was just sex and shit

disrespectfulbitch: we arent calling it s-e-x its nasty times and nasty business

itsjuststan: okay???

bevvverage: yeah the smexy business is nasssssssty 

bevvverage: ew

itsjuststan: ok but back to my point 

itsjuststan: there is no point to this book

bevvverage: is there any point to life?

disrespectfulbitch: no.

bevvverage: ok

benny: so ive just been watching here and i don't really understand bc i've never read it bc eeew

mikey: same

eddiek: i just showed up

eddiek: i will say i never read it and i'm not going to read it

eddiek: because i don't want to and also grosssssss

bevvverage: mood

disrespectfulbitch: also like… the book is just so bad

disrespectfulbitch: from an author standpoint

bigbill: i heard u talking bout meeeeee

disrespectfulbitch: ????

bigbill: author????

bigbill: meeeeeee

bigbill: *le gaspe* i am author

bigbill: yeet

disrespectfulbitch: oh sheet i did forget that information?

disrespectfulbitch: have u read the nasssssty book???

bigbill: yeet :(

disrespectfulbitch: is that a yes?

bigbill: yessssssss :(

bigbill: i hate it 

bigbill: i hate the world

bigbill: the characters were so bad

bigbill: like fuckign cookie cutter people

bigbill: and the plotline needs to dieeeeee

bigbill: their so bad like so terrorible 

bigbill: i don't even want to think about it anymorrrreeeee

disrespectfulbitch: so dont

bevvverage: switch tracks

disrespectfulbitch: change trains

bevvverage: off topic questions

disrespectfulbitch: lets leave

bevvverage: quinceanera!!!!

itsjuststan: this is very strange???

benny: quinceanera??

bevvverage: quinceanera!!!!!!!!!!!

disrespectfulbtich: ok but has anyone ever been to a quinceanera?

benny: yep

eddiek: i was at one for like .123466532578975 seconds

eddiek: my mom brought me and then got pissed and we left

benny: it was my cousins and we left early because we needed to drive home before our dog peed all over the floor

disrespectfulbitch: ok but now i need dog storiesssss

benny: her name was lucifer and my mom hated her

benny: she was actually evil but i loved her

benny: she was a smol girl 

benny: like a shih tzu + something else

disrespectfulbitch: shit zoo

benny: no.

benny: she liked carrots and broccoli

benny: she is ded now

benny: but that doesn't matter bc she is living in hell as the devil’s handmaiden

benny: anyway she was pretty crazy and would pee on the rug if we didn't come home when we said we were coming back

bigbill: wait how did she know?

benny: we had no idea how she knew

benny: she just did 

benny: if we said we would be home by 3 and we came home at 3:03 she will have peed on the floor

bevvverage: she sounds fantabulous

disrespectfulbitch: lets do petttttttts

disrespectfulbitch: everyone talk abt their childhood pets pls bc i didnt have any

eddiek: me either

mikey: i had a farm???

mikey: so im not gonna tell u guys abt every animal, just the important ones

eddiek: okeyyy

mikey: there was this cow

mikey: nessie, short for vanessa mackleberry the 1500000th 

itsjuststan: the loch ness monster is what she was named after

mikey: my gran named her so thats not my fault

mikey: she was so sweet

mikey: she would let me lay on her

mikey: she died when i was like 10 but she was literally the best

mikey: we also had a farm rat named flompper, a cat named kiki, and a farm dog named, abraham michael hanlon

disrespectfulbitch: abraham michael hanlon is going to be my sonnnnn

mikey: he is very old and will probably die soon :’(

bevvverage: that is very sadddddddd

bigbill: u go next bev?

bevvverage: okeyyyyy

bevvverage: i never had animals when i lived with my dad but when i moved in with my aunt she had a few petsssss

bevvverage: we had 2 cats a doggie and a couple of reptiles

bevvverage: i will tell u of all of themmmmm

disrespectfulbitch: please do

bevvverage: ok so the cats are named olive and oil and they are very cat

bevvverage: the doggie is a samoyed her name is mellow and our last name is marsh so her name is mello marsh

disrespectfulbitch: what??????? that is adorableleellelel

bevvverage: i know right

bevvverage: my aunt thought she was hilarious

bevvverage: we had a snake and two iguanas

bevvverage: the snek was named mr quash

bevvverage: and iguana 1 and iguana 2 were named frick and frack and they are my children and i would die for them

bevvverage: i am done!

disrespectfulbitch: okey dokey 

disrespectfulbitch: stan, bill??????

itsjuststan: ok i guess i ll go?

itsjuststan: i had a cat once

itsjuststan: his name was max

itsjuststan: he hated me i hated him

itsjuststan: it was a mutual hateship

itsjuststan: and that's it

bevvverage: you only had one pet ever???

itsjuststan: yeah

itsjuststan: i didn't like max so i kind of never wanted pets again

itsjuststan: but like i didn't try again bc my parents said i couldn't

itsjuststan: they said that if i hate animals i shouldn't have any

itsjuststan: but i never had any other animals besides an evil cat

disrespectfulbitch: ok but who named max?

itsjuststan: me?

itsjuststan: its a nice name?

itsjuststan: like what else should i have called him?

mikey: literally nothing max is the best dog neam

bigbill: i guess its my turn now?

bevvverage: i guess

bigbill: so when i was little i had a cat, his name was kelly

bigbill: literally no one complained about his name and i was 3 so i didnt care

bevvverage: kelly is a fuckign boss ass cat name

bigbill: i remember kelly being really cuddly and she really liked to eat

bigbill: around the end of her life she was like super fat but she still tried to chase squirrels

disrespectfulbitch: does this mean i never get to meet kelly?

bigbill: yeah she passed when i was like 8 or 9

mikey: :(

bigbill: yeah, we put her in my backyard

bigbill: she has a little rock headstone and i wrote on it in graphite when i was 9

bevvverage: what did u write

bigbill: kelly: he was fat

disrespectfulbitch: damn, baby bill was a savage

bigbill: i mean it was also what i said when we buried him 

bigbill: ‘mom, what if kelly doesn't fit in the hole? will we have to cut him in half?’

bevvverage: wow

bevvverage: did he fit?

bigbill: no

eddiek: did u have to cut him in half???

bigbill: no my dad just made the hole wider

bigbill: but i was very scared he was gonna cut kelly in half

disrespectfulbitch: thats traumatizing

itsjuststan: ok btu like thats actually something that i thought when i was little

bevvverage: that ur dead cat was too fat to fit in his grave???

itsjuststan: no um…

itsjuststan: i thought that when people died they were put under the headstones 

itsjuststan: like actually under the headstones

itsjuststan: basically i thought people were buried vertically

bevvverage: ok back to animals and not dead people any more please and thank you im not in the right mindset to receive this information 

bigbill: oh, ok

bigbill: so then my brother was born somewhere before then so we didnt get another animal for a couple years

bigbill: but… then they got my brother a turtle

bigbill: his name was maturin and he was so weird

disrespectfulbitch: ok 2 questions

disrespectfulbitch: 1 how did ur brother come up with that name???

disrespectfulbitch: and also what do u mean he was weird?

bigbill: idk how he came up with the name and that turtle was always escaping 

bigbill: like all the time

bigbill: he would always escape for literally no reason at literally every time of the day and night

bevvverage: ok but where would he go?

bigbill: everywhere and anywhere

itsjuststan: ok but like where are places u would find it???

bigbill: well he ended up in the quarry once

bigbill: i found him outside that weird house on neibolt street

bigbill: once i found him on the steps of the synagogue

bigbill: i remember finding him in front of the pharmacy??????

bigbill: and by the river???

bigbill: georgie found him in the pond at mike's farm once, remember

bigbill: it was all really weird

bigbill: like there was no way he could have gone that far but he did????

mikey: wait that was his turtle??

mikey: i just thought he grabbed a random turtle and said it was his?

bigbill: yeah maturin was recognizable somehow 

bigbill: he was just the strangest turtle

bevvverage: but like… thats kinda weird

bigbill: seeeeee???

bevvverage: no because my house with my dad was by the river and i used to sit down there and smoke?

disrespectfulbitch: i used to hang out at the quarry

benny: i was obsessed with the old neibolt house for a while in highschool

benny: its historical significance is actually pretty cool

itsjuststan: my dad was the rabbi at the synagogue

eddiek: i went to the pharmacy almost every week for stupid prescriptions my mom made me take

mikey: i live at the hanlon farm

bigbill: wait so maturin was trying to lead me to u guys???

itsjuststan: maybe???

disrespectfulbitch: i mean it kind of seems that way

bigbill: so im gonna go process

bigbill: the fact that my brothers turtle was trying to get me to meet my college friends that i met through an accident

disrespectfulbitch: wait so does that mean that maturin made me do the number neighbors thing???

bigbill: idfk

bevvverage: so lets all go process ok?

itsjuststan: yeah that makes sense

itsjuststan: processing time 

itsjuststan: yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so guess who's laptop isn't getting fixed so now she's just kind screwed. It's me. Me is the answer. I am using my Dad's computer for now but hopefully, I will be able to use literally any other device because this chair is uncomfy. SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS BECAUSE I BROKE MY BACK FOR THIS CHAPTER. Ok sorry, you guys don't have to like it or anything. (but that would be nice) 
> 
> Idk why I'm telling you guys this because it's irrelevant but, I can really only write this if I have chaotic energy. So if your trying to write something chaotic make sure you drink lots of coffee first and then be really tired and then write something insanely chaotic. I also haven't proofread like most of the first chapters so if there is anything wrong with them or any inconsistencies please please please tell me, because when I re-read my own writing I just skim because I already have my own content memorized. BUT PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS AS A COURT MANDATED JOB OR ANYTHING I REALLY DONT WANT THAT OR ANYTHING. 
> 
> I'm sorry I am very stress about coronavirus and stuff and that's making me sound crazy (also sorry for this insanely long a/n).
> 
> Stay safe everybody,
> 
> Sammi


	19. Where Eddie Needs Help

october 26th 2019, 11:29am  
losers club

bevvverage: processing complete?

itsjuststan: processing complete

bigbill: processing complete

mikey: processing complete

disrespectfulbitch: porcesisng clompete

eddiek: what the fuck richie???

benny: processing complete

bevvverage: okm so basically everyone is done processing bill’s magic turtle

disrespectfulbitch: noooooooo

disrespectfulbitch: porcesisng clompete

eddiek: eew those words sound terrible

disrespectfulbitch: yeah but their my words

disrespectfulbitch: and they are lovely

eddiek: yeah whatever

bevvverage: so …………… 

bigbill: so………………………………

mikey: so???????????

bevvverage: what do we talk abt??????

disrespectfulbitch: ok i have questions abt ur guy’s cousins that i just remembered last night

itsjuststan: okay???

bevvverage: i mean syd might just glomp me before i can answer but i’ll try

benny: is she with you?

bevvverage: no

itsjuststan: questions?

disrespectfulbitch: ok question 1- where exactly do they live???

itsjuststan: pennsylvania

itsjuststan: its like this weird out of time small town

bevvverage: its actually really creepy and similar to derry

disrespectfulbitch: ok 2- stan u said that ur parents are like not creative in naming but didnt stan choose his own name?

itsjuststan: ok so stan might stab me if i telll u the whole thing so ill just make very vague allusions

itsjuststan: lets just say that his parents didn't really pay much attention to him

itsjuststan: like at all

itsjuststan: so he just started calling himself stan and no one really cared

itsjuststan: or not i could just be lying 

disrespectfulbitch: i bet that steve guy would adopt him

itsjuststan: tbh he asked if i wanted to be adopted by him

mikey: wait what?

itsjuststan: yeah

disrespectfulbitch: wait so are u adopted or not????

itsjuststan: maybe…. you'll never know

disrespectfulbitch: i think that means yes???

eddiek: i agree tho

mikey: so all in agreement that steve is stan’s new mom?

benny: yep

disrespectfulbitch: yeet

bevvverage: im not gonna dignify this with a response bc u already know its a yes

eddiek: i already said yes?

bigbill: yeet

itsjuststan: u guys suck

reddie

bevvverage: so…

benny: so?

bigbill: soooooooooooo…..

itsjuststan: so.

mikey: what?

bevvverage: ok anyway i was just wondering if you guys had a plan

benny: plan?

bevvverage: plan for reddie????

itsjuststan: i mean they both know already it just up to them

bevvverage: yeah but their ignoring it

bevvverage: like boys

mikey: u do know you and stan are the only non boys in the group

mikey: right?

bevvverage: let me do me pls :(

mikey: ok sorry

bevvverage: i’m not really mad 

mikey: ok :)

bevvverage: anyway i know we said we werent gonna meddle but i think we might need to

itsjuststan: we cant lock them in a closet for comedic value bc they live together and are weirdly comfortable together

bigbill: what if we get them drunk???

bevvverage: i like where this is going

bigbill: and idk they kiss or whatever

itsjuststan: richie has too many insecurities for that plan

itsjuststan: he would pretend it never happened

bevvverage: shit

bevverage: what abt the halloween party

benny: *hawwoween

bevvverge: right, sorry

bevvverage: the hawwoween party

benny: that actually sounds like a good idea

mikey: ok so at the hawwoween party

mikey: what are we gonna do?

beverage: no idea…..

itsjuststan: maybe ask mike?????????

mikey: i dont know what we could do??????

bevvverage: no the other mike

benny: but i dont think he knows richie any better than we do?

itsjuststan: than will???

itsjuststan: i just think we should cover all our options before we give up

bevvverage: i’ll add them

bevvverage has added mike&ike and will

mike&ike: wtf???????

will: ok so what is reddie?

mike&ike: good question babe

bevvverage: ok so reddie = richie + eddie

bevvverage: and weve been trying to get them together forever

bevvverge: we even tried just telling them but they are dumb bitches and need help

will: ok why do u think we can help?

mikey: i mean you got other mike to date you so maybe you would have an idea???

will: um okay…

will: so im guessing you guys have never asked anyone out???

bevvverage: i mean idk abt you guys but no

mikey: nope

bigbill: yeah

benny: no

bigbill: it didnt go to well tho

itsjuststan: no 

mikey: wdym bill?

bigbill: well she told me to fuck off

bigbill: and thats the story of how i didnt go to prom

benny: oh no bill that's sad

itsjuststan: i didnt go to prom either tho

itsjuststan: i wasnt in the mood to be ridiculed

bevvverage: we have to do a prom then

bevvverage: bc i didnt do prom either 

bevvverage: i didnt have a lot of friends so i just stayed home

bevvverage: the point is we should do a valentines thing???!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

mikey: ok that sounds fun

mikey: but lets talk abt reddie??

bevvverage: yeah!

bevvverage: @will what do we do?????

will: idk what richie and eddie even do with eachother

will: i mean me and mike got together only a year ago

will: and it was kind of in the middle of a crazy part of my life

bevvverage: ok……. but like what should i do abt richie and eddie??????

mike&ike: i mean if he’s anything like me, which he’s probably not, he needs to figure it out for himself

benny: i agree, i think we should leave them alone

benny: let them do their own thing

benny: we tried all we could

bevvverage: ok, i mean i still want to try to get them together

bevvverage: but i guess we could try leaving them alone

itsjuststan: i dont really care as long as i dont spend my whole life listening to richie get all gooey abt eddie

bevvverage: i mean i think it might get worse if they end up dating tbh

mikey: i mean yeah, honeymoon phase and all that

bigbill: so we are in agreement?

will: i mean i think

mike&ike: you guys decide things super strangely

bevvverage: yeah, kind of

benny: i thought that made sense

mikey: yeah…

bigbill: ok, i mean it didnt make 100% sense but it still made sense

itsjuststan: no, you guys make no sense at all

will: you know ur included in that right?

itsjuststan: dont speak to me i am hiding from my shame 

bevvverage: ok i think staniel needs sleep

itsjutstan: sleep is for the weak

bevvverage: i mean i agree

bevvverage: but like

bevvverage: sleep

itsjuststan: frick you 

bevvverage: ok 

october 26th, 8:28pm, 2019

losers club

itsjuststan: i have awoken

disrespectfulbitch: wait what?

bevvverage: i made stan sleep bc they were being wrong weird

itsjuststan: wheres eddie?

itsjuststan: he’s usually here by now?

disrespectfulbitch: hes on a date i think

bevvverage: what????

itsjuststan: text me pls richie

bevvverage-eddiek

bevvverage: why did richie tell me u were on a date?

bevvverage: eddie???

bevvverage: r u ok???

bevvverage: u know he crazy likes you right?????

itsjuststan-disrespectfulbitch

disrespectfulbitch: what the fuck am i supposed to do???

disrespectfulbitch: i cant believe i thought he might actually like me

itsjuststan: i cannot believe him

disrespectfulbitch: ????

itsjuststan: he told bev he liked you?

itsjuststan: so what the fuck is eddie trying to accomplish here?

disrespectfulbitch: it was probably a joke or something

itsjuststan: i don't think so

itsjuststan: you read the same screenshots i did right?

disrespectfulbitch: yeah but it could have been some kind of lie

itsjuststan: do you really think eddie would lie to bev?

disrespectfulbitch: maybe not, i suppose he could be lying about being on a date

disrespectfulbitch: idfk im kinda worried now

itsjuststan: so am i 

itsjuststan: bev is trying to get him to message her

october 26th, 2019, 8:39pm

bevvverage-eddiek

bevvverage: eddie

bevvverage: im so worried

bevvverage: please answer me 

bevvverage: are you ok???

bevvverage: please

bevvverage: please let me know if ur ok

eddiek: im not ok

bevvverage: oh my god

bevvverage: i thought you were hurt or something

eddiek: my mom came

eddiek: i’m headign back to derry rn

bevvverage: what?????!?!?!?!

bevvverage: what do u mean ur mom came?

bevvverage: u said she couldnt drive???

eddiek: this guy is with her

eddiek: i think shes gonna take away my phone if she sees me on it

eddiek: please tell richie i need him to message me, ok?

bevvverage: on it sweetie

bevvverage: i hope your ok

losers club

bevvverage: eddie mom has him

bevvverage: richie u need to text him now

disrespectfulbitch: what the fuck

disrespectfulbitch: ok

best room-mates 4ever

disrespectfulbitch: eds?

eddiek: im sorry 

eddiek: my mom left a dumb note

eddiek: her and this guy have me in their car

eddiek: she wants me home

eddiek: i miss you

disrepsectfulbitch: i miss you too

disrespectfulbitch: i should call the police right???

disrespectfulbitch: this is kidnapping

eddiek: no i think everything will be fine

disrespectfulbitch: eds please

eddiek: everything is gonna be ok ill get her to bring me back

disrespectfulbitch: what do i tell ur professors?

eddiek: family emergency

eddiek: im so sorry che

disrespectfulbitch: its not ur fault eds 

disrespectfulbitch: remember that its not ur fault

disrespectfulbitch: please stay safe

eddiek: my mom would never let me get hurt

disrespectfulbitch: i kinda meant more emotionally

disrespectfulbitch: r u sure i shouldnt call the cops

eddiek: please dont

eddiek: fuck i think she saw me

disrespectfulbitch: eddie!

disrespectfulbitch: wait, eddie

disrespectfulbitch: eds?

eddiek: im gonna miss ur stupid shit richie

disrespectfulbitch: wait, eds dont go 

eddiek: sorry

eddiek: ill see u soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm seriously so sorry.
> 
> There are only a few more chapters left, so I hope you guys stick around.
> 
> Sammi


	20. Eddie has some thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very prose heavy. 
> 
> There is very little 'chat' aspect, so just letting you know.

October 27th 1:15am

Losers Club

Bevvverage: ok, so to recap

Bevvverage: eddies mom and this guy kidnapped him and are taking him to derry

Bevvverage: and eddie dosent want us to call da popo

Bigbill: ok like, this is v traumatic but also 

Bigbill: da popo?

Bigbill: bev????

Bevvverage: i mean…

Bevvverage: thats what their called, da popo

Itsjuststan: well i mean its actually the police

Bevvverage: potato, popo

Bevvverage: same thing

Benny: is eddie going to be ok?

Bevvverage: we dont really know

Bevvverage: his mom took his phone so he cant text

Bevvverage: from what I know abt his mom he should be fine

Bevvverage: but richie knows more and he isnt answering his phone

Itsjuststan: i was on the phone with him for a while

Itsjuststan: i think he fell asleep

Itsjuststan: richie is very not ok

Bevvverage: understandable

Mikey: i really hope eddie is ok

Bevvverage: me too

Benny: yeah

Bigbill: me too

Itsjuststan: if u can see this eddie we miss you and hope your ok

Bevvverage: <3

Bigbill: <3

Benny: <3

Mikey: <3

Itsjuststan: <3

Richie woke up and immediately shoved his face back into his pillow. It was too bright, too many things were going on outside the open window. 

He waited for Eddie to realize that he was awake and drag him into a conversation about something dumb and inconsequential. When the bright voice of his closest friend didn't sound through the room, Richie peeled his face off of his pillow and looked over to Eddie’s bed, which was perfectly made. 

It all came flooding back to him. The absolute panic from the night before gripped its icy hand over his heart again. Richie had forgotten the events of that night, how Eddie wasn't coming back, how he would probably never see Eds again. 

He grabbed his phone, checking the time. It was 10:13 am on the 27th, so close to Halloween. Eddie had been so excited for Halloween, spending a lot of time talking about his costume and being able to meet up with his friends. Richie saw how excited Eds was about having friends to spend time with, it was cute but sad. 

Richie buried his face into his pillow again. He didn't want to see Eddie’s side of the room without the bright smiling boy in it. 

Losers Club

Disrespectfulbitch: hey guys

Bevvverage: hey rich

Bevvverage: u ok?

Disrespectfulbitch: define ok?

Mikey: richie, its not your fault, ok?

Disrespectfulbitch: except it kind of feels like it is

Itsjuststan: richie, im coming over

Mikey: me too

Mikey: just wait in ur dorm, ill bring food

Disrespectfulbitch: k

Disrespectfulbitch: thanks mike

Disprespectfulbitch-eddiek

Disrespectfulbitch: im so sorry eddie

Disrespectfulbitch: you dont deserve any of this

Disrespectfulbitch: im sorry eds

Disrespectfulbitch: please come back

Disrespectfulbitch: I miss you eds

Mike knocked on the dorm room door. “Come in,” Richie called out from inside.

Mike opened the door and walked in, the pancakes he brought warming his hand. “Hey, Richie.” Mike walked in, setting the pancakes down on the desk closest to himself, “Why don't you get out of bed and come eat. I brought pancakes?”

Richie hopped out of bed, a small smile on his face, “Thanks Mikey, you're a peach.” 

Mike could tell the smile was fake, he could tell that everything about Richie was faked, his smile, his enthusiasm, his gusto. None of it was real without Eddie. 

Mike handed Richie the styrofoam container of pancakes, “Eat up.” 

“Damn Mike, these pancakes are drowning!” Richie joked, holding up a forkful of soggy pancake.

The door burst open. Stan had arrived. They grabbed Richie by the shoulders, took away his pancakes and said, “It's ok to miss him.”

Richie crumbled, his whole body falling, like a marionette whose strings have been cut. Stan rushed to catch him, but they didn't have enough strength and the two went tumbling to the ground. 

Mike sat down on the ground next to them, trying to provide his friend with support, but not knowing how. He just sat. 

The sound of Richie’s sobs tore into Mike’s chest, making him feel a loss like never before. Stan’s voice, trying to soothe Richie’s heartbreak, almost filled the hole that formed in Mike’s chest at Richie’s sob. 

“It's all gonna be ok, Rich. He’s gonna come back.” Stan rubbed Richie’s back, “and when he does you two will make the most obnoxious couple ever.”

Richie sobbed harder, the words, “I-i never got to tell him,” slipping out between the tears.

Mike sympathised. Bill and Stan were his Eddie, they weren't so far away though. The three hadn't had their moment of uncertainty that would lead them to a true and honest relationship. But Richie and Eddie, once they overcame this, would have their perfect, or as close to perfect as was possible, relationship. Mike just knew it.

Eddie couldn't say he was scared of his mother, but he was. Now, he was. Before he couldn’t dream of her hurting him like this, but now it seems like she couldn't give a fuck.

Mommy had taken his phone and had locked him in his room, so he wouldn't be able to leave her. He wanted to leave her. 

Eddie Kaspbrak couldn't be babied anymore, and he couldn't do everything for her. It was as if, when his father died, Eddie had become both husband and child to Sonia Kaspbrak.

Whoever this guy was, (probably some chump Sonia found on the internet) he was good. The man acted like Eddie did before he left for college. The man was shy and demure, he did chores with his head down, quietly. The man wasn’t defiant, like Eddie, he wasn’t angry inside, like Eddie, and he wasn’t full of tampered down curses, like Eddie. The man was strong and did Sonia’s bidding, so Eddie was trapped in his childhood home. 

All he could do was sit on his bed and think.

Eddie had so many things to think about. Richie is the most important one, passing his freshman year of college while trapped at home being the secondary one and escaping being the tertiary one. 

Richie. Did he… love Richie? 

Simple answer: yes.

Complicated answer: yes. Eddie Kaspbrak loved Richie Tozier. Eddie Kaspbrak loved Richie Tozier with almost all his heart, a small portion of his heart was kept locked up, designated to love no one. To protect himself from becoming dependent on one person, as Mommy had. So yes, Eddie Kaspbrak loved Richie Tozier, but only as much as he would allow because if he loved too much and Richie didn't love him back, he could break, and that wouldn’t be pretty.

Eddie stood up and began to pace. Beverly said that Richie loved him. She had texts from Stan to Richie that said the exact same thing. Beverly said she wouldn't lie to him, so maybe she didn't.

Maybe Richie really did love him back. If Richie did love him back, what would he do? What would Eddie say? Was the right move to be sincere? Should he make a joke? Would Richie appreciate it if Eddie made a joke? Would Eddie want Richie to love him back?

Of course, Eddie wanted Richie to love him back. What kind of stupid questions did Eddie’s brain feel the need to ask? 

But did he?

He wanted Richie to love him (but only if Richie actually had feelings, Eddie wasn't a monster). Eddie wanted things to be perfect. But things would never be perfect because perfect was a construct, a fake-ass construct. 

Eddie wanted things to stay the same, with the addition of kissing and stuff. Eddie really wanted to kiss Richie Tozier, but he didn't want things to change. 

What if dating changed them? What if it changed their dynamic to something different. Eddie supposed difference could be good, but what if it wasn't? 

A knock interrupted his thoughts, which was good since he was starting to get a bit panicky. 

Eddie called out, “Its locked, which is more your fault than mine.” 

The lock twisted and the man’s face popped in through the small space. He said nothing, just slid Eddie’s phone towards him.

Eddie raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“Take it.” He pushed the phone at Eddie, “You have a charging cable?” Eddie nodded. “Good.” Then he tried to explain himself, “I swear I never meant to hurt anyone, I just wanted to help your mom.”

Eddie nodded, “I know how manipulative she can be. I mean, I lived with her for almost my whole life, I get it.”

The man smiled, then left, locking the door behind him.

The first thing Eddie did was to check his messages from Richie. All of them broke his heart. 

Disprespectfulbitch-eddiek

Disrespectfulbitch: im so sorry eddie

Disrespectfulbitch: you dont deserve any of this

Disrespectfulbitch: im sorry eds

Disrespectfulbitch: please come back

Disrespectfulbitch: I miss you eds

Eddiek: i miss you too che

Richie liked the feeling of Mike’s warm arms around him. Normally he would compare them to Eddie’s arms, but Stan told him that thinking about Eddie would result in being sprayed with a spray bottle, and Richie was too invested in the movie to want to be sprayed. 

The three teenagers were watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off and cuddling, trying their best to be a sufficient distraction. Stan ran their fingers through Richie’s hair, sending jolts of warmth through his body. Platonic best friend cuddles were always nice.

Richie’s phone buzzed on the desk, he would have thought nothing of it if he hadn't let only one person's notifications on. Eddie’s.

Richie squirmed out of bed and over to his phone, clutching it in his hand as his fingers refused to unlock the phone fast enough. He was getting frustrated, his hands beginning to shake. 

“Here,” Mike said, reaching over to unlock the phone and handing it back to the bespectacled boy. 

Eddie had simply written, ‘I miss you too che.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things happened. 1st of all, so sorry for not updating sooner, I started school and tbh it's felt like a rollercoaster into shark-infested waters. 2nd of all, I have had very little inspiration, I haven't planned a single aspect of this book, and now I don't know how to solve the problem Eddie's gotten himself into. 3rd of all, I am writing this on my new computer, so yay! and that's it, those are my important things to tell yall. 
> 
> I hope you have a wonderful day and please comment. I get so uninspired without reminders from you guys that this fic is worth it!!!
> 
> -Sammi

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is very similar to other group chat fics, so please let me know if you find one similar to mine and I will tag them as inspiration, thank you :)


End file.
